


Grayscale

by sendatsu



Series: This Isn't How It Works On Teen Wolf! [2]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Animal Transformation, Cultural References, Gun Violence, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Violence, references to cannibalism, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-22 06:14:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 63,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2497559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendatsu/pseuds/sendatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the full moon, Koz and Jack struggle to find their way as the path ahead becomes less and less clear.  The wolves still shadow their footsteps.  Slowly they both discover: there's no turning back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Path is Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I'm impatient, so I decided to start posting this before finishing my manuscript!
> 
> Listen to this fic's fan soundtrack here: http://8tracks.com/guardian-of-da-gay/grayscale

The days after Jack was bitten were a blur. Koz was numb. Exhausted His body fully focused on the singular task of getting them both to the cabin before the full moon. He remembered even less after he finally slung Jack’s feverish body onto the bed and bolted the cabin door.

This was unsurprising; it was always like that when Koz changed on the full moon. The nights were a blot on his memory and the days smeared together, a warped painting of nausea, headaches, and stiffness that never left no matter how much he flexed and stretched. 

At night he blacked out and during the day he was too feverish to stay conscious for long. He dreamt of jagged teeth-crack-breaking-crack-bones, of blood and viscera, of rolling over to face Jack’s corpse – his eyes sunken and lips bloodless, of a shadowy man leaning over his still form, monsters scuttling under the floor, claws scritchingscratching beneath his feet, and Seraphina opening the note he’d left behind and shattering into a thousand pieces.

His only distraction, his only drive, was in sustaining Jack. A few times the boy woke, but only long enough to open his eyes, blink, and close them again. A few times he was conscious enough that Koz could prop him up and get some water in him. 

In his lowest moment he considered letting the boy starve or simply not giving him any water. He didn’t have any bullets, but he wasn’t without options. But then he thought (remembered or dreamt, he wasn’t sure) that he’d heard werewolves that starve or die of dehydration returned to life as vampires. His more wakeful mind might have dismissed this notion if he hadn’t remembered all the accounts of blood-drinking wolves from South America and stories from Eastern Europe where werewolves and vampires were thought to be one in the same.

Regardless, once the moon had passed and he began to feel more himself he realized he couldn’t let Jack die. He shouldn’t have tried to kill him in the first place. He wasn’t even sure now why he had attempted it. He tried to insist to himself it was to save Jack from the miserable existence that lay before him, but he couldn’t help the niggling doubt that it was an attempt to destroy evidence of his own mistake. He lay awake thinking on it, wringing himself into a condensed ball of self-hatred before vowing that he would do all in his power to ensure Jack’s safety and quality of life.

The full moon passed. The best comparable experience was going to bed, miserable from days of illness with the flu and then waking to find yourself completely recovered.

Koz’s spirits were lifted just enough for him to venture into the forest for food. The supplies in the cabin grew less and less as the days passed, but he didn’t dare leave Jack’s side for as long as it would take to find real food.

It was a few days later that Koz returned after foraging and found Jack awake, looking around himself in blurry confusion. 

Koz hurried to grab a cup of water as he always did when Jack managed to open his eyes. He approached Jack’s bedside and crouched down, watching as the boy’s pale blue eyes struggled to focus on him.

“Hey.” Jack’s voice cracked.

Koz licked his lips as Jack blinked sleepily at him. He’d waited so long and committed himself to caring for him, but he’d forgotten he’d have to talk to the boy. He didn’t know what to say to him. 

He settled instead on helping Jack prop up his head enough to sip at the cup he offered him, making sure he didn’t drink too much. The last thing Jack’s body needed after so many days of little water and no food was to vomit up what precious fluids he could get down.

“Where’re we?” The young man murmured as Koz settled his head back against the pillow.

“The cabin.”

“Oh.” Jack looked around. His eyes glanced over the open door, evening sunlight streaming in and cutting through the gloom of the cabin’s interior. He’d spent more time there than Koz, yet there was not a trace of recognition on his face.

“How are you feeling?” Koz asked, then winced. Of course Jack probably felt awful. And it was Koz’s fault.

Koz wanted to retreat. To find something to do until Jack inevitably passed out again, but this was the most alert Jack had been and he owed it to him to do this, to be here while Jack clung to the shred of life he had left.

“I’m feel…” Jack blinked slowly. “I have a headache…” He licked his lips, his wits seeming to settle in. “Naked,” he said. “Where’re my clothes?”

“I was afraid you’d tear them when you turned,” Koz said, his tone apologetic as he stood to retrieve the clothes from where he’d stashed them in the bathroom. 

When he returned, he found Jack gently touching the smooth patch of skin where he’d been bitten. He fingers moved sluggishly while his brow pinched in confusion. 

Koz’s mouth was dry. He’d done that.

He set Jack’s clothes beside him on the bed. The young man’s eyes drifted towards him and he let go of the scar and reached over for the clothing, pulling it to his chest, but not moving to get dressed.

“Are we swimming?” He asked, looking at Koz’s trunks.

“They were the only clothes I could find.” Koz said.

“You’re cute.” Jack smiled. It was sweet, but a little confusing; he was acting so nonchalant. Maybe he was more out of it than Koz had thought. 

He propped the boy’s head up again and offered him another sip of water before pulling away, hoping the drink would clear his head. He wished he could retreat but forced himself to move only as far as the edge of the bed. His fingers tapped against the cup. “Jack… how much do you remember?”

“I remember… “ Jack’s eyes went distant. “A wolf attacked me, but I killed it... Then I heard you yelping and I went to go help you.” 

Koz’s heart sank. Jack was coming to help him and he’d gotten bitten. A wave of nausea washed over him. “I’m sorry,” he said, trying to keep the wavering in his voice under control. “I know there’s nothing I can do to make it right…” 

“It’s… it’s fine. I mean - it’s not fine, but it’s not your fault.”

“Not my fault? I’m directly responsible!” Koz couldn’t help the emotion that tangled through his words. He swallowed hard.

“No.” Jack shook his head and his eyes rolled shut. For a moment, Koz thought he’d passed out again, but then his eyes blinked opened and focused in on him once more. “You tried… You tried to help me. You stopped him from killing me.”

Koz’s eyebrows rose. “Him?” Who was ‘him’? Jamie?

“You know… the albino wolf. He attacked me and you fought him off.” Jack’s eyebrows pinched together. “Sort of. I think he mostly just walked away.” He shrugged and winced. “It could’ve been worse.”

Koz frowned. “You have no idea.” He remembered a flash of bloody teeth and a crunch of bone and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the memory. “So it wasn’t me?” He asked finally. “It wasn’t me who bit you?” He opened his eyes to see Jack looking at him – unbelievably – with concern in his eyes.

“No,” Jack said. “You saved me.”

And then he’d tried to kill him. His wolf side had more decency than his human one.

Koz sighed and Jack frowned in response.

“Am I going to turn all wolfy tonight?”

Koz merely nodded.

Jack’s frown deepened. “I feel like it’s been days… I thought the full moon past, maybe?”

“It has past, you’ll just be weak to it for a little longer.”

There was a quiet moment where Koz felt a slow wave of creeping relief steal over him. Jack’s life was ruined, but at least it wasn’t entirely his fault. The relief was followed by guilt. Jack’s life was still ruined. And he needed to tell him that he’d tried to shoot him.

“Will it hurt?” Jack asked in a quiet, wavering voice, his eyes wet. “It looked like it hurt when you… when you changed.”

The way he looked at him. Like Koz was his only hope. That gaze forced him to swallow hard and think. Would telling Jack Koz had almost killed him be good for Jack, or just for Koz’s consience? He let out a breath. No. That was a sample of Koz’s failure at human decency that he’d simply have to hold in himself forever.

In regards to Jack’s question though - there was no sense lying to him. “Yes,” Koz said. “It’s… painful but also not painful. Your endorphins kick in, so you’ll feel a sharp pain that fades to numbness and then another pain and – well,” he cleared his throat, smelling Jack’s fear. “It’s… not pleasant… but more disorienting than anything else.”

“Okay,” Jack said. He clenched and unclenched his hands around the bundle of clothing in his arms and blinked the dampness from his eyes, breathing heavily.

Koz sighed. He had little practice looking after others. The only exception was Seraphina - but tending to her needs was easy, instinctual, and relatively uncomplicated. He couldn’t reassure Jack by telling him a story or offering hugs and kisses. Nothing could fix this.

“I’m gonna try to get dressed,” Jack said finally, slowly pushing himself into a sitting position.

“I’ll step out a moment then, shall I?” Koz stood and went to the bathroom to give Jack some privacy. No sooner had he closed the door however, than he heard a loud thud.

“Jack?” He asked loudly, opening the door a jar.

Jack didn’t respond.

Koz felt a prickle along the back of his neck. 

He stepped out of the bathroom and saw Jack on the floor by the bed, clothing scattered around and blankets tangled in his limbs. His eyes were closed and his whole body was trembling in great heavy jerks. For a moment, Koz was afraid he’d given him too much water and the boy was going to vomit, but the prickling on his neck only grew. He glanced out the window. He hadn’t realized how late it was.

He pulled off his trunks and folded them neatly. He didn’t need to turn, but he sort of wanted to. He’d be famished in the morning, but he always slept better this way. Koz felt the moon’s influence on him grow stronger and he watched with a sort of horrified fascination as his nails darkened and curved.

Jack’s body jack-knifed, throwing the blanket off his pale form as white fur spread out from his spine and over his shoulders. He was unconscious, which was probably for the better, Koz thought, as he watched the younger man’s face lengthen and narrow, contorting into a snout. He began to whimper, then yelp, the wolf crying out as he came into the world.

Koz closed his eyes as the change came on, his senses filling with the sounds of Jack’s pained cries and the scent of his fear. 

***

“I’d hoped to stay in the cabin until you stopped changing,” Koz said when Jack woke the next morning. “I know you probably still aren’t feeling well, but we’re almost out of food. We need to get more, but I can’t leave you alone, so you’re going to have to come with me.”

If Jack could have moved, he would have probably made a remark that they were already starving – what harm would a few days of no food do? But he couldn’t muster the energy and the thought disappeared like a leaf in the wind. Instead, he just licked his lips and let out a breath that he sort of hoped sounded like an ‘okay.’

Koz frowned down at him, face pinched with concern. He reached an arm under Jack’s head and helped prop him up for a quick drink. Jack felt like he could have drank a river, but Koz didn’t let him have more than a few sips.

Koz settled his head back against the pillow. Brushing the hair out of Jack’s face, he pressed his palm to his forehead. 

Jack’s eyes slid closed. Koz’s palm felt deliciously warm.

“You’re freezing,” Koz said, pulling the blankets up around Jack’s chin. Jack couldn’t bring himself to worry over his perturbed tone. “How do you feel?”

Jack opened his eyes sluggishly and tried to speak, but his tongue felt strange and foreign. “Lousy,” he managed.

Koz totally ignored what he said and simply seemed relieved that Jack had spoken. “Do you need anything? Could you eat?”

Jack shook his head.

“Would you like a shower before we go?”

Jack thought and then nodded. Maybe he’d feel better after he was clean.

Koz helped him up, which was when Jack remembered he was naked. He tried to reach back for the safe modesty of his blanket, blushing furiously as his embarrassment roused him from his lethargy. His plan backfired when he stumbled and ended up pitching into Koz. 

Thankfully, Koz was much steadier on his feet, but the fact that Jack hadn’t fallen naked on top of him was only slightly better than the actual outcome – Jack pressing full-bodied and naked against Koz with only Koz’s arms around his lower back to support him.

Jack looked up into the man’s face, utterly mortified. Koz looked back at him, eyebrows raised as they both took a moment to mentally assess: yes, this is quite the awkward situation, isn’t it? Thankfully, Koz chose not to say anything, but helped tip Jack back onto his feet and then, supporting the younger man with one hand, he reached for the blanket and draped it around Jack’s shoulders.

He walked Jack to the bathroom and turned on the water for him. Koz politely looked the other way as Jack hobbled into the bathtub. The younger man got left the blanket with Koz as he pulled the shower curtain closed behind him.

The water felt nice, but heavy. Jack had to sit down on the shower floor or risk letting the stream knock over his wobbly, malnourished form.

He hadn’t ever taken a shower the whole time he was in the cabin. At first it was because he was worried that the cabin owner would return suddenly. Being caught in someone else’s shower sounded like a horrific first meeting, so he’d avoided the temptation. By the time he realized no one was coming, he was too focused on escaping the woods without becoming wolf food to think about hygiene. 

Thinking of the Bennett pack only brought back bad memories.

He forced himself to focus on what was before him, lazily running his hands over the rim of the tub. It was one of those free-standing tubs like Jack had seen on TV and was clearly very old. There were subtle scratches around the inner walls and the paint was chipped in several places. The shower head was nothing more than a pipe sticking out of the floor with a nozzle attached. He forced himself to focus on the swirls of the pipe’s welding until he felt better. Then he took a moment to assess himself.

He’d never looked so thin, not even when things were their worst at home. He looked like the sort of person they staged eating-disorder interventions for on daytime television, stick-thin with his ribs sticking out prominently. He wasn’t hungry though, more nauseous than anything - nauseous and thirsty.

He gathered some of the shower water in his hands and drank some. It tasted vaguely of dirt, but he didn’t care. He took a few greedy sips before he remembered that people who were starving couldn’t eat a lot right away or they’d be sick – did the same apply for people who were very dehydrated? He didn’t want to risk it, so he only took a few sips more before letting the water fall between his fingers.

He reached a hesitant hand up along his neck and found the foreign lines of smooth scar tissue running jaggedly across his flesh. He wondered how bad it looked. It had felt awful – magic healing or not, it must look awful.

Jack rested his head against the rim of the tub, water dripping from his hair. For the first time in many days, he allowed himself to think of his family. 

How would this affect them?

The healing factor might come in handy with his father, he thought ruefully. ‘Now when I don’t go to the hospital, it will be because I won’t actually need to go.’ And he wouldn’t have to make up excuses for cuts and bruises – they’d heal all on their own.

This could be a good thing, Jack decided. He could help his mother and sister with this. He could even – the thought prickled, fresh and new – he could even kick his dad out of the house. A little growling and some super strength – what could his dad do against that?

Call the police. Call the newspapers. Shoot him.

It might be worth getting shot, if it meant Emma would be safe – presumably if his father killed him, he’d go to jail. But then, his father probably couldn’t get his hands on silver bullets, he wouldn’t be able to kill Jack. He’d just be able to hurt him a lot.

Jack shuddered and brushed his dripping hair out of his face. He sighed as logic set in - all this changed was that he’d be even less welcome in his own home and his father would work harder to keep him in line. 

He let the water run down his face, swallowing around a lump in his throat; reality was a terrible place.

*

Jack felt better, but not stronger, after his shower. He toweled off and dressed quickly, feeling chilled and shaky. Koz had obviously attempted to clean his clothes for him, but there were still a series of extremely suspicious stains all along the front, and the shoulder was torn to shreds on one side. He supposed he couldn’t complain. All Koz had to wear was a pair of swim trunks which belonged to somebody else.

When Jack emerged from the bathroom, he immediately went to the bed and sat down, proud that he’d managed to remain standing as long as he had.

“Tired?” Koz asked from his place at the kitchen table.

“Exhausted.”

“That’s normal,” Koz said, rolling his fork across the remains of a microwaved pie. “You’ll probably feel terrible for a few more days at least.” There was a bowl next to his plate, steam rising from whatever was inside it. Koz picked the bowl up and retrieved a spoon from the sink and brought them both to Jack.

Up close, Jack could see the bowl was full of chicken noodle soup. Looking at the steaming soup, he only felt only disgust. “No offense, but I don’t think I can keep it down.”

“Humor me then. Please.” Koz said, “You don’t even have to eat any of the chunks, just the broth.”

Jack didn’t want any, but he had realized in the shower that he was actually probably close to starving to death. He managed a few swallows of the broth before he couldn’t tolerate it any longer – but Koz seemed satisfied.

“Where are we going to get food?” Jack asked while Koz finished off the soup. “It actually doesn’t matter,” he said quickly, “I can’t walk that far.”

Koz almost cracked a smile. “If you’re well enough to snark, you’re well enough to walk.”

Jack made a face and was about to protest when he saw Koz was actually smirking. “You liar,” he said.

“I’m not lying, I might make you walk a little. You’re light, but not light enough that I can carry you the whole way. We’re walking for the island. That way I’m sure you’ll be safe when you turn. Then we’ll go to the campgrounds and acquire food and clothing. But whenever you can’t walk, I’ll carry you.”

“Oh, Sam,” Jack sighed.

“If you’re well enough to make pop-culture references, you’re definitely well enough to walk.”

Jack groaned. Using humor to mask your problems could be quite a bitch sometimes.

Koz sneered and pulled Jack to his feet. “Come on now, Mister Frodo,” he said.

They’d lost their cooler and Koz’s pack, so Koz wrapped their meager food supplies in the blanket from the bed and fastened it with a safety pin he found in a stray drawer. He carried this, leaving Jack to hobble along, empty-handed, behind him. 

Jack wanted to stop and rest shortly after walking down the cabin steps, but he also wanted to at least try. He forced himself to remember every word of encouragement his physical therapist had given him back when he’d broken his leg, but it was hard. Everything he’d learned was to help him push through pain - this boneless exhaustion was quite different.

Koz was quiet the whole morning. His brow was drawn and his jaw clenched in a way Jack was coming to recognize as his ‘brooding’ face. Koz seemed more upset about Jack getting bitten than Jack was. Maybe it just hadn’t hit him yet, or maybe he was too distracted by his surroundings.

Everything felt too loud and too bright. Jack would hear a bird fly by over his shoulder. Hear each feather rustling against the wind with each wing flap. Then he’d turn and see the actual sparrow some forty-feet away. They made their way through the underbrush and sometimes it seemed like just that and sometimes the snap and shift of the branches sounded like the rumble and crack of thunder. Light reflecting off the grass burnt his eyes like he’d stared directly at the sun. It was intense and uncomfortable. Koz was right. Being a werewolf was disorienting, and the ever-present exhaustion and thirst didn’t help.

Jack didn’t walk in a straight line the entire morning. Instead he tottered one way or the other, legs heavy and eyes itching for sleep. He came up with a system of making his way from one tree to the next, pausing briefly at each. Of course this technique could only last him so long. After the fourth or fifth time he fell down, Koz stopped.

“Do you want to rest?”

“No,” Jack said, not getting up from where he’d fallen.

“I wasn’t joking when I said I’d carry you,” Koz said, putting down his bundle and kneeling beside him.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to get going again if I stop,” Jack said.

“It won’t be much further. We’re moving in a less roundabout way this time.” Koz took Jack’s arm and hauled him up.

Koz carried Jack piggy-back – which Jack would have felt more embarrassed about if he weren’t too tired to feel self-conscious.

His senses were still going haywire. Jack’s ears actually hurt. He’d known this must have been physically possible – Lord knew he’d heard enough old people complain about loud music hurting their ears – but somehow he’d never actually believed it was a real thing.

At the worst of times, Jack would bury his face in the back of Koz’s neck. There was something grounding about Koz’s smell. He’d been a comfort to Jack for so long, Jack shouldn’t have been surprised that he felt so safe with him. He even managed to doze a little.

It was probably for the best that they hadn’t stopped. It was nearly evening by the time they reached the lake. Jack could hardly keep his eyes open. 

Koz set him on his feet for a moment. He gave Jack the food bundle, then took the boy’s other hand and led him into the water.

Jack’s heart sped up as they walked the first few feet into the lake. He took a few deep breaths, wincing as the water lapped higher and higher on his weakened frame. When the water was just touching Jack’s neck, Koz wrapped an arm around him and began to swim with him across the lake, using a slow but steady backstroke.

The water was over Jack’s ears, dimming the sounds that had plagued him the whole day. It would have been pleasant, if he weren’t so terrified. Jack shivered and the water trembled around him. The sky was darkening overhead and the water was cool. A wave lapped up high against Jack’s face and he squeezed his eyes shut. “C-can werewolves survive drowning?” He asked, teeth clacking together.

“I’m not sure,” Koz said, panting as he swam. “Let’s not find out.”

Water sloshed across Jack’s face. He shuddered and opened his eyes. And saw the moon.

*

Jack woke slowly.

“Ow.” He ached all over. His head was throbbing, he was thirsty, and he was starving. He curled up in a ball of miserable agony, trying to breathe through the pain. He smelled food.

Jack jerked up and his head spun. “Oh,” he groaned, clutching his head. He blinked back tears of pain as he slowly looked around.

The sun shone brightly between the leaves of the island’s lone tree. Koz had thrown the blanket across him. It was still damp from the swim over but it had been heated by the warming day. Jack pushed it down his body and slowly rolled over.

“Koz?” He croaked. He swallowed. His tongue felt like sandpaper.

He glanced around again.

There was their food supplies. 

He looked behind himself. 

There was the tree.

Where was Koz? 

Jack struggled to stand, panic overriding his exhaustion as he leaned against the tree and looked frantically across the waters, but all was still. Jack was on a tiny island in the middle of a lake he couldn’t cross and he was entirely alone.


	2. Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts chase their way round and round but nobody gets anywhere. As they leave the full moon behind them, its influence will ebb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh you guys! Thank you so much for giving me such a great response for last chapter, it was super motivating and just made me feel all overwhelmed and warm and fuzzy!! ;U; Thank you all who commented on the fic or else expressed excitement over on the ol' tumbub!

When Koz had awoken the sky was the faint purple of very early morning. He’d rolled over on the sandy beach and saw Jack just where he’d left him before his exhaustion had taken hold. It was so early the boy had been in his lupine form still. Koz had stared at him a moment, the large, pale shape standing out against the darkness of his surroundings.

Jack was just as weak in his wolf form as he was as a human. He’d passed out shortly after the change. 

He’d lain curled beneath the tree, on his side. Occasionally he had jerked or kicked his legs in dreaming. It had almost been cute, but Jack wasn’t a pet. He wasn’t even a wolf. He was a human trapped (albeit temporarily) in that form.

Koz had hoped he could have elaborated his plan more to Jack before he changed, but Jack had fallen asleep on his back during the long journey to the island and then he’d changed. Koz hadn’t any time to lose.

Luckily, he’d planned ahead. 

He’d draped the blanket over Jack’s slumbering form and sorted through his pile of supplies until he’d found what he was looking for – a ziplock bag with a pad of sticky notes and a pen inside it. He’d been glad to find such trivial but useful things in the drawers at the cabin. He was more glad they’d survived the trip across the water. 

He’d scratched out a message and left the pad half under one of the canned goods he’d brought. He could only hope Jack would see it when he awoke.

Then Koz had dove into the water and swum across, heading northwest, towards the bank closest to the campgrounds.

*

The forest was in the in-between time of night and dawn. The day animals were just waking as the night creatures scurried homeward. Koz saw morning doves poke their heads out of their nests and owls returning to theirs. Occasionally he’d turn his head at the rustle of underbrush or the breaking of branches, but it was always harmless forest animals. He saw a fox, a hawk, and quite a few startled deer, but no werewolves. Either they’d thoroughly frightened off their stalkers, or the wolves didn’t think he and Jack were worth pursuing now that they were both fellow werewolves.

This wasn’t unwise of them. Stalking the two of them had taken a lot of time and effort and cost the lives of several of their pack. If the pack had initially targeted Jack because they thought he was a hunter, they probably didn’t need to pursue him now that he had been bitten. If he really were a hunter - as they’d thought - becoming a werewolf would cut him off from the hunting community. Hunters needed the strength of their numbers to be a threat. Without a community, Jack would be crippled in a fight against supernatural creatures. Numbers were the one thing hunters had over their supernatural targets and the pack probably knew this.

He and Jack were no more than rogues – rogue hunters and rogue werewolves. 

Koz let out a huff almost like a laugh. Jack wasn’t a hunter. It was strange to remember. All of Koz’s friends were hunters. His lawyer, Sandy, and his therapist, Tooth - both of whom he’d only hesitate slightly to refer to as friends - were both tied to the hunting community. 

He swallowed hard as he felt a creeping sense of fond nostalgia threaten to take hold of him. No, he couldn’t dwell on his own his friends. Thinking of all those he was leaving might lead him to lose his resolve and he couldn’t afford to do that. Especially not now that he had Jack to worry about. Losing his resolve would mean going home, seeing Seraphina - holding her, breathing in the smell of that ridiculous shampoo she liked purely because of the commercials - and listening to her as she regaled him about everything he’d missed since he’d left in between angry, well-deserved jabs for him being away so long—

God, he wished she were here so she could ignore him in favor of her phone. He missed the way she’d smile and let out a huff of air in laughter over something one of her friends had texted her.

God. Koz stopped walking. He missed her. The ache of her absence hit him hard and he was left gasping in the wake of the sudden blow. He’d never felt homesick so strongly before, but then, before he could always call her, couldn’t he? He’d always been reassured that no matter how far he wandered he would eventually return home – to her. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see his daughter so much it was agony. A weight seemed to settle inside him, crushing his chest until it felt like there was no air left in the world. He pressed a hand to his chest, searching, before he remembered…

He didn’t have her locket any more. He’d left it at home. When he’d left for the woods, he’d fully intended to die. He hadn’t been able to stomach the thought that the locket might end up soaked in his blood, tangled around a corpse’s neck and slowly rusting in the dirt. It had felt like that’s what he was doing to Seraphina – and he quickly shied away from the thought that maybe that would happen regardless. 

Now, despite his best efforts, he was alive and he wanted the locket more than anything. He wanted to see Seraphina’s face.

He could feel his resolve to stay away dwindling and tried to derail his thoughts - to think rationally, to cut off his emotions - but the only excuse he could think to use to sever the claws homesickness had sunk into him was another tangle of emotions. And that was Jack.

He couldn’t go home – what would happen to Jack? Jack was his responsibility. He couldn’t walk away from him.

‘But I walked away from Seraphina.’

‘But I was too dangerous to be around her!’

Koz’s thoughts scattered as he broke through the tree line and came upon one of the campground hiking paths. He’d been so absorbed in his thoughts he’d hardly watched where he was walking. It was lucky he hadn’t stumbled into a campsite by accident.

Koz let out a long breath and closed his eyes. He forced the noise of his mind to quiet, focusing only on what he felt at that moment. The wind was blowing gently and the leaves rustled with each passing breath. Beneath the canopy of trees it was cool, the temperature just kissing the edge of ‘chilly. Fall was settling in; he could smell the bite in the air as sure as he could the soil and trees. He let his senses wash out the turmoil of his mind until his thoughts were calm and then he opened his eyes and started onward again.

It was nearly midday by the time Koz found his first camp. The campers must have been off hiking or fishing at the nearby river – whatever it was people did when they went into the forest without the intent to hunt monsters. 

They’d left their food suspended off the ground in a large trash bag so animals couldn’t get into it. Unfortunately for them, Koz was not an animal.

As quiet as he could, Koz lowered the food. He took the lot of it – the rope too. The campers might have to cut their trip short, but Koz and Jack wouldn’t starve.

Koz walked a ways deeper into the forest, off the hiking path. He snapped a few branches off the bushes, swatting angry insects away from his face as he did. He lashed these branches to the trash bag, to hide the bright plastic gleam, then suspended the food off the ground with its new camouflage and set out back towards the camps.

A few times he found sites with people still in them or else just nearby. He gave these a wide berth. All his experience avoiding detection while hunting monsters came in handy when he was only hiding from humans. 

As the day drew on Koz managed to steal two backpacks stuffed with men’s clothing, two pairs of men’s shoes and a simple fishing rod before he determined that he’d gotten all he could carry. He went back to grab his food stash and then started off for the island.

***

It was late afternoon by the time Koz made it back. Jack saw him from afar – there wasn’t much else to see on the island. He nearly cried with relief. 

The young man hovered at the edge of the island as Koz swam over, dragging a very full trash bag after him.

Koz sloshed on land, panting with exertion and dripping wet. Jack tried to cover how anxious he’d been (and still was) by helping him pull the bag up onto the island, a task that would have been much easier if he hadn’t had to hold the blanket around his waist the whole time (it seemed the material was determined to come undone whenever Jack had tried to knot it about his waist).

He took a few steps back and adjusted his grip on the blanket at his waist. He wanted to yell at Koz for leaving him, but at the same time, was too relieved that he’d come back. “Have a nice day, sweetheart?” He cooed, trying to smooth over the panic still lingering at the edge of his mind.

“Just lovely darling.” Koz panted, leaning back on his hands as he sat on the island’s small beach. He peered up, nose crinkling, and looked at Jack. “How was yours?”

“So boring.” Jack grimaced. He could feel his fear ebbing, but made sure none of the lingering emotion surfaced in his face. Hiding his feelings was an act so familiar it was almost comforting. “And hot. It’s gotten so hot! I felt like I was on Castaway.”

Koz made a face where he sort of looked like he was in pain, but which Jack had learned was just him being on the verge of smiling. “I didn’t even leave you a volleyball to keep you company.”

“You didn’t! It was…” Jack licked his dry lips and tried not to think of how he’d spent the first hour this morning sitting under the tree, arms wrapped around his knees, sometimes crying, sometimes just sitting there feeling empty and alone before hunger drove him to the supplies where he’d found Koz’s note and promptly felt like the biggest, most childish moron ever born – then maybe cried a little because of this also. “It was super boring.”

Koz looked at him, quizzical and concerned. He didn’t seem to be buying Jack’s act. Jack turned away from him, worried Koz might read some minute signal from him and start picking at it. He began to look through the clothing in the backpacks, acting like he didn’t notice or care that Koz was watching him.

“I’m sorry I left you alone like that,” Koz said finally. “I was hoping to save on daylight and I should’ve realized…”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Jack’s heart pounded. Shit, no, he didn’t want to talk about this. He tried to pull on the new clothes without removing his blanket. “I’m used to spending time to myself, I just usually have a television or something you know? It was fine. Boring, but fine. And now we have food and clothes!”

Koz looked away while Jack pulled on some cargo shorts and a grey t-shirt. There was a pair of underwear in the bag, but Jack wasn’t sure if they were tomorrow’s pair or yesterday’s. Either way, he felt better going commando than he did about wearing some stranger’s underpants.

The clothes hardly fit him, but it felt good to wear something.

Koz pulled some dry clothes out himself. Jack looked the other way while he changed out of the old swim trunks and into fresh shorts and a white t-shirt. 

They ate. Or rather, Koz ate and Jack drank a little bit of Gatorade and slowly nibbled away at the end of a cheese-stick. He still wasn’t quite up to solid foods yet, but even just that little bit made him feel much stronger - physically and emotionally.

“So,” Jack said. He crumpled up the cheese wrapper and tucked it away in the front pocket of the nearest backpack, then sat up on his haunches. “What’s the plan?”

Koz looked across the water, arms crossed over his knees, typical frown in place. “I don’t really have one,” he said. “Other than ensuring that neither of us starves and keeping an eye out for the White Wolf’s pack, I’ve got nothing.”

“I mean…” Jack watched a beetle drifting in the shallows, tiny legs gently twitching as it grasped for land. He reached out and gently scooped it up. “When can we go home?”

Koz sighed and turned to look at him slowly, his frown deepening. Jack didn’t like that. “Going home isn’t a very viable option, Jack.”

“Well,” Jack thought, heart speeding up once more. “Yeah, I suppose I’m probably gonna go all wolfy tonight, so that’d probably be a bad idea. But eventually.”

Koz took a deep breath and looked at Jack – looked him right in the eye. That was never good. Anything that required eye contact to say was usually a big, heavy, not-good thing. “I feel like you haven’t grasped the magnitude of your situation.” Jack could tell Koz was making an effort to control his words and tone. It made him feel cold all over. “This isn’t the flu. You won’t suffer a few days then get all better. It’s a chronic condition with no cure and no treatment.”

The beetle in Jack’s hand promptly flew off, wings buzzing noisily. Jack hardly noticed. He huffed and rolled his eyes, annoyance fluttering through him alongside fear. “Well, women have monthly troubles too. I figure if we do a good enough job handling it, no one will even notice!”

Koz started and sputtered. “Turning into a monstrous beast is a little different than menstruation!”

Koz’s indignation didn’t faze Jack. “Chronic conditions can be managed. It’s not that I haven’t grasped the situation; I’m just trying to stay positive. There are a lot of people who get by with serious illnesses. I figure the best way to manage is to not freak out about it.” Jack rubbed his hands together fretfully. He stood up, fear fizzling into annoyance and filling him with adrenaline. He didn’t like the way Koz was looking at him – a mixture of pity and frustration.

“You should ‘freak out’ about it,” Koz said, slowly standing up as well. “You’re now the supernatural equivalent of a rabid dog - highly contagious and mindlessly dangerous. There is no ‘managing’.”

Jack’s anxiety fueled his annoyance into anger. He took a step towards the larger man, gesturing towards him. “You managed! Before you came here, things were under control.”

Koz took a step forward, the careful control over his facial expression slipping. “I got loose and nearly killed my own child!”

“But you didn’t!”

Koz scoffed in disgust, but Jack didn’t back down.

“No! You took pre-cautions and when one failed, the back-up plan stopped anything bad from happening!” He threw his hands up. “That’s like… the definition of successfully managing a bad situation!”

“Until you inevitably fail! It only takes one instance – one fuck-up – and you’ve killed someone. We can’t afford the possibility to make even a single mistake, Jack!”

“So, what? What are you going to do Koz? You can’t keep me here!” Panic spiked in him as he remembered Koz could. He was in the middle of a lake he couldn’t swim through, on an island with little provisions.

“I don’t want to keep you anywhere, Jack,” Koz said, deflating some as he stepped back. “Ideally, you’d realize that it would be best if you didn’t go home.”

Jack scowled, still biting back fear. “I don’t know about that,” he said. “I’ve got stuff to do Koz – I need to graduate. I’ve already missed so much school; I might have to repeat again. I…I have to look after my sister and make sure my dad doesn’t accidentally kill my mom. Koz, please. This is going to seriously throw a wrench in my life - and I know it fucked up yours pretty good - but I’m not ready to give up yet!”

Koz’s composure shattered. For a moment he looked livid - Jack was afraid he was going to hit him, but just as suddenly the man’s shoulders sagged and he let out a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter,” Koz said finally. “Like you said: you’re still changing at night, you can’t go home right now anyway.”

Jack let out a frustrated growl. “So ‘we’ll talk about it later’? That’s your answer? That’s not much of a solution!”

“Either way, we’re going to spend the next few days in close quarters – it’ll be better for the both of us if we don’t hate each other.” Koz took another step back and looked away over the water.

Jack let out a frustrated groan and ran his hand through his hair, finally resting his palms against his eyes and pressing in. He breathed deeply and counted to ten.

Fear pricked at the edge of his thoughts. What if Koz decided Jack was too much trouble? What if he left him on this island? What if, when Jack tried to go home, Koz tried to stop him? Would Koz keep him prisoner? Hurt him? Kill him? Did Koz think Jack was a monster now too?

A new fear bloomed. What if Koz let Jack leave and then killed himself, leaving Jack all alone? What would Jack do then? He could barely handle his life before this– how could he handle these new ‘monthly troubles’ by himself?

Jack let out a shaky breath. “Okay,” he said. “Compromise.” He pulled his hands away from his face and blinked spots from his vision. “I agree to stay here – temporarily – while I get the whole werewolf thing under control. Sound good?”

Koz didn’t look at him, just rubbed his knuckles over his forehead and sighed. “Sounds good,” he said at last.

Jack could sense a hint of pandering in his tone, but ignored it. Koz didn’t believe he could be safe in the real world, but that just meant Jack would have to prove him wrong.

***

Jack and Koz sat on either end of the island for a good while. Koz somehow had ended up on the side without shade, which he had decided was the equivalent of sleeping on the couch. 

He didn’t really dwell on this at first. He was angry that Jack couldn’t see reason, but he was also – loathe to admit it - a little hurt. Jack hadn’t seemed to realize it, but he’d basically accused Koz of ‘giving up’. He probably hadn’t meant much by it, but he’d essentially taken a jab at the concentrated knot of guilt Koz seemed to perpetually carry around with him. Now all sorts of ugly thoughts had broken free.

Was he giving up? He’d convinced himself that he was leaving for Seraphina’s sake – that any pain he caused would all be worth it to keep her safe from himself – but now he wasn’t so sure. When he’d come out here to take his life had he really been thinking of what was best for his daughter or was it because he wanted relief from all that his life had become? He’d been comforted by the thought that he’d had the best intentions for his daughter, but might they actually have been more selfish than that?

The sun beat down on him, the coolness of the morning burned away, leaving him to stew in the heat, guilt heavy inside him. Coarse sand clung to his faintly sweaty legs and gnats whined as they circled his head, giving physical sound to the thoughts chasing their way around and around Koz’s head. Finally Jack’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“You may have been right about wanting to keep on good terms as long as we’re here,” he said.

Koz turned to look at him. He let his silence speak as a silent affirmation, afraid of getting into another argument when he was still reeling from the last one. 

Jack looked at him from his place under the tree, his legs spread before him and arms crossed over his chest, a frown set on his face. “I’m so bored my head might explode.”

“You should rest,” Koz said. “Lie down for a bit.”

Jack moved to stand. “I’ve been resting for days. I want to do stuff!”

Koz frowned. By all rights, Jack should still be recovering from his brush with starvation, but he seemed relatively healthy again – albeit still very thin. Koz hadn’t counted on needing to entertain him or he might have tried to steal something for them to do. He sighed. This wasn’t doing anything for his mood.

Wait. He had stolen something for them to do, hadn’t he? Inspiration lifted his spirits slightly as he got up and approached their supplies. Jack quirked an eyebrow and watched as he dug around in one of the backpacks.

“They say if you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.” He pulled the fishing rod he’d stolen out of the bag. “But if you teach a man to fish, he’ll have something productive to do the next time you have to leave him alone for a long time.” 

This would have been more impressive if the rod weren’t in three pieces. Jack snorted as he watched Koz try to piece them together. “Because fishing is super entertaining,” he said.

Koz looked up from his task, eyebrows quirked. “Oh, I’m sorry – what exciting thing did you do all day?”

“Well first I watched the bank,” Jack said in a mockingly chipper tone. “Then when it got hot I sat in the water and tried to catch minnows until I remembered that one fish that can swim up your um… you know. And I couldn’t remember where it was from so I decided to get out.”

“I’m pretty sure it was in South America,” Koz said. “It was on River Monsters.”

“Oh my God,” Jack gasped. “You do watch television!”

Koz attached the fishing line reel with only a minor struggle. “Sometimes.” He said, “I always have trouble working that new-fangled technology.”

Jack laughed and Koz felt something in him grow lighter.

“Do you know how to use one of these?” Koz asked as he threaded the fishing line along the rod.

“It’s been a while,” Jack bit his lip and frowned thoughtfully. “I’m pretty sure the hook goes in the water.”

“Thanks,” Koz deadpanned. He finished threading the rod and started tying on one of the many hooks stashed in the backpack he’d taken. He knew that there were special knots for tying on hooks, but he didn’t know how to make them so he did a very simple, sloppy double knot. “We shall strive to emulate Mister Jeremy Wade, shall we?”

“Jeremy’s got nothing on his bad boy.” Jack grinned as he took the rod. “Now let’s dig up some bait.”

*

Shortly after they started fishing they realized the island’s single tree was insufficient for producing loose firewood and the branches were worth more as shade than fuel. With no way to cook their catch, the whopping haul of two palm-sized fish got off lucky and was released after capture.

“We channeled Jeremy Wade too intensely,” Jack said with a smile.

Koz found himself almost smiling back and was a little surprised for it. Jack’s good cheer was contagious. He liked it. He didn’t know how he’d react in this situation if he were alone, but he certainly wouldn’t have much cause to smile. Jack made the situation almost fun.

Probably because Jack was still convinced he could go home and could therefore still keep his good spirits. If Koz were alone, he would have already successfully killed himself.

Koz sighed. He watched Jack set the fishing rod gingerly against the tree and turn to go through the food items Koz had brought back with him. The boy’s movements were slow and varying between overly deliberate and sloppy. He was recovery faster than a human, but he was still recuperating from his ordeal. He was clearly exhausted.

Koz rubbed a hand over his face. Between his friendly disposition and his weakened state, it was hard to imagine Jack as dangerous. He forced himself to remember what would likely happen if Jack went home as he so desired.

Assuming he wasn’t turned over to an asylum, hospital, or the police immediately, he’d likely turn and/or kill his family. While Koz didn’t have high opinions of Jack’s father, that would still mean the loss of three human lives. If any of them were turned, they would each become a risk to everyone around them - neighbors, friends, any sort of human authority that tried to contain them. Jack was a walking pandemic. He couldn’t go home.

Koz remembered his own horror at waking up beside Jack’s still, bloodied form - the bottomless terror and self-loathing at what he’d thought he’d done. Jack wasn’t just a danger to others – if Jack had to go through an experience like that... He’d taken Aaron Bennett’s death badly and Aaron had been trying to kill him. What if the victim were his own sister? No, Koz wouldn’t let Jack face that. Somehow, he’d have to convince him not to go home. If he couldn’t convince him… he might have to force him. 

The thought had an edge to it that Koz didn’t like. Guilt clawed at him, but he pushed it away. It was for the best, even if Jack hated him for it. He could only hope that in time Jack would realize he was right. For now, he’d play along with Jack’s plan to get used to being a werewolf before returning home. Koz lifted his head, his resolve renewed somewhat.

Jack was looking at him in concern and Koz winced, guilt lancing through him. ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ he thought.

“You okay?” Jack asked.

‘Don’t be kind to me!’ Koz wanted to shout. “Fine,” he said. “Just tired.”

Jack smiled uncertainly. “Yeah? Me too. It’s definitely nap time after this.”

Koz looked down and saw Jack was holding two peeled oranges. The young man offered him one and Koz’s heart clenched painfully.

He took the offered food, but nausea made him hesitate before eating. He carefully separated each segment of the fruit before putting them in his mouth. The taste was ashen on his tongue.

It was getting late and the temperature was cooling down, otherwise they would have had to fight the swarms of gnats for his meager dinner. As un-enjoyable as the meal already was for Koz, the insects would make it much worse.

Jack ate his own fruit very slowly, peeling each segment off with his teeth, finally stopping when he’d finished half. He offered this to Koz as well and then sprawled on the ground with a groan. “Good night, Koz.” He yawned.

“Good night,” Koz replied automatically.

He stared out over the water while scenarios chased their way around and around his mind. He didn’t know what to do. How would they live? What future lay before them? 

He could tell North what happened. He and Jack could lock themselves in North’s cellar until they are inevitably discovered or else broke loose and hurt someone. 

They could run away to some uninhabited territory until some unfortunate human stumbled across them. 

Hunters would come for them; other werewolves might try to kill them. No matter how he looked at it, there was no way they could live peacefully. He’d thought through all these scenarios before he’d decided to enter the woods all those weeks ago and he’d come up with the same solution he put to all dangerous monsters: death.

He swallowed. The orange’s bitter tang was heavy on his tongue. Death wasn’t an option any more. He couldn’t kill Jack. He was an innocent bystander in all of this.

But he was a werewolf. He was dangerous and whether he wanted to or not he was capable of great harm.

But it wasn’t that simple. He wasn’t evil. Koz couldn’t kill him. No, death wasn’t an option.

Koz was startled out of his thoughts as Jack suddenly spoke. “Koz?”

The boy always seemed to interrupt him when his thoughts were heaviest. “Yes?”

“Thanks for… not leaving me.”

Koz swallowed. “Don’t thank me.”

“Too bad, I’m thanking you.” Koz could hear the smile in Jack’s voice. The boy’s back was to him, the fading sunlight throwing red light over the planes of his bony shoulders. “I’m going to get a thank you card for you when I can!” Jack teased.

Koz let out a helpless breath of a laugh and ran a hand over his face. “You’re welcome,” he said weakly.

Jack’s whole body tensed suddenly. Koz looked to the west and saw the sun disappear over the horizon.

Jack let out a shallow, pained groan as the change came. Koz didn’t look, he closed his eyes and tried to block out the sounds of Jack’s pathetic gasps and choked whines as the boy transformed.

When he was quiet once more, Koz finally looked at him.

Shreds of Jack’s clothing and clumps of wet sand clung to his silver-white fur. He lay on his side, paws curled against his chest. He was almost cute if you ignored that he was unconscious and not sleeping.

Koz sighed and stood. He stripped down and let the change come, drawing the wolf out. He didn’t have to. He had control. But he wanted to. 

Instantly he felt better. Thoughts for the future were too difficult to grasp in this form, they all slipped away like smoke in the wind. All he cared about was that he was tired and pleasantly full. He curled up next to Jack, taking an animalistic pleasure in his companion’s warmth. He nuzzled against the soft fur along Jack’s neck, reassured by his familiar scent. Koz closed his eyes and drifted easily off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody was excited for wolf shenanigans and instead I give you Jack and Koz fighting. Oh well, I gained some very useful practice in writing arguments! 
> 
> Next chapter is written, but is quite long, so the editing, beta-ing, and then final edits might take a little while. Get excited though. They're gonna leave the island and Stuff is gonna happen. :T


	3. Sounds and Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killing time can be a huge pain or a lazy delight. Sometimes it just depends on the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zero inspiration for that title haha. So this one's a little longer than usual and that's why it took a while for the beta-reader and I to finish editing. Hope you like it!

Koz felt badly for leaving Jack alone the day before, so while he was a little wary of taking him off the island when he was still so vulnerable to the change, he decided to allow a day-trip ashore. If nothing else, they needed to get some more clothes for Jack – his transformation the night before had destroyed one set of clothes already. Luckily, during his camp raid Koz had happened to grab a backpack with plenty of clothing it in, so the boy wouldn’t have to go without. However, at the current rate, those clothes wouldn’t last him very long.   
Koz swam Jack from the island to the mainland. As soon as Koz moved to stand in the shallows, Jack turned around in the water and darted up onto the beach, sending water sloshing everywhere. He flopped onto the ground while Koz trudged after him. “Land!” He cried happily. 

Just as Koz stepped out of the water, Jack sprang up from the ground. He stretched, flexing his arms and twisting his torso – every inch of him screaming excited energy.

“You’re making me tired just looking at you,” Koz panted. Bending at the waist, he put his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. The morning was cool enough that each sharp inhale brought with it a chilled burn. His toes tingled, hovering on the edge of numbness, buried as they were in the cold, wet mud just beneath the water line.

“I can’t help it!” Jack said, shivering and bouncing on his heels. “I feel like Rapunzel when she leaves her tower - I could run a mile!”

Koz was glad Jack seemed to have somewhat recovered from his brush with starvation. He’d eaten a whole pack of applesauce cups that morning and kept it down and now he was acting as lively as a spring-hare. You’d never have known how bad off he was just days ago if it weren’t for how deathly thin he still looked.

“Why don’t you run ahead then?” Koz suggested, straightening.

“You sure?” Jack asked. “What if I decide to run off?”

Koz smiled humorlessly. “We had a deal didn’t we? Until you have things under control, right?” He shrugged. “Besides, you transformed last night, odds are good you’ll transform tonight as well and it’d be much better for everyone if you were on the island.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “You and your logic.”

“Go on,” Koz said, his humor returning, “stay on the beach so I don’t lose you.”

“Alright, alright.” Jack waved him off. For a moment, Koz was reminded so much of Seraphina he felt like he’d been gut-punched. Then Jack was gone, jogging down the sand bar and leaving a trail of footprints in his wake.

His surprise at the feeling of nostalgia distracted him from the full effect. He watched, startled and numb as Jack ran down the shoreline.

Koz knew nothing about track, but he’d bet money that Jack had good form. He certainly looked good – graceful and smooth. And he was fast, although that may have been because he was now less than human.

Koz started to walk after the younger man, following his footprints through the damp sand. He vaguely remembered having fluctuations with his stamina when he first changed. Perhaps Jack was suffering from those? But Koz had had far more problems with a lack of energy than too much. Jack seemed to be suffering the opposite effect. Maybe it was their difference in age. Or personalities. Or maybe Jack really was just that excited to be off the island.

But now he’d started thinking on it, Jack was due to suffer more symptoms of the change. He thought back, trying to recall exactly when he’d had certain symptoms. They’d all started to blend together after a while. He hadn’t foreseen the need to keep track of them at the time, and so hadn’t even tried.

After the fever he’d been weak and hungry. He would have random spurts or lags in energy – which eventually became more focused into a lack of control over his strength and speed. But before that, what had he felt?

He started as he realized he’d lost Jack’s movements from his peripheral vision.

Jack was standing frozen on the beach, shoulders hunched and hands pressed over his ears. He was looking around cautiously. Even from afar, he seemed shaky and confused. When he turned to look towards Koz his face was pale. 

For a moment Koz feared the pack had returned, but then Jack’s body jerked suddenly, crumpling in on itself. He fell to the ground, letting out a strangled yelp that was promptly cut off.

Koz bolted across the beach, sand kicking up at his heels as he dashed to the boy’s side. Jack’s knuckles were white over his ears. He remembered immediately – curling up into a ball as all the noise in the world seemed to try and force its way inside his skull, overwhelming his every thought. He remembered this.

“Jack?” He knelt at the boy’s side, keeping his voice as low as he could. His hand hovering over his shoulder, afraid his touch might cause more harm than good. “You’re having a sensory attack – your senses are amplifying as you develop and you don’t yet have the control to adjust them.”

A bird took to the air some ten feet from them and to Koz it was a blip – recognized and gone – but Jack flinched away, curling over further until his forehead was pressed into his knees, gasping in pain. Koz remembered how it felt – like someone was driving a blunt nail through your skull, sounds multiplying and growing in intensity until it was an all-out assault – but unlike with conventional pain where endorphins were rushing in to take the edge off, there was nowhere for the endorphins to go, not unless his eardrums burst from the strain – which was entirely possible.

“You have to distract yourself,” Koz said, watching as tears squeezed their way between Jack’s pale lashes. “Focus on your other senses – you’re being pulled too far one way, you need to even out.” He knew his talking wasn’t helping. Jack might not even be able to understand him right now, but on the off chance he could, Koz might as well try. Jack gasped for breath, his breathing broken by hiccups and pained sobs. 

“Open your eyes,” he instructed. “Look around, focus on something else. Jack?”

After what seemed like a long time, Jack opened his eyes and slowly lifted his head. His wet lashes fluttered as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

“Good.” Koz put his hand on the Jack’s back and rubbed soft circles. Almost instantly Jack’s breathing improved. “That’s it, Jack, perfect. Just focus on me.”

He continued rubbing circles across the boy’s back, hoping that if he could force some tactile awareness on the younger man, it might pull his overloaded senses away from his hearing and pull him out of the attack.

Jack’s breathing slowly evened out. His hands loosened their death grip over his ears until he finally removed them entirely. He was shaking and pale, looking around himself fretfully as if to confirm he really was still on the beach next to Koz and not on some foreign planet. Koz remembered the feeling. Magnified to extremes, familiar sounds became terrifying and completely alien.

“Are you alright?” He asked, keeping his voice low.

Jack licked his lips and looked around fearfully. He made no motion to get up from his position on his knees, his body curled in on itself. “No,” he said at length, his voice small. “What—” he wet his lips again. “What did you say that was?”

“A sensory attack,” Koz said, voice equally soft. “Sort of like sensory overload, but different. Your senses are amplifying slowly as you change, but sometimes they can be triggered and take a big jump forward. Eventually your senses will develop so that those amplified levels are your new normal and you’ll be able to adjust what you experience

Jack was quiet a moment, breathing deeply and very, very slowly starting to relax. He licked his lips. “So there’ll be more?” His voice nearly cracked, emotion straining as he tried to keep his voice low.

Koz frowned. “Yes,” he said, “you’ll get them every now and then for the next few weeks. While you adjust.”

“Shit,” Jack hissed. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his palms over them, letting out a long breath. He pulled his hands away suddenly and looked at the dampness in surprise. “Shit,” he said in a more regular tone.

He wiped the moisture from his eyes with the back of his hands. “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to get all weepy on you.”

Koz’s eyebrows rose. “I’d be more concerned if you didn’t get ‘weepy’ on occasion, given what you’re going through.” And what he’d already been through. Jack’s rough upbringing might have had something to do with the fact that he responded to Koz’s comment with a smile that was almost convincing.

“I’m fine now, sorry about that.” He stood up and there was the briefest pause as if he were afraid another attacked would come on and then it was gone and his smile was in place once more.

“Do you want to go back to the island?” Koz asked.

“No!” Jack waved him off. “I want to get some food.”

Koz hesitated.

“C’mon,” Jack urged, taking a few steps ahead of him.

Koz bit his lip. He didn’t want Jack to brush this off – but he also didn’t want to lose the daylight. They still needed food. Besides, it wasn’t as if Jack was at less risk for attacks there than here.

“Alright,” he said at length, “but if you have another attack, we’re going back, alright?”

Jack’s smile was so dazzling it was hard to believe it was fake. “Deal!”

***

In all honesty, Jack was still feeling shaky after the attack, but he didn’t want to spend the day alone on the island again. Thankfully, it wasn’t thirty minutes before his shakes disappeared and his energy returned in full. This worked out well, since it wasn’t long after that that they found the campgrounds.

It soon became apparent that Jack wasn’t as good at thievery as Koz. The older man was quick and nearly silent, moving in between tents and lawn chairs with the stealth and caution of a wild animal. He went through the campers’ belongings quickly and carefully, putting everything back the way he’d found it. The exception to this was of course, the few items he took – and he only ever took a few things from one camp. “This way,” he explained to Jack, “the campers are more likely to think they’ve simply misplaced something than they are to realize they’ve been robbed.”

Jack was not a stealthy thief. In fact, he was quickly banned from stealing things after the third time Koz caught him playing with toys or snorting over a barely hidden box of condoms. He couldn’t help it, his sense of humor went into overdrive when he was nervous or hyper and at that moment he was suffering a double-whammy. (“Plus, who goes camping and plans on fucking?” He’d asked. “What if you got ticks on your—” “Please don’t finish that sentence, Jack.”)

He was still hopped up on adrenaline when Koz left him alone outside the newest camp they’d come to plunder. He was supposed to sit with their trash bag of stolen goods and wait out of sight, but… well, Jack was not one to obey perfectly reasonable restrictions on normal basis let alone when he was feeling so energetic.

He left their belongings where Koz would expect them to be and wandered a few yards away. He was only hoping to burn off some energy and stretch his legs, but then, quite suddenly he realized that the murmur in the distance that he’d been hearing for some time now was not the bird chatter and rustling leaves he’d come to expect from the forest.

He could hear people. There were people nearby. He turned his head this way and that, trying to catch the sound’s source. There! He locked his gaze on a distant break in the tree line. All he could see was a very bright patch of sunlight, but the voices were definitely coming from that direction.

As if in a trance, he made his way towards the sounds of humanity. The closer he got, the more easily he could hear them, the faster his pace became. There were children laughing and shrieking, the murmur of many adults speaking at once, the soft tinkle of human laughter. He nearly ran into a tree branch and grazed his ear. He stumbled over a rock half buried in the dirt. He didn’t care – he was nearly running now. There were people up ahead!

He broke through the tree line. Sunlight seemed to ram into him and he was left blind and winded and surrounded by people. He blinked the spots from his vision and found he was standing on a beach overlooking another lake. There were children digging in the sand, running around, and generally making a huge ruckus. Teenagers lay tanning or else horsing around in the water while parents napped or read in the shade of brightly colored beach umbrellas.

He knew he should ask someone to borrow their phone so he could call his mother, but he couldn’t. There probably weren’t more than thirty people there and yet Jack felt completely overwhelmed. There were so many of them!

He backed away from the beach. They were so noisy – too noisy! Even as he turned and started walking away he could hear them getting louder and louder –throbbing-beating-pulsing- and he started running because holy shit he was going to have another sensory attack and he couldn’t be near all those people when it happened!

“Jack!” Koz roared in his ear and he gasped in fear, instinctively ducking away. Only his father every shouted into his face like that and the memory had his heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with the explosion of noise building around him.

“Jack!” He looked up, terrified and was startled to see Koz wasn’t next to him – but some twenty feet away, brows pinched in concern as he jogged towards Jack.

Jack put his hands over his ears and crouched down, bracing his whole body as sound swarmed around him like a hive of angry – noisy – bees.

He forced himself to keep his eyes open. It’d helped a little bit last time when his eyes were open – but it was so hard to focus on what his eyes perceived when his eardrums were demanding so much attention.

He could see Koz was speaking to him, but all he heard were snatches of scratchy, incomprehensible wails that rose and fell in random pitch.

Something pressed on his back. It was probably Koz’s hand again. He tried to focus on it as he had before, forcing his mind to concentrate on the sensation: the heat, pressure, size of his hand, and the way it moved over his shoulder blades, firm then soft – but the feeling slipped away. Panic mounted as everything slipped away. He couldn’t feel Koz’s hand or the grass under his knees or the sun through the trees shining on his back.

He couldn’t tell if his eyes were opened or closed – couldn’t feel it, couldn’t see it – he was getting swept away by sound and then PAIN—

The world snapped back into focus.

“Ow!” He yelped and yanked his hand to his chest, pain bursting along his little finger. 

He blinked rapidly, clearing tears from his eyes and gasping as he looked down at his hand. His pinky was bent at an awkward angle and rapidly turning a nasty shade of red.

“I’m sorry,” Koz said, moving into Jack’s space. “That was the only other way I knew to break you out of it. Did it work? How do you feel?”

Jack grit his teeth and tried and failed to get his breathing back under control. “Well, my finger feels pretty fucking broken.”

“I’m sorry,” Koz said again, sounding sincere. “It’s not broken, just dislocated. And now I’m sorry again, I’ve got to pop it back in place.” 

Jack reluctantly let him take his injured hand between his own. 

He gasped sharply as Koz popped the joint back in place – another burst of agony and then throbbing soreness. Koz let go and Jack pulled his hand back to his chest. He let out a long breath and forced himself to hold it in for a moment before letting it out again.

“It’ll hurt for a little while,” Koz said, “but you’ve got a healing factor now, so it won’t bother you for long.” He watched Jack cradle his hand with concern on his face. “I’m sorry.”

Jack shook his head, distracted as he tried to calm his breathing. “You don’t have to keep apologizing,” he said.

Koz’s frown deepened. “Yes, I do. I intentionally hurt you so I’m apologizing.”

Jack wondered if Koz’s words held a hidden barb towards his father. He supposed he should have been angrier with Koz for purposefully hurting him – hadn’t he just been frightened because he’d accidentally reminded Jack of his father? But hurting his hand had worked so tremendously well that after the initial shock faded, he could only feel grateful. The soreness in his hand was nothing compared to the terrifying, painful disorientation of the sensory attack.

Jack took another deep breath and lay his hands on his knees as he exhaled slowly. “You’re forgiven,” he said.

Koz seemed a little satisfied by this. “I’m afraid we had a deal on this one,” he said. “That was your second attack, I want to take you back to the island now.”

Jack didn’t want to go back, but he also didn’t feel comfortable here. At least on the island it would be just him and Koz; familiar territory with no potential for overwhelming crowds of noisy people. He sighed glumly, “Okay.”

*

It was turning out to be quite an awful day. Shortly after they set out for the island, Jack’s boundless energy disappeared. He could hardly stand, let alone walk. Koz made him take a break – even though they were making awful time – and Jack was too tired to do much more than nibble on the blueberries Koz had stolen from a campsite cooler.

Several times Koz offered to carry him and each time he refused. He didn’t mind being carried, but he was starting to get angry with himself. This was just like physical therapy after he broke his leg. He couldn’t do the things that he should have - by all rights - been perfectly capable of doing. Maybe he was showing Koz an unattractive stubborn streak, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t ready to admit that these werewolf ‘growing pains’ were a debilitating problem.

That would mean admitting that maybe, maybe Koz was right and he wouldn’t be able to pick up his old life again. Which was unacceptable.

So Jack did what he always did: he pretended that nothing was wrong.

The closer they got to the lake, the darker the sky became. Koz kept glancing back at Jack more and more. His offers to carry him increased right up until the sun was just beginning to dip beneath the horizon. Then he just seemed amazed to find Jack still conscious. His staring was a little creepy, but Jack ignored him. They kept walking with Jack occasionally pausing to rest at a tree, taking small breaks and looking westward towards the lowering sun.

He didn’t think he’d seen the sun set since before the bite - and then it was always with the knowledge that the setting sun meant the monsters would be out soon. 

It was cool, growing cooler. The sun’s light seemed to defy the chill in the air, casting off the clouds in brilliant burst of warm pinks and oranges while peeps of periwinkle sky showed through the other side. It was beautiful and for the first time in a long while Jack allowed himself to simply appreciate nature.

Slowly, Jack began to shiver – so subtle at first he didn’t even think on it and when he finally did he dismissed it as a result of the cooling weather. Then he realized the darker the sky got, the worse the shaking became. He didn’t even feel cold. 

Koz kept looking back at him, sometimes stopping to wait for Jack to catch up and staring unabashedly in a way that made Jack feel like he was being sized up. "Are you going to make it?" Koz asked.

"I’ll be fine,” Jack said. “I just can't stop shaking."

Koz frowned – and not one of his ‘I don’t know how to express myself other than frowning’ frowns, no, this was a frown of genuine unease. "How does your neck feel?"

"Sore? Kinda itchy? I’m probably sunburned. What's my neck got to do with it?"

"It's part of the change." Koz reached forward and pulled down the back of Jack's shirt slightly. Instantly Jack felt a strange, itchy, prickling sensation roll down his nape. "You're going to change soon."

“Oh.” Jack had never felt the change come on this way. He’d always just blacked out and woke up sans clothing. “We should hurry?"

"We should."

Koz started walking, moving quickly before he realized Jack couldn’t keep up. He backtracked and took Jack’s arm, half helping, half pulling him along. The sky turned nearly purple overhead as the last sliver of sun peered over the horizon and Jack's shaking turned into full-body jerks. His legs shook out from under him and he fell to the ground with a yelp.

His whole body spasmed. He couldn’t control his neck and ended up banging his head against the ground several times, adding another pleasant layer of disorientation to the ordeal. He looked around frantically, breathing hard. "What's happening?" He cried as his body jack-knifed, flipping him over as Koz tried to grab onto his flailing body.

"You're changing," Koz grunted as he managed to get hold of Jack's squirming limbs. "You're just conscious this time."

"I don't like this!" Jack cried as Koz began running with him, heading towards the lake. He elbowed Koz square in the chin and tried to apologize, but his jaw clenched shut. He couldn't move his tongue and he gagged.

"Don't panic," Koz ground out. "Panic makes it worse."

They broke the line of trees with Jack struggling to calm himself, but his fear only grew the more he tried to stamp it down. His neck was burning so badly, the water was almost a welcome relief except that it was so so cold. 

Koz grabbed him tightly around the middle with one arm, their bag of stolen goods clenched tightly in his fist as he used his other arm for a weak backstroke. Jack was completely unaware of this. His jaws unlocked and he choked in a sharp gasp before the pain finally hit. Stabbing pins and needles threaded through his muscles, knotting into little clusters of agony at his joints.

Adrenaline rushed in, forcing the pain away only so it could resurface somewhere new. Jack gasped and choked on water as Koz struggled to pull his shifting body to the island. He couldn't stay still though, he had no control over his body. He could barely control his mind!

Everything seemed fuzzy, spinning, dizzy, agony, water, gasping, pain. Koz, Koz, help me. Help me! He tried to speak but nothing came out, his lips weren't working. His jaw hurt - his teeth hurt. Bursts of fiery agony flaring through his skull like explosions, blowing away all conscious thought—

And then it was over. Jack floated, Koz's arm trying to keep hold of his middle as he dragged him towards the island.

Jack stared up at the moon overhead, puzzled. What just happened?

Koz flipped over to walk the last few feet to the island and Jack followed suite. Instantly, his head went below the water. Before he could panic, Koz grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and hauled him up onto the island’s short beach.

Jack tried to voice his unhappiness at this tough treatment, but the words wouldn't come to him. What were words? Ha! He was almost giddy - what even were words?

Jack tottered on land on all fours. Weird. Weird? Weird.

He whined. The world seemed intense and bright and strange and fast, so very fast and Jack's thoughts were 

so

slow.

He whined again and looked to Koz, who only looked back at him, eyebrows raised. 

Was Jack supposed to say something? He couldn't remember. Couldn't focus. Couldn't think.

He whimpered. Something brushed against his leg and he jumped. He whirled around to look.

He wasn't wearing pants and his legs were furry, that seemed odd but he couldn't remember why. That was strange though, that thing. What was that thing?

He tried to grab it but his hand didn't work right and the thing moved. He circled around and the thing followed him - he did not like that!

He ran, trying to get it but he couldn't move right, he couldn't stand and his hands didn't work and all he accomplished was making himself very dizzy. Finally he tripped over his own limbs and fell in a pile.

Koz laughed. He actually laughed!

"I'm sorry,” he said, still chuckling, “I shouldn't laugh.” He snickered. “I hope I'm not this ridiculous when I change," he said. Jack didn't understand what he meant, although he knew he should have.

'There's a thing behind me,' Jack wanted to say, 'and I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be there!' But all that came out was a long whine.

"The tail takes some getting used to, but it's nothing to get distressed over," Koz said. He walked up the bank, setting down their bag full of stolen items. He sat down beneath the tree with a groan and looked at Jack.

Jack glanced around, confused and concerned. He knew Koz was good though, Koz was comfort. So he crept forward, moving unsteadily and annoyed every step by the feeling of that foreign tail clinging to his leg. He whined.

“No use crying about it,” Koz said, “you’ll just have to get used to walking that way.” Jack didn't understand, but he knew Koz was speaking to him soothingly and he appreciated it.

Koz reached out as Jack came to stand beside him. His hand was gentle and warm running along the fur on Jack’s cheek. It felt nice. Safe. Jack walked forward and, with a little maneuvering, managed to lie down beside him. 

Koz seemed a little surprised, but quickly recovered. He let out a sigh and gently stroked Jack’s head.

The tail, Jack resentfully noticed, began to wag.

"I'm sorry," Koz said.

The words were blurry, sticky, nonsensical in Jack's ears. He knew he should understand and that he didn’t was distressing, but not nearly as the tone of sadness in Koz's voice.

Jack's ears folded back and his tail stopped its wagging. 'Don't be sad,' he thought.

He wriggled and rolled over, forcing his head against Koz's chest and sending him flat on his back with an indignant ‘oof!’. Koz looked up in disbelief at Jack's head laying upside down on his chest. See Koz, don't be sad. He flicked his tongue out and licked the bottom of Koz’s chin.

Koz stared at him a moment. He snorted suddenly and then, as if he were caught off guard by the sound, he laughed outright. Jack’s tail wagged hard enough to make his whole body squirm, enjoying the way Koz’s laughter shook reverberated through his whole chest.

Koz moved to sit up, still snickering and Jack politely rolled off of him and repositioned himself against his companion. He licked Koz's hand, then curled up against his body, resting his head in his lap.

Koz snorted. “And you said I was cuddly.” He brushed a hand over Jack’s head and that traitorous tail started wagging, but Jack didn’t mind too much because Koz was petting him and it felt so nice! He closed his eyes and in a moment, drifted off to sleep.

***

Koz made the executive decision to stay with Jack on the island the next day. Much as he’d tried to keep his thievery to a minimum, it was very possible the authorities had been notified after so many items had gone missing from campsites. He reasoned it would be a good idea to wait and let any investigations die down a bit before they resumed their thievery.

To be honest, he also wanted to stay with Jack. The boy’s talkative nature and eagerness for activities was a welcome distraction from his own thoughts, even when Jack was being a pest, as he was doing so now.

“Please, Koz?”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeeease?”

“We are not going anywhere.”

“Come on, Koz, it’s so boring here! We compromised on my staying here until I get the wolf-thing under control – I’m not going to run off or anything.” Jack lay sprawled on the beach as Koz huddled under the tree’s shade.

“You don’t need to wander off,” Koz said, “you just need to be out late enough that you can’t get back to the island before you change. Last night was too close a call.”

Jack gathered a handful of sand and watched the grains fall between his fingers. “But with a worry-wort like you to help me out I definitely won’t stay out too late a second time.”

“No.” Koz crossed his arms and gave Jack his sternest, fatherly-est frown. Usually the Koz Father Glare was strong enough to send Seraphina storming off to her room to pout – but Jack was immune. He rolled over on to his back, crossed his arms, and scrunched up his face in an exaggerated scowl.

“Mocking me won’t get you what you want,” Koz said, amused despite himself.

“Maybe not but it makes me feel better,” Jack said in an absolutely abysmal British accent.

“Good God,” Koz sputtered, “I will do anything if you promise never to attempt that accent again.”

“Anything?”

“No.”

“But you said—” Jack spoke in the accent and Koz groaned.

“Tomorrow!” He said. “I’ll need to get more supplies anyway, you can come with me!”

“Promise?”

“If you promise no more accents.”

Jack frowned. “All accents? I might need to think on that one.”

“Just—“ Koz realized he was almost smiling and stopped that immediately. “Just no British accents.”

Jack narrowed his eyes in thought. “Deal.” He rolled over suddenly and hopped to his feet. “Do you think when we go out tomorrow we could look for a payphone?”

Koz’s eyebrows rose. “Payphone?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I’m assuming asking to borrow someone’s cell phone would count as ‘drawing unwanted attention’.”

“Why?”

Jack folded his arms across his chest and bit his lip. “To call my mom.”

Koz sighed as his heart sank. “Jack—“

“She doesn’t know what happened to me,” Jack said quickly, throwing his arms out. “I know things aren’t always great at home, but my mom still worries, you know? She probably…” Jack licked his lips. “She probably thinks I’m dead.”

Koz’s insides twisted. He suddenly pictured Seraphina curled up on North’s couch, those silly elves of his all jingling and bumbling around her while she tried and failed to pretend to be invested in a game on her phone and not actively waiting for it to ring. Koz swallowed as he imagined North out looking for him on the full moon while Bunny holed up with Sera – all of them pretending like they thought him showing up would be a bad thing because even if he did turn up and tried to kill them, at least that meant he was alive and well and home again. He remembered how it felt to bring Seraphina home to a house without Jo – a house where Jo would never return to – and how he was putting his own daughter through that pain.

He opened eyes he didn’t remember closing and focused on Jack standing before him, still biting his lip and watching Koz carefully.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said. “I know you’re resolved to not going home, but I… I’m not that strong. I’m not as strong as you.”

Koz took a deep breath. “I’m not that strong,” he admitted. “I just know that what I’m doing is what needs to be done. It’s more… stubbornness.”

A silence fell between them in which Koz tried and failed not to get swept away in his guilt and worry over Seraphina and Jack stared at his feet, anxiety coiling off of him like smoke.

“Let’s switch tracks,” Jack said suddenly. “We don’t have to worry about that until tomorrow so let’s just focus on today. Let’s do something - let’s have some fun!”

Koz raised his eyebrows. “What do you have in mind?” He asked.

“I don’t know!” Jack grinned, his smile still strained slightly. “Help me think of something.”

Koz could sense a ploy to cheer him up and he appreciated it, but also felt guilty. He was the adult here. Granted, Jack was legally an adult, but Koz was older. Jack should be relying on him, not the other way around.

He grasped for an activity besides fishing.

“Come on old-timer,” Jack said, his tone teasing. “What did you used to do for fun before electricity?”

Koz offered a wry smile. “Well, we’re awful at fishing and you can’t swim so that basically leaves… charades and tick-tack toe.”

Jack huffed suddenly and Koz looked at him in confusion. What had he said? Jack looked like he’d swallowed something unsavory.

“I could learn to swim,” he said.

“I’m sure you could—”

“I mean, you could teach me to swim.” Jack blanched. “It wouldn’t be particularly fun, but it would be something to do and…” He let out another huff. “And whether I go home or not it’ll be useful if I can keep this place as an option on my list of safe-zones for when I go all wolfy. I figure it’s a good idea if I can get here on my own.”

Koz nodded. “Yes, it would be a good idea.”

Jack frowned at the water, then turned to Koz, forcing a smile. “Plus, I know from experience, if anything goes wrong, you do know mouth-to-mouth.”

Koz smirked and stood up. “Alright,” he said, pulling off his shirt.

He pulled the garment over his head in time to catch Jack looking away. He caught a whiff of some strange smell in the air that vanished before he could fully catch it. It wasn’t fear, but it did fizzle a little like the scent of fear did. Before he could ask Jack if he was alright, the young man was hurriedly, pulling off his own shirt. Koz dismissed it – he’d figure out what the scent was later.

They both stripped down to their boxers (or rather, boxers Koz had stolen from some unknowing campers), then Koz led the way into the water.

He debated how to start teaching someone how to swim. He couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know how to swim. He’d taken Seraphina to lessons when she was young, but he’d spent most of that time thinking how cute she looked, praying she wouldn’t drown, and mentally chiding her for not paying attention. Still, he tried to remember all that he’d subconsciously picked up from watching her learn and went from there.

Any qualms Koz may have had about using techniques meant to help four-year olds learn to swim were negated when the simple act of getting Jack to put his head under the water proved surprisingly difficult.

“You know you don’t need to be afraid.” Koz said, clinging to patience. “You can stand up here, you won’t drown.”

“I know,” Jack said through grit teeth. “I just… have a thing about water.”

“I noticed.” Koz said. “Bad experience?”

“I left my little sister alone in the tub when she was a baby. She was fine but then my dad got um… creative with the punishment?” Jack let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “Please don’t ask about it.”

Koz pursed his lips. A child should never have been responsible for the wellbeing of a baby, he thought disgustedly. Why hadn’t Jack’s father been the one to look after her? But he pushed his anger aside. Jack had honored him by willingly revealing such a personal thing, he could respect his wishes and not pry further.

He squeezed Jack’s hands – they always held hands with the children at Seraphina’s swim class – maybe comfort was part of the reason why. “Try again. I’ll even let you cheat and hold your nose if you like.”

Jack let out a shaky breath and a half-hearted attempt at a pandering laugh – then quickly dunked his head under the water.

He came up almost immediately, but Koz was willing to take any small victory.

“Well done,” he said. “Let’s try floating.”

*

By evening Jack and Koz had passed through the eye of hell and were apparently emerging unscathed.

They’d first been driven by optimism, then stubbornness, then frustrated rage, and now finally, a sense of triumph. Jack held one of Koz’s hands as he performed a one-armed doggy paddle, his would-be swimming instructor walked along by his side. It was graceless and a far cry from being able to swim to and from the shore, but they were damn proud of themselves.

Koz loosened his grip on Jack’s hand and Jack let him until he’d let go entirely. Koz drifted ahead, smiling like an idiot while Jack swam along behind him. They circled the island one last time before Koz slowed to a stop.

Jack reached out for him as he stopped as well. Koz took his hands and let himself get sucked into the light of Jack’s grin.

They were both sunburned and hungry, but in that moment, Koz found he was actually happy. The setting sun cast pink and orange light across the water. Jack’s sun-kissed skin made his white hair stand out like a halo and Koz could see for the first time, an array of freckles splashed across Jack’s cheeks and wow, his face was really close to Jack’s – like close enough to see the swirls and fractals in Jack’s stunningly blue eyes – and then Jack’s pale lashes slid closed and their lips brushed.

Jack’s lips were soft and warm and it had been so long since Koz had kissed someone like this that he didn’t even think how he shouldn’t, he just let his eyes slide shut and pressed his lips against Jack’s. He lost himself in the feeling as Jack’s hands gently came to rest on his chest.

Koz breathed deeply through the nose and let out a small gasp of surprise. Jack smelled amazing. It was the same scent he’d caught briefly when they were stripping earlier, but now it was far, far more intense: a deliciously pungent, spicy-sweet, musky smell that seemed to fizzle its way through Koz’s body before bursting like fireworks beneath his stomach.

Jack’s tongue slipped coyly against his bottom lip and Koz nearly purred with approval, tilting his head to give Jack better access as he slipped his tongue. Jack tangled his hands in Koz’s hair, his fingernails scraping pleasantly along Koz’s scalp.

Koz wrapped his arms around Jack’s lower back, palms sliding over warm skin and grasping tight to his hips. Jack’s tongue slid against his and for a moment Koz imagined skimming his hands down onto Jack’s ass, grasping him by his thighs, hooking his legs around his waist, carrying him back to the island - fucking him senseless on the beach.

Each inhale brought that same scent searing through him, urging him on – yes! Yes!

Koz could feel how heavily Jack was breathing as their bare chests pressed together. Their hips ground together and Koz moaned. Wet boxers, it turned out, felt like nothing. He could feel Jack half-hard against his own erection.

Jack pulled away with a groan. “Fuck.”

Koz pulled him in again immediately, claiming his mouth in a sudden biting movement before slipping his tongue in through plush, unresisting lips. Jack tugged on his hair and he growled before he realized the pinpricks of pain were traveling lower, forming a familiar ache on the back of his neck.

“Shit.” Koz pulled away, wide eyes meeting Jack’s.

Just an arm’s length of distance removed Koz enough from Jack’s amazing smell that his surprise at almost transforming managed to jump-start his common sense.

“Oh, shit.” He let go of Jack’s hips and Jack’s arms slipped from his shoulders, his sunburned face turning even redder.

“Oh,” Jack said, his expression of mortification identical to Koz’s.

“I’m sorry!” Koz could feel himself blushing up to his ears. “I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s fine. I reciprocated. I even… hoooooooo—” Jack ran both hands through his hair and looked away.

“Still, I’m the older one here. That was inappropriate of me. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again—”

“—oooooooooh-boy.”

“Not that it was bad, I don’t want you to feel badly. I just—“

“We probably shouldn’t!”

“Exactly!”

“So—”  
Silence hung between them as they both grappled with what to say next.

“Why don’t I go for a swim and you go get dressed?” Koz said, his voice embarrassingly high and absurdly chipper.

“Perfect!” Jack said with much enthusiasm. “Just what I was thinking. Hey! Don’t be surprised if I’m asleep when you get done with your swim ‘cause I’m super tired!” Jack hurried towards the shore, moving clumsily through the waist-high water.

“Yep, me too!” Koz said, wishing he could sink to the bottom of the lake. “Super tired!”

“Good night!” Jack said, his tone nearly hysterical.

“Good night!” Koz said back, voice equally shrill before he turned and around and dunked his head under the water, praying for a spontaneous freshwater shark attack to end his mortification.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. So I wanted to make this shorter and my beta-reader was like 'All of it seems important. Maybe you could move the kissing to the next chapter?' and I very firmly said no to that. You guys have waited long enough! Enjoy really passionate kissing and then painful awkwardness. 
> 
> Next chapter you can expect a change of scenery! This arc is definitely longer than the last one, so I'm sorry if it feels like it's off to a slow start. Thanks for reading!


	4. Field Trips and Office Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After struggling for so hard and so long, Jack and Koz finally leave the forest.

Jack didn’t spend the night consumed with lust per se, but he certainly spent an inordinate amount of time listening to Koz’s breathing, wondering if he was awake.

Jack managed to suppress a grand total of three erections by will power alone. The morning found him exhausted and full of ironic pride (but actually more sexual frustration than anything else). He was a little relieved when Koz suggested they go get some supplies. Another day alone with only so many feet he could possible keep between them sounded like a nightmare.

Sort of like swimming over to the bank with a nearly-naked Koz holding onto him (equally nearly-naked) the whole way. They came to a pathetic agreement to keep their shirts on under the mumbled excuse that they were both sunburned enough from the day before - but it was still a lesson in self-control. Jack survived the swim over by thinking of Smeagol - his go-to cool down image.

Unfortunately Smeagol betrayed him - as Smeagol was prone to do. The image flew from Jack’s mind after they reached the bank when Koz attempted to wring water from his shirt. Jack got an eyeful of smooth, olive-toned skin and the lovely dark circles of raised nipples as Koz fanned the sheer white material against his chest.

‘Yum,’ he thought.

If Jack’s brain were a person, he would have slapped them. ‘Shut up and think of Smeagol!’ He scolded himself.

*

“Are we seriously doing this right now?” Jack’s mind was abruptly pulled from the gutter when Koz lead him to one of the nature reserves’ parking lots.

“Didn’t they ever steal a car on Teen Wolf?” Koz asked, a hint of a smile on his face as he strode confidently onto the asphalt.

“I regret telling you about my love of Teen Wolf.” Jack sighed.

“Not yet you don’t,” Koz said with a dark grin. “Stand guard at the front of the car. Try to look… bored - impatient - like you’re not stealing a car. If someone’s coming I want you to uh… Sneeze? Yes, sneeze very loudly, then make yourself scarce.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t sound conspicuous at all.”

“It’s only conspicuous if you act conspicuous.” Koz said, stalking between the cars and casually checking if any of the doors were open.

Past a pair of black Honda Civics, a green Ford Taurus had apparently forgotten to lock their doors. Koz slid onto the front seat, pushing the seat back so he could get beneath the wheel.

“Holy shit,” Jack looked around the parking lot, but saw no one nearby. Just a few yards away there were campers scattered across picnic tables and kids running around a rusty playground, none of them were paying Jack and Koz any mind. “You can hotwire a car?” Jack asked. “Were you a criminal before you were a hunter?”

Koz’s voice was muffled as he spoke from beneath the dashboard. “I was a cop, remember?”

Jack had already been trying not to be turned on by Koz’s sudden bad boy side, but the mental image of Koz in a police uniform did him in. Koz was fucking hot already and adding in a uniform was just unfair.

“Hey.”

Jack whirled, heart leaping to his throat as a young man strode towards him.

The man raised his eyebrows and tipped his head to the side slightly, his expression open, curious and non-hostile. “You waiting for someone?”

“Yeah,” Jack put on his most charming smile and watched the way the man’s eyes   
alighted on his face. His gay-dar pinged.

“How about you?” He asked, stepping forward. “Are you looking for someone?”

“Meeting up with some friends,” the man said, a shy smile spreading across his features. “We’re going camping by Lindor Lake.”

“Sounds like fun.” Jack smiled and leaned in slightly, enjoying the way the young man’s eyes following the line of his neck.

“You should join us. We’ll have a bonfire and drinks.”

Jack bit his lip and pretended a wince, pulling the man’s attention to his lips. “I’m kind of here with my family,” he lied. “Rain check?”

“Yeah!”

Jack feigned a relieved smile while the young man dug through his pocket and produced a pen. “Let me give you my number in case you change your mind,” he said.

Jack stepped forward and stood shoulder to shoulder with the man, offering him his hand. Behind him, the car engine revved to life. Just as the young man finished writing his number on Jack’s hand, Koz poked his head out behind the car door.

“Time to go, Jack,” he said.

“Okay!” Jack smiled at the young stranger. “I’ll see you later maybe.” He winked, flashed those pearly whites one last time, then turned around and headed for the car, quite conscious of the young man’s eyes on his ass.

He opened the door, slid into the passenger seat, and waved at his new friend.

Then he turned to look at Koz, who was staring at him unabashedly.

Jack held up his hand. “I got his number.”

“You were supposed to sneeze.”

“I improvised.” Jack shrugged and pulled on his seat belt.

“My God.” Koz put the car in gear and backed out of the space. “Young people nowadays… I don’t know whether to be impressed or alarmed,” he said.

“Some people can steal cars, some people have mad game.” Jack shrugged and offered Koz his cockiest grin. Koz smirked back and Jack’s heart fluttered in his chest. He covered it by leaning back in his seat, putting his feet up on the dashboard. “You’re just jealous, ‘cause gay guys like me.”

***

If Koz had thought for one moment that the kiss the night before was an attempt at seducing him into letting Jack go home, the thought would have been immediately blown away by seeing Jack actually seduce someone. Jack was so smooth, if he were anyone else, he’d be slimey. But he wasn’t someone else. He was Jack - goofy and adorable and harmless. Koz didn’t doubt the kiss had simply been the result of high emotions after the intense bonding session that life and death situations proved to be.

Koz remembered the last time he’d gotten swept away by such feelings. He’d kissed Astor and Bunny had caught them. Koz gave a full-bodied shudder and resisted the urge to pound his head on the steering wheel. That memory was definitely on his list of top five memories to repress.

He’d managed to get past the awkwardness with Astor (and eventually Bunny), he could get past the awkwardness with Jack. Not that there was much awkwardness after last night. Jack seemed content to pretend it hadn’t happened. Koz was happy to oblige, so long as he didn’t have to put up with any more displays like this morning.

Jack had looked delectable when they’d walked up on the bank, his chilled nipples apparent through the wet t-shirt hugging his body. Koz had even caught a glimpse of pale hair just above the line of his shorts when Jack lifted his shirt to wring it out. And then he’d caught that scent again, the same as last night.

It was arousal, he’d figured out. He’d scented Jack’s arousal last night and again this morning. It was all Koz could do not to kiss him then and there. Thankfully, it seemed the both of them had calmed considerably since then.

***

Koz drove the stolen vehicle all the way around the woods - following a path past Claussen, heading westward on sparsely populated roads until they reached the outskirts of the rinky-dink town between Claussen and Burgess: Whitestown.

Here they left the car and scaled a chain-link fence separating the forest campgrounds from the outside world and ensuring that everyone who came to the park had to help pay to support it.

The landmarks of Whitestown consisted of a run-down, locally-owned grocery store, a Dairy Queen, a completely empty of business main street, the highway, and a trailer park.

The two found themselves at the highway, which was more or less busy with the lunchtime rush, though none were driving into Whitestown. The Whitestown exit ramp ran just by the park fence, curving up and over the highway lanes. 

They walked along the shoulder of the exit ramp. Nobody drove past them, but Jack was still more than a little anxious at the chance he might get run over. He’d already been in one car accident in his life and he didn’t care to go through it again. He made sure to stand on the other side of Koz, away from the traffic. He wasn’t taking any chances.

The north-bound ramp continued on into one of Whitestown’s neighborhoods. They left the road before this, crossing the few feet of manicured turf at the roadside before they hit tall grass. In between dead brush and trees that had lost nearly half of their leaves, Jack could see a cluster of motor homes just ahead. He followed Koz through the narrow strip of trees, past lines of lawn furniture and plastic flamingos, towards the last trailer on the lot.

It was eerily quiet and Jack felt more than a little like a trespasser. The trailer park was filthy and empty. It almost seemed abandoned or haunted and several times Jack peered into darkened windows, afraid he’d see a pale specter looming back at him.

A sudden cacophany made them both jump. They whirled towards the sound’s source and Jack laughed. The owner of one of the trailers had decorated their awning with a line of wind-chimes, each made of a different material - glass, wood, metal, stone, even one made from deer antlers - each of them rattling and jangling in the breeze.

Jack watched the glass one, admiring the way it fractured the light around it, before he realized Koz was continuing on without him.

He followed the older man to a shed behind the last trailer.

‘Shed’ was a generous term, but ‘four slabs of wood with a tin roof’ was a bit of a mouth-full. Sitting beside the shack was a chipped ceramic statue of a rather unfortunate looking caterpillar reclining on a large mushroom, a tiny ceramic book propped open on his large stomach.

“Hello Mr. Qwerty,” Koz said.

Jack started back when the ceramic caterpillar lifted its head from its tiny book and smiled. “Hello Mr. Pitchiner,” it said. With a sound like grating concrete, the caterpillar turned its head to look at Jack. “I didn’t know you were mentoring. State your name, please.”

“I’m not mentoring.” Koz cut in. “Can I have my key, please?”

The caterpillar opened its mouth, produced a brass key, and offered it to Koz.

Koz slid the key into a ragged hole in the door, gave it a very solid-looking turn and then, with a surprisingly mechanical ‘click’, pulled the thing open. Inside, the tiny, hole-filled shack was a sizeable, not hole-filled storage room. A tool-bench was lined against one wall, with shelves above and below holding everything from salt cans to wooden boxes covered in foreign markings. The next wall held a line of lockers - some of which also had strange markings carved onto their surface. The third wall was covered nearly from floor to ceiling in weapons - mostly guns, but also at least one crossbow and several very large knives.

“Woah,” Jack gasped, eyes wide.

“It’s bigger on the inside.” Koz and Mr. Qwerty said at the same time. Koz frowned, cheeks reddening slightly while Mr. Qwerty tittered.

Jack laughed and nearly skipped around the shack, marveling at the strangeness. It really was bigger on the inside!

He walked back around to the front of the shack and followed Koz into the storage locker.

There were all sorts of things in there. Some of it made sense: guns, knives, holy water. Some seemed necessary: canned goods, bottled water, batteries, money. And some of it was just strange: a scythe, a box full of what appeared to be baby teeth, and a rocking horse with a sticky note attached to the frayed saddle that read ‘ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SIT ON’.

Jack snickered at the sign, but obeyed none the less. Koz was rummaging around, putting away the old pistol he’d been carrying around since their journey began and retrieving a shiny new model from the weapon’s rack.

Jack took it all in and then backtracked. Fascinating as the storage locker was, there was a supernatural creature outside that he needed to talk to.

***

Koz picked up one of the handgun’s magazines and without thinking, clipped it in place. He stood there for a moment, like one who’d stood up only to forget why. 

His weapon was loaded with silver bullets. 

He looked down at it and thought about killing himself. It’d been his plan for so long, it was hard to turn it away. 

All he’d need to do was close the door and shoot. Only Mr. Qwerty could open his storage locker and he wouldn’t without a next-of-kin’s (or his master’s) order. But for that to happen, he’d need to tell North what happened and North wouldn’t make Seraphina come out here to open the door where her father’s body lay. Koz had been irrevocably scarred by the sight of his wife’s mangled corpse and he knew this well enough that he’d asked North to never let Sera see him if he were killed. It was in his will for God’s sake!

They were in a residential area so Jack could call for help - the police or his parents - it didn’t matter. He should write down North’s number for Jack.

Koz set the gun on the worktable and glanced around, distracted, for a pen and paper. If he wrote a letter asking North to look after Jack, he was sure North would do it.

But that wouldn’t be fair would it?

Hadn’t Koz decided not to kill Jack because he was afraid he only wanted to kill him because it was convenient? Because he had accidentally disrupted his plans? What if he was doing the same to himself? Was Jack right when he said Koz was giving up?

He let out a long breath and put both hands on the worktable; the gun lay innocently between his spread fingers. He couldn’t go home, he knew this. It was only a matter of time before he got loose and hurt someone if he stayed in their midst. If he couldn’t stay and live with his daughter, then he’d prefer to die. But what about Jack?

Jack still needed him. He could hardly ask North to look after him. He’d already left Sera in his care and it was a little detrimental to kill himself to keep Seraphina safe from werewolf attack and then drop another werewolf in his place. He couldn’t leave Jack alone, Jack still needed him.

He couldn’t kill himself for Jack’s sake and he couldn’t go home for Sera’s. He let out another breath and didn’t breathe in again, letting the aching emptiness fill his lungs.

Maybe leaving Sera and not dying was good. Living could be his penance for abandoning her. All the pain she was going through now, and later - when she finally got his letter - maybe he could forgive himself for it if he were suffering just the same.

He drew in a breath and scooped up his gun. He flicked on the safety and set it down again, pushing it away from himself and reaching for his holster.

It would have to be enough. Miserable as he would be, he couldn’t kill himself and he couldn’t go home.

*

“So you watch Doctor Who?” Jack asked Mr. Qwerty.

“The lady in that dwelling watches Doctor Who and luckily for me, she is hard of hearing.” The chubby caterpillar smiled up at him with watery-looking eyes.

He peered inside the storage room and saw Koz set a handgun down on the worktable and push it away from himself. Jack bit his lip. He was as much a fan of guns as he was of hurting people, but he supposed it was only a matter of time before they ran into Jamie and his pack again. He watched Koz pull a leather holster from a peg on the wall and slip it around his shoulders. He put the gun in one holster, loaded a second gun, then put it in the other holster.

Jack’s eyebrows quirked in confusion as he caught sight of his companion’s dark expression. He’d been fine just a few minutes earlier, but suddenly his shoulders were slumped and there was an alarming emptiness to his eyes.

He looked up at Jack slowly and when their eyes met, the younger man suddenly remembered Koz as he’d first seen him: on his knees, a gun to his head. “Hey,” Jack said, smiling uncertainly. “You okay?”

Koz let out a breath. “Yeah,” he said. “Fine.”

He turned to go to the lockers by the door and for a moment, Jack got a good look at his front. Concern slipped into the backseat of his mind as he noted how the leather straps framed Koz’s pectorals nicely and made the contours of his shoulders stand out.

‘Damn,’ Jack thought. ‘You are in trouble, Jack.’

Koz loaded a messenger bag with magazines, energy bars, and bottled water. There was a tin box full of cash that he emptied and another full of credit cards and various drivers’ licenses, each with Koz’s picture on them. Koz picked one that seemed to suit him, then picked out a credit card and wrote the name from the fake ID on the back.

Jack watched this, eyebrows quirked at the illegality of it all, but also a little amused by the blatant flagrancy. 

Koz pulled a jacket from a locker at the back of the room and took a pair of keys off a hook by the door. He pulled on the jacket, then grabbed the messenger bag he’d packed and slung it over his shoulder as he walked out of the shed. Jack gave the storage locker one last look before following after him.

Koz offered the storage room key to Mr. Qwerty and the caterpillar lifted a stubby arm to take it. “Don’t forget to mark the inventory sheet,” Mr. Qwerty said.

Koz’s gloomy stoicism finally cracked as his expression fell into a childish scowl.

“If you don’t tell me what you take out - I can’t get it restocked,” Mr. Qwerty chimed in a voice that was half pleasant customer service, half long-built frustration.

Koz’s jaw flexed. “I don’t want anyone to know I was here.”

Mr. Qwerty started, frowning. He blinked quickly, clearly taken aback. “That’s unusual for you,” he said.

Koz sighed and shifted his shoulders, almost like a shrug. “Will you let me fudge the dates or not?”

Mr. Qwerty narrowed his eyes, sizing Koz up before slowly replying. “If it means you fill out your inventory form, then yes.” He opened his mouth and pulled out a scroll that looked far too long to be able to actually fit in his mouth. He promptly coughed up a pen as well.

Koz leaned against the shed as he filled out the form. “They won’t clear out my storage without my consent, right?”

“Yes. Although if you do not use your storage unit for over a year, I’m allowed to obey a blood relative - and as always, if my master asks a direct question, I must answer truthfully.”

“Great, Koz sighed. “As a favor to me - don’t tell anyone I was here and don’t tell them my next of kin has control over my storage unit.”

Mr. Qwerty’s face pinched in concern. “Are you dropping out of the community?”

“Something like that.” Koz rolled up the form and handed it back to caterpillar, who promptly swallowed it. “Which reminds me. John is dead. Werewolf got him.”

“Shall I report a werewolf in the area?”

Koz jerked his head. “I’ve got it covered, but don’t say my name. Pretend I’m dead.”

Mr. Qwerty raised his eyebrows, a cartoon expression of surprise. “You’re really going off the grid, aren’t you?”

“And you’re my accomplice.”

Mr. Qwerty shrugged his tiny, ceramic shoulders. “So long as my master doesn’t ask.”

Jack looked from Koz to Mr. Qwerty and back. He didn’t understand all they were saying, but he was pretty sure he was listening to the hunting equivalent of office-talk.

“Good luck, Mr. Pitchiner,” Mr. Qwerty said.

Koz jerked his head tightly. “Thank you. Good day, Mr. Qwerty.” He started off, heading away from the trailer park.

Jack took a few steps after him before turning with a nervous smile. “Bye, Mr. Qwerty!” He waved and the caterpillar waved with three sets of hands before returning to his former position, reading the tiny book on his stomach. Once he was still, he looked like nothing more than an unattractive garden decoration.

Jack stared at him a moment before turning to see how far Koz had gotten. When he saw the man was leaving him behind, he hurried to catch up with him. He had to take an extra-step to each one of Koz’s purposeful strides, so he was just slightly breathless when he spoke. “So, somehow, even though I knew werewolves were real, I hadn’t thought that the plot of Toy Story might be true.”

“He’s a golem,” Koz said tightly, not even pausing his stride. “The rabbi who made him just wanted him to look relatively inconspicuous in a garden.”

They walked along the end of the trailer park, where the tall grass was snarled around the edge of a high chain-link fence. Falling leaves tangled in the barbed wire running along the top of the fence and a series of green tarps had been fastened to the chain-links so you couldn’t see the interior of the lot. The side of the tarps read ‘Whitestown Scrap’. 

They walked along the junkyard fence until they came to a gate secured with three padlocks. Jack was just beginning to wonder if maybe this was a bit of overkill to protect what was most likely a bunch of old refrigerators from being vandalized by teenagers when Koz produced the keys he’d taken from his storage compartment. Jack watched him proceed to unlock the three padlocks using these, his eyebrows quirked. Of course, it wasn’t just any scrap yard, it was a hunting scrap yard!

“You guys are pretty organized.” He said.

Koz said nothing. He opened the gate and lead the way inside. Jack awkwardly followed after, then stood off to the side as Koz repositioned the padlocks. Something was off with Koz, he was certain, he just couldn’t quite feel out what.

The scrap yard wasn’t anything special. It was the sort of place Jack would have loved to play in (and probably contract tetonis in) when he was younger, but otherwise boring. There were busted refrigerators, televisions, microwaves, washer and dryers, and every other appliance you could own - but mostly they were cars. Almost everything was broken and/or covered in rust.

Jack followed Koz as he walked over a dusty, gravel road towards a beat-up, navy-blue mini-van. He opened the driver’s side door and hopped in. Jack waited patiently, assuming Koz was just grabbing something. Then Koz turned and looked at Jack expectantly.

“Oh my God.” Jack’s eyes widened. He pointed - just to be perfectly sure. “That’s your car?”

Koz snorted and it was sort of a relief after the weird vibe he’d been giving off. “Are you kidding?” He said. “The gas mileage on this thing is hideous. This is a company car.”

Jack’s eyebrows drew together as he walked around the other side of the van, staring at the dinged fender. “You hunt… in a mini-van?” He popped open the door and stepped up into the car. The upholstery wasn’t quite to the ugliness level of a tour bus - but it was fairly close. He stared at the radio. It didn’t even have a CD player.

“Why not?” Koz adjusted his mirrors. “It’s inconspicuous and spacious enough to cart monster carcasses around if need be.”

‘So that’s what that smell is,’ Jack thought as Koz started the engine with a noisy rattle. “Next thing you’re going to tell me, you wear leather jackets for function, not fashion!”

Koz smirked wryly. “Leather is sturdier than cotton,” he said.

Jack groaned as Koz drove the van around the lot to a wide chain-link gate, which opened at the press of a button clipped onto his sun visor.

There was a moment of silence as Koz pulled out onto the main road, and then Koz spoke with a quiet, resigned air. “It’s also a little bit because I look cool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well happy holidays you guys! I am currently in the land that 4G forgot, spending time with my huge extended family and miniature army of very young cousins, but somehow I managed to get this thing done. Hope you guys enjoy it and your holidays/winter breaks are all fun if not peaceful!
> 
> Next chapter's gonna have some excitement!
> 
> Also: I realized while writing this that Mr. Qwerty's name is spelled using the first six letters on the keyboard. *side-eyes William Joyce*


	5. Bread and Circuses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack makes a decision. Then Koz makes another. An attempt at normalcy leads them to old acquaintances.

It wasn’t until they pulled into the grocery store parking lot that Jack realized the store probably had a phone he could use. He could call home and let his mother and sister know he was okay. His stomach knotted as he realized he had no idea what day it was – his father might be home. Jack didn’t know what might happen if he picked up.

He tried to shake the thought. Even if his father did pick up, it would be worth it to reassure his mother and sister. He only needed to shake Koz.

“I have to go to the restroom,” Jack announced as Koz grabbed a shopping basket. He didn’t really need to use the restroom, but he realized with a jolt that he could. He might just go in just to look at the toilet and appreciate its existence. God, he’d missed civilization.

“Alright,” was all Koz said as Jack slipped away. He almost felt badly for lying. 

‘Shush,’ he thought to himself. ‘That’s just the Stockholm talking.’

There was no one at the customer service office, so Jack asked an employee to borrow their phone.

“We’re not allowed to have phones on the floor,” she said, looking bored. 

“But you probably still have one on you,” Jack persisted, trying to dial up the charm. “Please?”

“My manager will take it away if I pull it out.”

Jack fought off frustration. “Is there a phone at the customer service desk I can use?”

“You can’t use it when no one’s in the office. The manager just went on lunch, so in half an hour you can use it.”

“If your manager isn’t here, then you can use your phone!”

“I’m sorry, sir,” the girl said, not sounding sorry at all. “You can use the phone by the door to call a cab, but it doesn’t make any other calls.”

“Thank you,” Jack said, sure to imply with his tone how not thankful he was. He headed for the door feeling frustrated and self-conscious. He half wanted to explain his situation to the girl – at least to make her feel bad for being so unhelpful – but he was also wary of looking like some weird homeless kid. People generally didn’t loan their phones to weird homeless kids.

Jack already felt weird enough. There weren’t many people in the store, but those that were all seemed to stare at him. He tried to dismiss it – he hadn’t been around anyone but Koz for who knew how long and he was just feeling a little unsettled. Plus he looked like a walking stick figure and he was wearing overly large clothes and shoes. Who wouldn’t stare?

‘Not that people are staring ‘cause I’m actually just being paranoid,’ he thought.

Jack walked past a line of newspapers, making for the cab phone by the door. He was debating whether or not he really wanted to take a cab and run away from Koz or just ask to use a cabby’s phone, when he realized his eyes had skimmed over something strange and did a double-take.

The Whitestown Word, the local paper, headlined: ‘Search Continues for Missing Teen’ and beneath that was a grainy copy of Jack’s school photo.

Jack stared at it a moment before he reached out and pulled the newspaper free. He was thinner than the boy in the photo and far more sunburned. He remembered the days leading up to picture day - his mother had wrestled his hair into a respectable crew-cut for the photo and given it just the barest hint of blond highlights – just so his bright white hair wouldn’t throw off the picture’s exposure. He looked like the photo if you thought about it, but he also looked completely different. Maybe, he thought, people really were staring at him.

His eyes landed on the sub-heading beside his photo, ‘Father brought in for questioning’.

Woah.

He tried to read the article from start to finish, but kept getting distracted by the strangeness of it all and his own imaginings of what the words described.

He’d been missing for almost a full three weeks. Holy crap, how was he still alive? Apparently the police didn’t believe he could have survived that long either. Their last search into the woods had involved dogs trained to sniff out corpses. They must not have gone too far into the woods, Jack mused, or they would have found the hunter’s bones.

Jack’s father had just been brought in for questioning after his mother admitted that he had been arguing with his son right before the teen’s (‘That’s me!’) disappearance.

There was allegedly a period of time after Jack left where no one could account for his father’s whereabouts and police had on occasion been called to the house on domestic dispute cases. Neighbors previously reported suspicions of domestic violence lead police to question the teen’s initial disappearance and - holy-fucking-shit-mother-of-Jesus did they think Jack’s father killed him?

He felt a little glad; his father wasn’t a murderer, but he certainly deserved to be treated like a criminal. Being kidnapped by Koz would almost be worth it if his father got treated like a murderer the rest of his life. But no, if Jack and his father both suddenly disappeared, it would destroy their family.

His father was an awful, toxic person, but he was also the breadwinner. Jack’s mom would have to work even harder than she already did. She’d be paying off Jack’s medical bills for years on top of their everyday expenses and he wouldn’t even be there to pick up the slack. Forget money, who’d be home to cook dinner? See Emma off to school and tuck her in at night?

Jack put the paper back, stomach knotting in dread. He needed to get home.

He spotted the taxi phone next to the store’s notice-board. The handle was sticky when he lifted the old phone off its hook. He put the receiver to his ear and stopped.

His eyes had glanced over the notice-board and landed on a missing person poster. He stared at the photo, incredulous, then he looked beneath and saw Koz’s name.

He’d thought his photo looked bad – Koz’s was far worse. He was smiling for one thing. His hair was neater, his chin less scruffy, and while Jack had never thought Koz looked sickly per se, there was no doubt the Koz in the photo had a certain pinky, fleshy, healthy glow about him. 

The photo had obviously been cropped from a group picture. There was an arm coming in from off-frame thrown around Koz’s shoulder. Koz had one of his arms around the shoulder of a young girl – half cut off by the edge of the picture. It could only be Seraphina, Jack surmised from the black hair and what little he could make of her face. She had her father’s nose.

A feeling tugged at his heart. Guilt? No, it was more complicated than that. Pity. Sadness. Frustration. Too many feelings to list. But certainly guilt made up a fair portion of it.

Jack swallowed. He’d always tried his best to help his mother, but at the end of the day, she was an adult. And while Jack had taken care of his sister, he wasn’t her parent. Neither of them needed Jack the way Koz’s daughter needed her father. If Jack was struggling to be away, even for a short moment of time, it must be torture for Koz to commit to never return.

Jack bit his lip. What would happen to Koz if Jack up and left? What if Koz decided to kill himself? Jack didn’t want him to die. As confusing and weird as things were between them, Jack liked Koz.

He sighed and put the phone back on the hook.

He stood there frozen for a moment, letting himself be buffeted by indecision. Was he making the right choice? What about his family? ‘I still need Koz though,’ he realized. ‘I don’t know the first thing about monsters or hunters and now I’m a monster and I’m going to have to start worrying about hunters. I still need him.’

And, he thought as he took one last glance at Koz’s missing person photo, if looking after Jack was the one thing keeping Koz going, then Koz needed him as well.

***

Koz was in the store’s rather pathetic international food aisle, debating whether or not tea would be considered an essential when Jack showed up.

The young man paused and for a moment, Koz got a wiff of anxiety from him. Then the boy smiled, taking in the sight of Koz holding three different flavors of tea.

“You look like a portrait of British-ness right now,” he said.

Koz sneered and put all three in his basket. “We’ve eaten so many hot dogs in the past few days,” he said. “I was afraid I’d lose my accent if I didn’t wash my mouth out with some decent food. 

Jack snickered and busied himself looking over all the various teas the store offered. Something seemed a little off with him, but Koz couldn’t put his finger on what. It wasn’t until they finished their shopping and were walking out the door, grocery bags tangled around their wrists like shackles, that Koz spotted Jack’s photo on the local newspaper. He glanced Jack’s way and saw Jack looking pointedly in the other direction. He paused with a soft sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I know it’s hard.”

“It’s fine!” Jack said quickly. “I still need to learn how to manage my change. I won’t be all that safe around them until then, so I might as well wait, right?”

“Right,” Koz didn’t want to argue with Jack’s desperate optimism. Maybe he was right. Maybe he could manage his change. Maybe he could be safe enough to be around his family. Koz had already given in to letting himself live - maybe he’d give in to this too.

Then he saw a missing person’s poster for himself. He stared at it a moment, dimly aware of Jack staring at him. He reached up, yanked the poster off the board, and crumpled it into a ball.

“Woah! Hey!” Jack hurried to follow him as he headed for the nearest trash bin. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to lay low,” Koz said, throwing the crumpled poster in the trash. “I can’t do that when my face is on the wall.” He couldn’t help that Jack’s face was in the paper, but he could stop at least himself from being conspicuous. “Honestly, I don’t know why they’d even make these,” he said. “I go on hunts all the time! I’ve been out-of-contact before and they haven’t put up posters!”

Koz was angry, but also frightened. Had they read his letters early? Did they suspect that he’d gone off to kill himself? Were they combing the woods for him? They’d know all the same safe-zones as he knew. Except the cabin.

For the first time, Koz was glad John had kept the cabin a secret.

“Maybe they’re worried you went all furry and hurt somebody,” Jack suggested. “Or that you got hurt?”

Koz sighed and tried to shake off his bad feelings. “Probably,” he said noncommittally. “But I’ll feel better when we get back to the cabin.”

Jack was looking at him in concern now and Koz didn’t like that. They walked out the store’s inner automatic doors, into the foyer. They passed another bulletin board and Koz glanced it over for any more posters featuring himself, but it was mostly yard sale announcements, furniture ads, and ‘free to good home’ pet flyers.

He walked passed these, Jack trailing behind, looking over the ads in more detail before he hurried after Koz.

Now that he’d permanently binned his plans to kill himself, Koz was ready to take charge of caring for Jack with renewed vigor. Mission number one in taking care of Jack was to get him back to a healthier weight. He took him over to the Dairy Queen across the street and bought him an ice cream cone.

Jack was thoughtfully licking away at his cone while Koz drove the van back to the park entrance when the boy spoke.

“We should do something tonight,” he said. “I mean besides just going back to the forest and eating and sleeping.”

“I just got you an ice cream – doesn’t that count?”

Jack groaned and rolled his head back against the headrest. “Why are you so old?”

They pulled up to a stoplight and Koz took the chance to look sideways at Jack. “I’m not going to any clubs or bars or whatever it is you ‘whipper snappers’ like to do for fun.”

“Clubs? Bars?” Jack laughed. “I have something much more immature in mind!”

“Okay…?”

“The board at the store said the circus was in town.”

Koz glanced sideways at his companion to see if he was joking. “The circus?”

“Yep!” Jack took a large bite out of his ice-cream cone, smearing it across his lips and chin and smiling cheekily. 

He wasn’t joking.

The light turned green and Koz slowly accelerated. “I’ve never been to the circus,” Koz admitted. Jack gasped in mock dismay. “I never went as a child and Seraphina hates clowns so we’ve actively avoided them.”

“Well now we’ve definitely got to go!” Jack chuckled as he took another bite from his ice-cream cone. He peeled off the paper wrapper from the cone and nearly bit through half of it, ice cream dripping onto his fingers. Koz frowned.

“I don’t know Jack, there’ll be a lot of people and it will be at night—”

“I didn’t change last night!”

Koz rapped the heel of his palm on the steering wheel. “That doesn’t mean you’re safe. You could get stressed and change.”

“I was fine the last time I changed, wasn’t I?” Jack said, “Please, Koz! Tonight is their last night in town. ”

Koz pursed his lips. “No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pleeeeease?!”

“Absolutely not.”

Jack huffed and nibbled thoughtfully on the last bite of his ice-cream cone. “Okay,” Jack said, thoughtfully. “So we can’t go to the circus because there’s too many people… but how about a smaller party?”

Koz flicked on his turn signal and slowed. Perhaps subconsciously his speed had gone down while they spoke. He wasn’t looking forward to returning to the cabin either. Which was why he indulged Jack and asked, “What did you have in mind?”

Jack held up his hand, showing off the phone number on his palm. “My friend’s party.”

Koz’s lip curled in revulsion. “Definitely not.”

“Aww, why not?” Jack pouted.

“I don’t want to go to a party with a bunch of twenty-something-year-olds,” Koz said. “Young people are fine on their own, but in groups? No. You wouldn’t like to go to a party with a bunch of five-year-olds, would you?”

“Excuse you,” Jack scoffed, popping the last bit of his ice cream cone in his mouth and crunching down on it. “I would be the life of that five-year-old’s party.”

Koz couldn’t help a snort. “You probably would, but we’re still not going.”

“There’ll probably be alcohol,” Jack said hopefully.

“You’re underage,” Koz pointed out sharply.

Jack shrugged like he couldn’t care less. “So what? You’re not.”

Koz sighed. He definitely didn’t want to go to some small party with a bunch of drunken college students. “You probably just want to go make-out with that guy,” he grumbled.

“I will admit, as the only semi-‘out’ gay boy in my small town high school, I am what you might describe as ‘desperate’—” Koz snorted. “—but I’d actually rather go, get you drunk enough that you’ll agree to let me drink, then we’ll both get drunk and eat a lot of s’mores and hang out, then leave.”

Koz sighed. Nothing about the party seemed appealing except that Jack really wanted to go – and if he was honest – the alternative was to return to the cabin where there was no television, books, or internet. He was a little worried about Jack transforming, but the risk was significantly smaller at a small party than it was in a crowded, noisy circus tent, and it would be easier for Koz to remove him from the situation if things got, well… hairy.

“I didn’t want to force an ultimatum on you, but you have two options,” Jack said, “go to the party or go to the circus.” He held up both his hands in front of him and Koz wasn’t sure if he were miming holding the options or if he’d finally realized that getting ice cream on your hands makes them sticky.

They were coming up close to the turn to get to the park and Koz was driving even slower than ever. “No to both options,” he said.

“Then I shall sing ‘I am Henry the Eight I am’ until you submit,” Jack said without missing a beat.

“Like in Ghost?” Jack hadn’t seen the original Teen Wolf but he’d seen Ghost?

“Exactly like in Ghost,” Jack said with a cool confidence that was almost sexy, “and just like in Ghost, I will win.” Definitely sexy.

Koz cleared his throat. “You’d get too annoyed first.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jack said as he started to lick the ice cream from his fingers. “I have a high threshold for annoyingness; I have an eight-year-old sister.” 

“I see your eight-year-old sister and raise you a thirteen-year-old daughter.” Yes, think of your precious daughter and not Jack’s licking sounds.

For a moment Jack seemed to give up the fight and focus on getting his hands clean. There was a tenseness in the air that said the boy hadn’t given up yet though, but maybe that was Koz’s idiotic sexual frustration. 

Finally Jack spoke. “And I swore I wouldn’t speak in British accents any more.”

It was so unexpected Koz let out a bark of a laugh. “Used up your best bargaining chip early on, I’m afraid!”

Koz turned on his turn signal and paused at a red light. They were almost to the entrance of the forest. He saw out of his peripheral vision Jack turn to look at him slowly. “Okay,” Jack said in a dangerous tone. “How about we talk about that kiss last night.”

Koz eyes widened and he turned to look at Jack fully. He’d pulled his leg up onto the seat and was resting his elbow on his knee, two fingers in his mouth. He looked at Koz expectantly as he pulled the fingers from his mouth with an obscenely wet noise. Koz’s jaw dropped and Jack smiled a sultry, dark smile.

Koz would like to have said he was a mature adult and rose to Jack’s prompting with ‘yes, let’s talk about that’ but instead he turned the car around and nearly squeaked. “Let’s go to the circus, hm?”

*  
Now that his seduction trick had gotten him his way, Jack was back to acting like an oversized child. He was practically vibrating with energy the closer they got to the circus’ location. Koz wasn’t sure if he was having another bout of high energy or if he was just excited.

The circus was in the middle of a field just outside of Whitestown. It didn’t look like a huge affair like the circuses that advertized on television, but there was a nostalgic small-town feel to it.

Koz parked in the grass in front of the large white and red tent and Jack bolted from the car.

Koz hurried to follow after. He was still kicking himself that he didn’t have the courage to talk to Jack about the kiss. He just wanted the chance to think it over first, he reasoned to himself. At the moment, he was still torn – it had been nice! He liked Jack and he liked kissing him, but it was probably a bad idea. He hadn’t picked apart the finer reasons why it was a bad idea – but that just doubly meant he needed time to think about it. 

He figured the circus might just give him the time to pause and think that the party might not have. Plus he really didn’t want to go to some party.

Although the circus was starting to look like a good plan after all. The crowd wasn’t as large as he’d feared and Jack looked happy. He seemed to realize Koz wasn’t going to join him in bounding to the big-top and quickly returned to Koz’s side, trying to suppress an adorably sheepish grin.

People were lining up to file into the tent or else stood queued at the ticket booth. There were several smaller tents outside the big top with signs designating them as ‘Petting Zoo’, ‘Face Painting’, ‘Test your Strength’, and other carnival attractions – but they had all closed down now that people were being herded inside.

As Koz and Jack waited to buy their tickets, Koz reflected on how he’d worried that Jack would have a sensory attack, and now he was a little worried about himself. He was nearly overwhelmed by all the scents in the air. There were so many and they all tangled together so that he could hardly distinguish one from another. Many he didn’t recognize at all, although there were a few he could identify offhand. Popcorn and grease, fried batter and baked pretzels and sugar all mixed together - not quite masking the scent of trampled grass, sweat, traces of anxiety, and animal smells – lots and lots of musky, unpleasant animal smells.

He resolved to buy a bag of popcorn as soon as possible – of all the food smells, it seemed the strongest and most masking.

He paid for their tickets and a clown gestured them into the circus tent with a roll of his arm and a bow. Koz eyed him warily as they went past. He’d fibbed a little when he’d implied Seraphina was the only one who didn’t like clowns.

It was noisy, crowded, and ten degrees warmer inside the tent. Koz was a little surprised there was such a large crowd at such a small venue. They barely managed to find two seats together.

They stood at the end of the aisle, ready to shuffle past a row of waiting spectators to get to a pair of seats in the middle of the crowd when Jack spoke up.

“How about you save us seats and I’ll get us snacks?” He suggested.

It was so reasonable and normal Koz almost agreed immediately – but he and Jack weren’t normal.

“I don’t think we should split up,” he said, trying to speak quietly yet still be heard over the clamor of the crowd. “If you have an attack—”

Jack let out a huff of a laugh and barely managed to suppress an eye-roll. “I’d be better off by the concession stand than I would be in this huge crowd.”

Koz shook his head. “Then I’d rather I went with you.”

Jack quirked an eyebrow. “But then we might not be able to sit together – and what if I have an attack during the show and you aren’t there?”

Koz frowned. Jack had a point there. He sighed and tugged his wallet from his pocket.

He handed Jack two twenties. “Bring me a popcorn, get as much as you like.” Jack could use the calories – he was still tremendously thin. Jack probably wasn’t thinking about this, but his face lit up anyway as he took the money and bolted down the bleacher steps with a hastily uttered, “Thanks!”

***

To say Jack was excited would’ve been an understatement. After so long stuck in the woods staving off boredom, exhaustion, and oh, yeah – ravenous werewolves – a night off was just what he needed. Plus, he’d just realized he was sort of on a date. Maybe-not-really-but sort of! Things were looking up!

That should’ve been his clue that something was about to go wrong.

The concession stand was squeezed between two sets of bleachers. Jack wasn’t put off by the massive crowd surrounding the stand. He was plotting to fulfill the last of his childhood dreams by buying and consuming a jumbo-sized bag of cotton candy – he didn’t mind a wait.

The crowd jostled him as he tried in vain to find the end of the line. A frazzled-looking girl behind the counter called out a number and the crowd shifted and shuffled around as someone stepped forward to claim their order of hotdogs and pretzels. Jack squeezed past one person after another. He felt a little overwhelmed. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be around so many people. ‘Keep it together!’ He urged himself. ‘This is no different than the cafeteria line, if you can’t hand this – how can you say you can handle the rest of high school?’

He squeezed passed a cluster of teenagers and was promptly bumped into by an irate father. He stumbled out of the crowd and into the narrow alley between the concessions and the stands - smack into a popcorn vendor. The good news was that he wasn’t carrying any popcorn. The bad news was that he was still wearing his carrying basket – which proved surprisingly sturdy to the misfortune of both boys. Jack and the poor vender fell to the ground in a heap – all the wind knocked out of them.

Jack gasped for breath, scrambling to his knees as he struggled to apologize.

The popcorn guy was faster, hopping to his feet and offering Jack his hand. “I’m so sorry,” he said, “are you alright, sir?”

There was something familiar in the earnest way the young man spoke. Jack jerked his head up. Blue eyes met brown and for a moment the two boys stared at each other in mutual shock and alarm.

“J-Jamie?!” Jack gasped.

Jamie’s head snapped around, giving their surroundings a quick glance over before his gaze fell on Jack again, brows furrowing. Then, before Jack could move, he grabbed him by the arm and hauled him away from the crowd and into the darkness under the stands.

Jack sucked in a deep breath. “Ko—!” Jamie clapped a hand over his mouth, cutting off his cries.

“Don’t scream!” Jamie said in a shrill sort of half-whisper. “I don’t want them to know you’re here!”

Jack flailed, trying to free himself but damn, the kid was surprisingly strong! Still, his kidnapping would have worked better if he weren’t wearing the basket still. As it was, the wire frame dug into Jack’s back – and undoubtedly, Jamie’s stomach, but the boy didn’t let up.

“Stop—” Jamie’s cry was cut off as Jack threw his head back, his skull colliding with Jamie’s mouth.

Instantly, the younger boy let Jack go, backing away and pressing his hand over his mouth. “Owwwie!” He groaned.

Jack wished he could say he made an impressive escape, but he felt like he’d knocked a few screws loose when his head collided with Jamie’s. Instead of running he held the back of his head, cursed profusely, and tripped over one of the stands’ support beams. He fell onto the grass face-first. But at least he hadn’t said ‘owwwie’.

“I’m sorry,” Jamie said, his words muffled through his hands. “I just didn’t want my sister to see you!”

“Really?” Jack snarled, hurrying to his feet. He felt dizzy and took a few tottering steps to a vertical beam supporting the stands. He fixed Jamie with a glare and rubbed his sore head. “A second ago you were saying ‘them’! Is your buddy the White Wolf treating you to a night at the circus or something?”

“Um…” Jamie gingerly checked that his lip wasn’t bleeding. “No?” He pointed to the popcorn basket. “I work here.”

“Oh.” Jack checked his palm to see that he wasn’t bleeding. “Sorry. Right. No-no! Not ‘sorry’, I take back that apology! What the hell? What the hell—”

“Are you here getting treated to a night at the circus with that black wolf?”

“—is wrong with you? Yes! I’m here to relax because believe it or not the last month of my life has been a fucking nightmare – thanks to you!”

Jamie seemed to shrink somewhat. “The Czar told us to watch that cabin and kill any hunters that came to use it. It was supposed to be an initiation test for us and well… we kinda messed it up.”

“So sorry about that,” Jack said, face deadpanned.

Jamie winced. In the dim lights shining between the audience’s feet, Jack could just see Jamie’s cheeks reddening. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t want to but… it’s been so hard…” Jamie put a hand up to his face, his shoulders trembled. Jack stepped back, startled and slightly alarmed. The boy was crying.

Jack felt a twinge of guilt, then a rush of anger. Why did he need to feel guilty? This boy and his family tried to kill him! It was because of Jamie that Jack was a werewolf – he would never be normal again. He might…. He might never be able to go home again!

Jamie rubbed tears from his eyes furiously and Jack’s lip curled in disgust, fists clenching at his sides. He was the one whose life was ruined - he was the one who should be crying!

“I’m sorry,” Jamie gasped, “I’m so sorry. I know everything is messed up for you and I – I helped but… My dad… he-he killed my mom and took my sister and me and we had nowhere to go and we were h-homeless for years and the Czar gave us a place to sleep and food and he told us everything was going to be okay and there was nothing wrong with us and all he asked was that we stop people who would try to hurt us.”

“By killing people?” Jack snarled.

“I don’t want to!” Jamie said, “I just wanted… I wanted to feel safe again. Do you know what that feels like? To spend years never feeling safe?”

Jack swallowed bile. Yeah, actually he did. Thoughts of his own father reminded him of Aaron, Jamie’s father. He inhaled and tried to ignore a wave of nausea at the memory of Aaron writhing on the ground - of sitting in a hot pickup truck and covering his ears and still – still – hearing the gunshot that ended the man’s life. “I’m sorry too,” he said at last. “About your dad.”

Jamie looked at him, eyes wide in surprise before he let out a wet laugh. He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “As if you don’t already think I’m a bad person… I’m actually relieved he’s gone. He was…” Jamie grimaced. “He wasn’t that great a person. Made an even worse father. My uncle was no better.”

“If that girl was your sister, then it must be hereditary,” Jack noted, assuming Sophie was Jamie’s sister.

Jamie winced and looked down at his hands, fiddling with the popcorn basket. “My sister… she was too young to remember my mom, or even what it was like to be human. She doesn’t remember what it was like before, just that we were always hungry and once a month we had to hide in the sewers while we changed, but then the Czar came along and gave us food and said we didn’t have to hide.” Jamie’s hands grew still. “It made sense to her.”

Jamie sniffed and rubbed his nose. Jack didn’t know what to say. Jamie was just the right mix of pathetic and relatable to his own situation; he was finding it hard to stay angry at the boy. 

He tried to think what he would have done if his father had turned into a werewolf, killed his mom, then turned around and kidnapped him and Emma. If he had to watch Emma grow up hungry, homeless, and still suffering under his father’s abuse – what would he be willing to do to stop that?

Jack took a deep breath. “So… things are a little complicated right now. I can’t say for sure that I forgive you. Maybe one day I will. Or maybe I’ll just grow to hate you.” He sighed. “I know a little of what you’re going through. I mean… about not wanting to be afraid. So I suppose, if you guys ever decide to leave… look me up? I have no idea where I’ll be.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But I’ll probably need the company.”

Jamie offered him a disbelieving smile. “Thank you,” he said. “Maybe… maybe one day I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“Jamie!” A voice cut through the din on the other side of the stands and both boys looked up to see Sophie standing just outside of the shadows, brightly colored uniform glaring in the circus lights. Her gaze fell on Jack and then her eyes narrowed, lips rising up over her teeth in a snarl while her green eye glowed.

“Jack?”

Jack jumped and whirled to see Koz at the other end of the bleachers. He stepped into the shadows, brows furrowed as his eyes focused on Jamie. He slowly raised his hand towards his chest – no doubt reaching for his weapon.

“Guess this is goodbye then,” Jamie said quickly, backing away.

“Yeah,” Jack started walking towards Koz, hands raised in what he hoped was a placating gesture. “See you around Jamie,” he said, half meaning it.

“Are you alright?” Koz asked as he drew near, watching the Bennett siblings over Jack’s shoulder, hand still up under his jacket.

“Just had a little chat with Jamie, that’s all.” Jack shrugged and glanced back at the two. Sophie’s golden hair fell in a curtain over her face, but Jack could tell by the way she was leaning in, hands tightened into fists, that she was giving her brother a thorough chewing out. Jamie weakly tried to shrug it off and steer her out of their sights.

“What? Did he try to recruit you?” Koz asked, putting his hand to Jack’s lower back. He gently steered Jack behind the bleachers towards their seats.

“Technically, I think it was more like I tried to recruit him,” Jack said. They crossed the circus entrance and Koz lead him out. “Wait,” Jack slowed, “Why are we going this way?”

Koz looked down at him, eyebrow quirked as if he’d just asked a bizarre question. “We’re leaving.”

Jack stopped. “What? No! This was supposed to be our fun night out!”

“And it ended the moment our enemies showed up.” Koz took his hand and tried to lead him away. Jack took a few steps before he planted his feet.

“Seriously Koz, it was a harmless conversation. He apologized for fucking up my life. I apologized for helping you kill his dad. It was magical! Almost as magical as the circus we paid to come see!”

Koz sighed like Jack was being an unreasonable child. “Jack—”

“Koz,” Jack snapped. “Please don’t make me go back to the woods. We just got here, please.” Jack’s voice shook and he hated it but he ignored it. “Please let me try to be normal for one night.”

Koz opened his mouth to speak, face drawn, when he suddenly snapped his head around, sniffing the breeze.

Jack felt his hair stand on end as a feeling of dread stole over him. He looked the same direction as Koz and saw a small group of circus performers exiting one of their trailers and approaching the back of the circus tent.

There were four men of identical height and build in skin-tight green and white suits, a woman covered in sequins spinning a pink parasol, and an enormous man in black spandex who could only be the strong-man. Leading the lot of them was a tall, thin man in a black top-hat and a red split-tailed coat, casually pulling on a pair of white gloves as he walked. His face was covered in stage make-up, but he was still obviously pale and while he appeared young, his hair was a snowy white.

His eyes glanced their way and landed squarely on them.

The bottom dropped out of Jack’s stomach. The man’s eyes were red.

He smiled at them and tipped his hat with an air of familiarity that made Jack want to vomit. Then he pushed aside the tent flap and ducked inside.

Jack looked up at Koz and found the man was pale. Jack shrank against his side and Koz’s eyes flashed down to him. For a moment they locked gazes, sharing their mutual horror in a way words couldn’t express.

Jack glanced back to where the White Wolf had disappeared into the circus tent. He felt dizzy and drew in a long breath. He’d forgotten to breathe… He looked back up at Koz. “I want to go home,” he said in a small voice.

Koz clenched his jaw, his eyes dark and distant. He put an arm over Jack’s shoulder and started leading him away. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whump!


	6. Black and White (and In-Between)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After running into the White Wolf, Koz and Jack make a second attempt to salvage the evening and end up more lost than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a whopper in terms of editing both in terms of how much there is as well as all the stuff that happens. Enjoy.

Koz checked his rearview mirror for what felt like the thousandth time. He’d confirmed long ago that no one was following them, but he couldn’t help but keep looking. His hands had stopped shaking shortly after he’d started grilling Jack about his conversation with Jamie. The answers he’d received were short and quiet. Eventually, Koz let it drop.

Now they sat in silence. The interior of the car was dark. Occasionally they’d pass under a streetlamp and yellow light would flash over the dashboard and across their still forms. They coasted to a stop at a red light and Koz’s eyes left the empty road stretching out before his headlights and glanced towards Jack.

The young man was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, staring down at the car floor. The red glare of the stoplight cast a stark contrast so Koz could hardly see his eyes beneath his bangs. Pale fingers fiddled with the laces of his shoes and he noticed that the boy’s hands hadn’t stopped shaking.

Koz turned right and started along the winding road that led to the Claussen forest park entrance. The only light to be seen now sat over a security box. An orange sign sat in the box’s window that read ‘Park Closed’. Koz drove past the turn in and kept going until he reached a different security box. This one had a sign in the window that read ‘Park Personnel Only’.

Koz parked at the gate and dug through his wallet to find the fake security pass he and the others used when they needed to do late-night hunting. He flashed the badge to an ID reader, the gate lifted, and he pulled through.

He tried to distract himself from Jack’s distress and what had happened at the circus by thinking through the logistics of getting to the cabin. It would be rough riding once he got off-road – especially in this clunker of a minivan. They might end up having to park the car in one of the personnel lots and walk the rest of the way. He knew that there was a public lake nearby, and from there they could get to the druid circle. It’d have to do.

“What’s that?” Jack said so suddenly that Koz started. The young man ignored him and pointed into the distance. Koz followed his line of vision and spotted a small speck of light shining in the pitch black between the trees.

“Probably a camp fire,” he said. 

“Definitely not troupe members from the circus from Hell, right?” The scent of anxiety wafted through the air, growing stronger as they moved closer to the light.

It was definitely the light of a fire. Koz could tell by the flickering, orange quality of the light. He squinted. From as far away as they were, he could only make out subtle shapes – triangles and moving squiggles: tents and people.

“No,” he said. “Looks like campers.”

“You can see that from here?” Jack looked at him in disbelief for a moment before realization hit. “Right, werewolf.”

Koz peered into the distance. Jack’s vision must not have started improving yet, or he would have seen what was becoming more and more clear to Koz: a bunch of teenagers gathered around a campfire, most likely getting drunk.

Koz glanced sidelong at his companion. “I think it’s that fellow who gave you his number.”

Jack visibly relaxed and the oppressive scent of anxiety lessoned, though it lingered in the cramped space.

Koz frowned. The car park he’d hoped to use might be full at this rate, and they’d have to go past all those people. He glanced towards Jack as an idea came to him. Not a pleasant idea, but better than going straight to the druid circle. “Did you still want to go?”

In the gloom, his night-vision (another werewolf perk) allowed him to see the incredulous look Jack shot him before his expression turned thoughtful. “I don’t know,” he said eventually. “You don’t really want to go anyway.”

“No, not particularly,” Koz said. “But it’s looking like we’ll be spending the evening at the druid circle, and that’s not much better.” If they went back to the circle now, Koz would spend the entire night thinking over the evening’s events, mind too busy with paranoia and stress to sleep - and if he did nod off, he’d have nightmares. After seeing those red eyes on him once more, he wouldn’t be able to avoid them. “You were right when you said we needed a break,” he said. “And I wouldn’t mind a nightcap.”

“So you’re going to be my Designated Drinker?” Jack asked ruefully.

“Well…” Koz sighed. “You are a missing person so I’m sure if we get caught up in some police raid, I’ll end up in jail either way. And you have been having what some might consider a rough couple of weeks… so I suppose I will allow you a few drinks.”

“Marry me,” Jack said. 

“Just a few!” Koz backtracked quickly, feeling his cheeks warm slightly. “Werewolf healing factor or no, you’re still recovering from nearly starving to death and I’d rather you not get sick again.”

“Any other ground rules?”

Koz frowned. “Well… since we’re are both missing persons, we should probably use fake names.”

*

Koz had wanted to invent a cover story together when they came up to the party, but Jack insisted it would be far more fun to let him take control. Their attempt at fun had already been ruined this evening, so Koz granted him the small opportunity. Jack introduced himself to Phone Number Guy as ‘Sam’ and Koz as ‘Dean’ and Koz thought nothing of it until a tipsy twenty-something standing nearby twirled around and squealed. “Like Supernatural?!”

Jack laughed. “Yeah, we get that all the time!” 

Koz had a feeling he might end up regretting letting Jack take the lead.

Almost immediately Jack got pulled into a surprisingly un-awkward conversation explaining his and Koz’s relationship (apparently, Koz was Jack’s T.A. last semester in Gender Studies – as if Koz could pass for being less than thirty). Thankfully he’d already pressed a beer into Koz’s hand by that time, so at least Koz had something to hold awkwardly while he pretended he didn’t stick out like a sore thumb.

Koz looked around himself with a scowl. There were young people everywhere. One group sat around a fire in a semi-circle, chatting and roasting marshmallows, while the kids on the other side were engaged in some sort of drinking game.

On the opposite side of the camp was a small group of couples sitting or lying on the beach, either talking sweet nothings to one another or making out in the sand.

Jack extricated himself from Phone Number Guy’s group just to laugh at him. “What? Were you one of those bookworm types who never went to any college parties?”

Koz took a sulky sip of his drink. “I met my wife when I slopped a pint of beer down her front at a pub in uni.”

Jack’s eyebrows rose as he let out a bark of a laugh. “And she just thought ‘this is it: this is my future husband.’”

Koz found himself warming to the sound of Jack’s laughter, enough to let out a small chuckle himself. “Apparently,” he said, “she told me I had to buy her dinner to make up for it.”

Jack’s eyes sparkled – from the firelight or his own entertainment, Koz didn’t know. “Wow, she sounds smooth,” he said in an impressed tone.

“Like silk.” Koz swirled the contents of his drink. It’d been a long time since he’d talked to someone about Jo other than discussing the manner of her death. It felt nice.

“So how about you?” He asked, “big party go-er? You don’t seem like a homebody to me.”

Jack shrugged. “Not a homebody - but I wasn’t in this kind of crowd. I was trying to get a track scholarship so I didn’t mess around.” He tapped his fingers along his bottle. “I was also a little worried if I drank any form of alcohol I’d like… Animorph into my dad.” He shrugged.

“Ani-what?” Koz shook his head. “Never mind, sorry. Continue.”

Jack flushed, pleased or embarrassed to have Koz’s attention. “When I got done with all my physical therapy all my friends had started college and they wanted to throw me a party. They were drinking and I already felt like the odd one out because I hadn’t graduated on time ‘cause of the accident, so… Yeah, I totally got peer pressured into it.” He shrugged again. “Nothing bad happened. I played beer pong.” He took a sip of his drink.

Koz didn’t know what to say to that, so instead he took another sip of his drink and asked: “So what is ‘Animorph’?”

Jack slowly lowered his glass, a smile forming on his lips. “My God,” he said. “Let me tell you about Animorphs.”

*

An hour and several drinks later, Koz had been briefed on the entire plot of Animorphs, then Avatar (blue people, not the Last Airbender (whatever that meant)), then the Star Trek reboot films. They’d also discovered a mutual love of the original series and a mutual concession that Chris Pine was damn fine.

Koz decided to cut himself off when he started to think he’d give Animorphs a read.

He watched quietly as someone set up a cordless boom box and loud music started playing. He glanced nervously at Jack, worried he might have a sensory attack and mentally prepping lies to excuse themselves in the event that he did, but Jack seemed perfectly fine. He was tapping his foot to the beat actually, watching as some of the others broke off to start dancing.

The boy turned to him, mischievous smile already in place.

“No,” Koz said.

Jack’s jaw dropped in mock dismay. “I haven’t even said anything!”

“You were going to ask me to dance. The answer is no.”

Jack put on an exaggerated pout. “Who said I was gonna ask you to dance? Maybe I was going to say I wanted to go dance alone.” He stuck out his tongue and Koz sneered at how childish it was.

Like magic, Phone Number Guy materialized at Jack’s side. “You wanna dance?” He asked, face flush with embarrassment and alcohol.

Jack turned to him, his smile near blinding. “I’d love to!”

The boy took Jack’s hand and led him into the throng. Jack looked at Koz over his shoulder and waggled his eyebrows. Koz rolled his eyes and went to go find a place to sit. 

Unfortunately, most of the good sitting spots were occupied by groups chatting or couples making out. He ended up standing awkwardly off to the side, reminded suddenly of how little he belonged here without Jack next to him. He watched as Jack and his new friend swayed to some noisy, throbbing music, not quite aware of how deeply he was frowning.

Jack moved gently, still holding his drink in one hand. Koz watched the delicate movements of his wrist as he kept the drink from spilling, contrasting sharply to the slow, tipsy thrust of his hips as he swayed which was just—

Koz looked away, flushing. It was very sexual. Koz would’ve sworn dancing wasn’t like that when he was Jack’s age. But then, the first time he’d ever danced with Jo had probably been at their wedding, and there were several centuries between the waltz and whatever it was Jack was doing with hips - and Koz was staring again, but he was finding it hard to look away and was just drunk enough that he couldn’t convince himself not to.

He’d had a hand on those hips once. God, why had they decided that was a bad idea? He watched the way Jack casually rolled his hips and imagined putting his hands on that narrow frame, how lovely it would feel to have him rock back against his pelvis and then—

And then Phone Number Guy did just that! He was grinding on Jack! That’s what Koz wanted to do! Something restless moved under Koz’s skin. His whole body tensed and he clenched his jaw so tightly his teeth ached. He could feel the beast pacing within him him; a territorial rage bubbled beneath his skin, urging him to maim his rival and claim what was his.

It was all he could do to simply walk over, grab Jack’s wrist, and pull him away and not rip Phone Number Guy a new one for touching his Jack.

He stopped. He’d towed Jack to the edge of the camp, just by their car. It was quieter, easier to think and – oh, God, he’d just thought of Jack as his. He flushed. It felt as though the wolf in him was snickering at his distress.

‘This is your fault,’ Koz thought to that part of himself ‘you bring out the worst in me’. He turned to Jack to apologize and realized he was still holding the boy’s hand. He tried to pull his hand away, but Jack didn’t let go and he ended up tugging the younger man towards him.

Jack stumbled right into him and before Koz could react, the younger man had grabbed a hold of his jacket lapel and was tugging him down and kissing him. For an instant Koz thought about pushing him away, but then Jack’s tongue flicked out and over his lower lip.

What had he been thinking of? He couldn’t remember. Jack started doing some ungodly thing with his tongue and he was doing it to Koz’s tongue and it was wonderful, but Koz couldn’t really think straight.

And he smelled good! Good God, did he smell like Heaven!

Koz cupped the back of the young man’s neck and changed the angle of the kiss, deepening it and earning a soft moan from Jack as his reward.

Jack’s hands traveled lower on his chest, his palms rubbing the fabric of Koz’s shirt against his skin, the friction making each stroke more sensitive that the last – but still leaving him aching for more. Then Jack’s hand slipped under his shirt and the distant heat of him was laid bare, naked electricity sparking from each gentle fingertip as he trailed one hand up Koz’s front while the other slipped around his waist and traced long circles across the small of his back.

Koz groaned softly, reaching his left hand down from its place at Jack’s lower back and placing it firmly on his ass. Gripping him firmly, he ground against him.

Jack pulled away from his kiss to draw in a sharp breath of air and Koz nipped along his jaw, pleased to draw such a reaction. The hand resting on the small of his back reached up, the sensation dulled by Koz’s jacket. Jack trailed his hand along the back of Koz’s neck to cup the curve of his skull and grab a fist-full of hair.

Koz hissed against Jack’s jaw and then let out a low, needy keen when Jack reached forward suddenly and bit into the soft skin of his neck. The younger man’s hand reached up and took one of Koz’s nipples between pale fingers, squeezing insistently.

Koz growled and ground their hips together once more. The angle was such that Koz could feel Jack’s erection digging into the soft space between his legs and he ground against him again.

Jack sucked on the patch of skin he’d bitten, fingers rolling and pinching Koz’s nipple and Koz found himself enjoying the other’s boldness. He almost felt as though he wouldn’t mind it if they hopped in the back of the van and Jack fucked him senseless. That sounded amazing actually.

Jack pulled away from his neck and sucked kisses along his jaw, nosing his way across his cheek. Koz angled his head to the side to allow him more room. Jack paused and moved back to look Koz in the eyes. 

For a moment their eyes met and they stood there, panting and aroused. Koz wanted to kiss him again. The scent of Jack’s arousal was consuming his senses – it was all-encompassing like a sensory attack, but where there had been pain there was only pleasure now. He could hardly think straight beyond his desire to fuck or be fucked by this incredible, gorgeous, delicious young man before him.

He tightened his grip on the back of Jack’s neck and pulled him in, hungry for another kiss.

The hand on his nipple pressed flat against his chest. His lips ghosted against Jack’s for a second and then Jack spoke. “Wait!”

The hand at his chest pushed against him as Jack retreated.

Koz’s hand trailed up from Jack’s ass to his waist, trying to hold onto him while he pulled away – his hand leaving the back of Koz’s neck so his shirt slid down his torso like a falling curtain and that – that was what broke the spell.

Koz yanked his hands away from Jack and took several steps back. “We just did that—”

“For the second time.”

“—again!”

Jack let out a bark of a laugh and shifted his weight and Koz knew it was because of the erection straining against his pants and making him uncomfortable - he was having the same problem. He ran both hands through his hair and looked up at the forest canopy, blush just barely visible in the dim light. “Do you think we might be attracted to each other?” His tone half uncomfortable humor, half desperate sarcasm.

“I think we can safely say there’s a distinct possibility.” Koz replied, letting the sarcasm fall between them like a shield against embarrassment. He shifted his weight and winced as his engorged dick pressed against the inside of his zipper.

“Sorry,” Jack said, “this time was my fault, I totally—”

“Well it was my fault too,” Koz cut in, “I should’ve stopped it.”

“And I’m a little drunk—”

“I’m also drunk, it’s fine, we just—” Koz held up a hand as if to scold himself. “We should not do that again. It’s a bad idea.” He drew in an exaggerated breath and then let it out again in a deep sigh. His head felt a little clearer and the heat thrumming under his skin died down to a muted warmth. “We should go. The druid circle isn’t too far from here.”

Jack nodded jerkily and followed along quietly as Koz led the way through the trees. 

They moved parallel to the bright, noisy beach. The light and noise followed them, enticing, but like the warmth that had coiled under Koz’s skin, it faded as they moved further into the trees. They came to a stream, just barely lit by the crescent moon. Koz lead the way, following the water deeper into the forest.

Jack stumbled behind him and he remembered that the younger man hadn’t yet developed his night vision. He paused and reached back to take Jack’s hand in his. The heat in him flickered to life again and he tried to ignore it. It was just the alcohol – trying to convince him to do something he knew he shouldn’t.

“Why is it a bad idea, again?” Jack asked suddenly and quickly, like he was trying to get it all out at once.

Koz could smell his anxiety and he well understood its cause. This was a thing they were previously not talking about and with just that question, they were now talking about it – and what they were talking about might very well change what lay between them.

“Well,” Koz sought for one of the many reasons he was certain existed and tried to ignore how warm Jack’s hand felt in his. “I’m fifteen years older than you for one thing. I was losing my virginity when you were learning to crawl.”

“I don’t really think of it that way.” Jack said, “I think it’s more like – you’ve been training all my life on how to please me sexually.”

Koz sputtered, but he was far more amused than indignant.

Jack let out a stifled laugh. “I feel like that excuse is crossed off the list, what’s the next one?”

“Besides the age gap?” Koz sobered somewhat as he thought. “Well, you’re in a vulnerable position right now – more so than I am – and I’d hate to take advantage of that.”

Jack thought on that. “Considering how you’re the reluctant one here, I‘d say you’re pretty free of guilt right now.” He shrugged. “But I suppose it’s also unfair of me to pester you into anything.” There was a long pause and Koz thought he should speak, but Jack continued. “You think I’m vulnerable but you’re vulnerable too. I don’t want to pressure you into making any decisions on my account. I mean, do whatever makes you comfortable.”

Koz fell silent. Jack’s hand was warm in his but in the darkness beneath the trees he also felt a million miles away.

Something in Koz was a little disappointed that Jack was backing down so easily. He supposed his disappointment was proof enough that he wanted more with Jack. It’d been a long time since he’d pursued someone romantically. Well… he wasn’t sure if he wanted Jack romantically. He liked Jack, certainly, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to build something from that. He hadn’t tried to actually build a relationship since Jo.

He was definitely interested in a sexual relationship with Jack, but a purely sexual relationship was out of the question. If for no other reason than his own conscience: he’d really feel like a dirty old man if he pursued Jack only for sex. 

He supposed he could maybe have a romantic relationship with him. He liked Jack on a personal level and certainly wasn’t against the notion of trying to deepen that sentiment – especially if it meant guilt-free make-out sessions. And now he was back to feeling like a dirty old man.

“I think,” he said, “we should hold off on any sort of relationship or relationship discussion until we’re… settled. Things are complicated enough right now – for the both of us. We should probably get ourselves more organized before we do anything that might complicate things further.”

Jack’s shoulders slumped slightly. “That’s very mature and intelligent,” he said. “I hate it, naturally. But you do have a point. We are what some might refer to as ‘a mess’.”

Koz snorted.

“So… rain check?”

Koz nodded. “Rain check.”

There was a moment of quiet between them as they walked. The frogs, crickets, and night animals filled up the silence between them with their noise. Smooth river stones clacked against one another as they stepped over them. The creak babbled softly next to their feet, soaking the edges of Koz’s shoes.

“Well!” Jack’s voice cut through the quiet suddenly. “On a related topic – but obviously switching subjects in a totally not awkward way – I am curious bout fifteen year-old Koz getting his cherry popped! Care to elaborate?”

Koz let out a helpless laugh. He supposed that would be a good way to diffuse some tension. “Alright,” he said, “I shall tell you of my awful and wonderful sexual début with my astonishingly sexy classmate, Henry.”

“Oh!” Jack grinned. “I can already tell I’ll like this.”

*

Gradually the two weary travelers grew quiet. By the time they reached the druid circle they were both too sleepy to do anything but drop to the dewy grass. They curled together for warmth – and they were not quite spooning because Koz was tired but he was also fairly sober by now – but they were also kind of spooning because Koz was sleepy and Jack was warm and soft and smelled nice.

Koz closed his eyes, feeling pleasantly numb – too tired for concerns about the pack to take hold in his mind. He breathed in deeply and let the smells of damp earth, dewy grass, and Jack sleepy beside him lull him to sleep.

*

He woke suddenly, with no idea of what had woken him but a deep, rising sense of dread. 

It was nighttime still, but the forest was eerily quiet. Koz could distantly hear the familiar chirp of crickets, the croak of frogs, and the various rustles, shrieks, and groans of night animals and their prey – but that was far off. Nearby, there was nothing.

Jack’s eyes opened next to him and he sat bolt upright, eyes wide and fear coiling off of him in an instant. “Koz?” He whispered, his voice layered with unease.

The hair was rising up along the back of Koz’s neck as he sat up as well. “I feel it too,” he said in a quiet, even voice. 

The underbrush rustled in the distance and Koz stood slowly. Jack jerked to stand beside him. The frightened boy glanced from Koz to the brush and back again. 

The rustling drew nearer and Koz pulled one of his guns from its holster. He held the weapon downward in both hands, ready to raise it and fire if need be.

A pack of wolves was coming towards them. Koz couldn’t quite see them yet, but he could smell them, and he could tell they were fresh from a kill; the scent of blood was sharp on the breeze. He hadn’t yet had enough experience to distinguish between different bloods – but he could tell it wasn’t from other werewolves and the thought made his stomach turn. Had they killed an animal for the thrill of it or had they maimed some poor human?

Koz was surprised when the first creature to appear was a man. He recognized him as the man from the circus – the White Wolf – and his hackles rose. The White Wolf-man was naked, lean and pale as the moon, followed by the rest of the pack. 

For an instant, he seemed strange; a naked man standing amongst a crowd of enormous wolves – but this feeling vanished quickly. The man was just as beautiful and dangerous as the beasts around him, his nudity made him seem all the more fae-like – a monster in human skin, at home amongst the beasts and the wild. This did little to assuage Koz as he felt the wolf in him practically squirming to get free and crush the alpha’s throat between his jaws.

Jack stepped closer to Koz’s side and for a moment, the scent of his fear distracted Koz from his murderous intent.

“Don’t worry,” Koz said, partly to reassure Jack, partly to reassure himself. “They can’t enter the circle if they mean us harm, and if they enter, then they don’t mean to hurt us.”

Jack looked around, his eyes not quite finding the gathering pack. “How many are there?”

Koz watched as the last of the wolves gathered around, then a handful of werewolves in human form followed after – some clothed, some not, ranging from teenagers to an old man.

“Several,” he said finally.

Leading the parade, the White Wolf-man stopped just before the druid circle – not quite close enough for it to exert any magical resistance.

He was looking at Jack in this strange, half-pitying, half-loving way, like he was his own helpless child who had wondered far from home. It made Koz’s blood boil. He took a step forward and slightly in front of Jack, forcing the White Wolf to move his eyes to him and God, that wasn’t where Koz wanted to be because those eyes were the same as thirteen years ago when he’d killed Jo – when he’d – he’d—

Koz grit his teeth, yanking his thoughts away and forcing himself into the cool, black and white thought process of a hunter. He wasn’t going to appear weak in front of these animals.

“Evening,” he said, trying to gain some semblance of control over the situation.

“Morning!” The White Wolf replied. His voice was soft and pleasant – he even looked pleasant! Pale hair swooped back in soft curls, curving around his head to be cut short. A few locks had slipped free of his kept-back look and hung from his temple and forehead in a way that was… pleasant. It pissed Koz off all the more.

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” Koz asked.

The White Wolf smiled and it was upsetting because he was handsome and he shouldn’t be! Koz wanted him to be as ugly on the outside as he was inside! “I spotted you at the circus, but we didn’t get a chance to introduce ourselves. Luckily, we have a common friend – Jamie.” He gestured toward the wolves sitting around him and Koz spotted Jamie next to his sister. She was glaring at Koz, but Jamie was looking away, eyes distant. Koz got the impression that he wasn’t entirely there at the moment. He probably would be too… they both had blood on their muzzles.

“Jamie reminded me of the poor impression I must have left the other night, so I wanted to come smooth things over.” The White Wolf did a shallow bow. “I am Manfred, but you can call me Manny. Now, Jamie told me about his little friend, the white pup – Jack, is it? I’m glad you survived my bite.” He said it so sincerely - so unapologetically. Koz’s stomach turned. “You—” Now Manny pointed to Koz. “—I do not know. But you seem to be a hunter.”

“That’s right.”

Several of the wolves at Manny’s feet bristled. Jack edged closer to Koz as dozens of pairs of glowing eyes glared at him, some frightened, some angry. 

Manny hardly blinked. “I didn’t turn you.” Manny shifted his weight and put his hand on his hip, gesturing casually. “You know how it is – sometimes you bite people and you don’t remember it the morning after! But I take care to only approach hunters when I’m sure to remember it and I don’t remember you.”

“I was bitten by a rogue,” Koz said through grit teeth.

“A rogue!” Manny clucked his tongue. “They’re troublesome for our kind as well. For example – you are a rogue and you killed two initiates, a lieutenant, and left another lieutenant so damaged, I had to abandon him.”

“The one that got shot in the head?” Jack breathed, then flinched as he realized he’d spoken out loud.

“Yes, him, Jack!” Manny said. “I’m a firm believer in the law of nature: survival of the fittest and all that – and, well… he wasn’t fit anymore. Not like you two!” He smiled. “You two have proven you’re very capable! I’ll admit I had more intent than just coming to say hello this early in the morning – I also wanted to ask if you had any interest in joining my lovely troupe.”

Koz couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “You ruin lives and kill people! You-you’re a monster! We don’t want anything to do with you!”

Jamie seemed to shrink beside his sister. A few of the human-shaped werewolves at the edge of the crowd shifted uncomfortably. 

Manny sighed with mock dismay. “Hunters always say such things about our kind – but isn’t the same true of humans? Let me tell you a story. You’re a hunter, aren’t you? Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: A camping trip gone awry. A child wanders unknowingly into a wolf’s home and is bitten. It doesn’t really matter what happens to the rest of the campers, maybe they all lived and maybe they were all torn to shreds! But most importantly, the child survives.

“He heals with supernatural speed and his parents are too thrilled at the miracle to wonder how and why. Then comes the night of the full moon and their bouncing baby turns into a tiny terror. What to do? They’re too precious to kill but too dangerous to let free. So the parents lock the child away.

“Maybe at first they look after the child, always tender, always caring, always driven by guilt, but eventually that guilt begins to fade. People can get used to anything, even their own child’s tears. 

“Their child doesn’t know why he’s been locked away, he can only wallow in loneliness until the day something happens. His chain breaks lose – or maybe his parents die or something. Either way, he’s free and he’s angry. He hurts some people – the people he feels deserve it the most – and then a hunter arrives.

“They know the whole story and they pity the child, but the child isn’t a good victim – he’s broken victim-rules by lashing out against his oppressors and he must be punished for it! So the hunter kills him. Sound familiar?”

Koz stared at Manny’s pleasantly smiling face. He grit his teeth. “Yes.”

“Of course, in my case, the hunter wasn’t successful in killing me,” Manny said sweetly. “I was lucky though, and I know it. That’s why I’ve brought together my family. We’re going to stop this persecution. We’ll make it so every child will be able to run freely. If they kill, it is only because they were meant to – it is what we are and I intend for all wolves to be able to embrace it.”

“You aren’t just killing hunters though,” Koz growled. “You’re killing innocent people!” He gestured to Jack. “He was a bystander!”

“And now he’s family.” Manny smirked and Jack pressed against Koz’s side.

“You killed my wife,” Koz spat, trying to keep the despair from his voice. “What did she do to you?”

Manny cocked his head to the side – a doggish gesture. “Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. I’ve killed too many humans to keep track of who they were.”

Koz snarled. “You mistook her for a hunter’s assistant!”

“Oooooh,” Manny said, his reaction as nonchalant as if he’d received a bit of trivia for a film he didn’t care much about. “Well, that was just business then. I kill my enemies, and hunters are my enemies. I’d say sorry for making the mistake, but I don’t care for humans that much. I suppose I’m sorry I didn’t turn her instead, then she could have turned you and we’d be family.”

Koz sagged, feeling as though he’d been punched in the gut but worse. So much worse. It was too much. Too much that Manny was handsome and awful and evil and surrounded by allies and tragic and totally unapologetic and especially too much that he didn’t even remember Jo - when memories of her mangled body had haunted Koz for years. “If it was just… just ‘business’ then why did you… did you have to…”

“Eat her?”

Koz swallowed bile.

“I’d already taken the trouble of killing her. It would have been a waste of food to just walk away.”

Koz’s ears were ringing. He felt too numb to do anything more than dimly notice the wolves glancing at their leader uncertainly.

Jack bristled beside him. “Humans aren’t food!” He said in a strangled tone.

Manny laughed lightly. “Of course they are!”

Koz flinched, but Jack seemed only taken aback. “Didn’t you used to be human?”

“I was. But then I was given a gift – a gift I have graciously bestowed on you as well. We’ve all been given a chance to step up the food chain. There’s no point pitying the ones left behind. If you need any of your human friends or family with you to be happy, you can turn them as well. The more the merrier I always say.” Manny smiled at the crowd of followers around him. The uncertainty any of them might have shown melted away as they looked up at him adoringly.

Koz snapped. He snarled, stepping forward as he began to change. Jack grabbed hold of his arm. “Koz,” he said warningly.

“It’s quite alright, Jack. I understand why your companion is so frustrated. He can only see me as an enemy. I did kill his mate and he’s been honing an instinctive hatred for us ever since. Why, I’m sure he would’ve even killed you when you turned if he could’ve.”

Koz’s eyes widened as he turned cold all over. Manny was bluffing. He couldn’t know what Koz had almost done to Jack. But those red eyes were widening – Manny could smell is fear. All the wolves could smell his fear. They all knew, except for Jack.

“Obviously, you don’t understand him at all,” Jack said with a cool confidence that hit Koz like a punch to the gut. “Neither of us want to join you so I think you should leave. Please.”

Manny smirked at Koz before his eyes rolled over to Jack. He smiled warmly enough. “It’s no skin off my nose if you two don’t join me.” He said, “I just thought I’d be neighborly.” He nodded towards his entourage and they all began to slink away, the foliage rustling at they passed. “My offer is open standing with no time-limits, Jack. Feel free to join up whenever you need.” There was a dark gleam in Manny’s red eyes. “I hope to hear from you soon.”

There was a moment of heavy silence between the two as the last of the pack vanished into the dark woods. The both stood frozen, some instinct making even Jack stay quiet and still until the wolves were far away and gone. Throughout it all Koz could smell Jack’s anxiety; he was sure he was still giving off some himself.

“Holy shit,” Jack said at last, gasping like he was coming up for air.

Not the most eloquent of responses, but Koz couldn’t help but agree. Jack ran his hands through his hair, mussing it up. He stepped back, as if he could remove himself from all that had transpired. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, swallowed, and finally said. “I feel like I need a shower now.”

Koz let out a breath of air. “Yes,” he said, “me too.” He kept hearing Manny’s words in his ears: ‘I’d already taken the trouble of killing her. It would have been a waste of food to just walk away.’ The memory of her mangled body flashed before his eyes, sharper and fuller than it had been in many years.

He squatted down, swallowing bile and forcing himself to breathe. ‘Just breathe,’ he urged himself. ‘In for four. Hold ‘til six. Out for seven.’

“Koz?” Jack was by his side in a moment. “Koz?!” Jack hesitated, hand hovering over Koz’s shoulder before he put his palm down and started rubbing soothing circles across his back.

Koz pressed a hand over his eyes and bit back a groan. He was supposed to be taking care of Jack, not the other way around!

“It’s okay,” Jack said. “It’s going to be okay.”

His placations did little to help Koz. It was not okay; it was never going to be okay. Maybe he should have killed them both when he had the chance.

A lance of guilt pierced through him. It was just as Manny had said.

“I’m not better than him,” he said, stomach turning. “He was right, I would have killed you...”

“No,” Jack said, still rubbing soft circles over his back. “You never hurt me as a wolf – you saved me!”

Koz shook his head and swallowed down the last of his nausea. “I saved you as a wolf, but he was still right.”

Koz lifted his head and looked Jack in the eye. Jack hid nothing in his expression, he was confused, but mostly he was concerned. About Koz. It was a struggle not to look away from such shameless honesty.

“When I woke the next morning as a human and saw you’d been bitten, I would’ve killed you – and myself – but I didn’t have any bullets.”

Jack’s hand had stopped moving on his back. An agonizing moment passed and then, as if in slow motion, he pulled it away. Koz missed its warmth immediately. He watched, his insides crumbling, as the concern in Jacks expression faded and turned into outraged disbelief. The scent of fear met Koz’s senses.

“I decided you were right,” Koz said quickly, hoping to dissuade the boy’s mounting alarm. “You kept trying to convince me I was a good person and I deserved a second chance and I’m not and I probably don’t, but you Jack, are good and you deserve to live.”

“Thank you for deciding that!” Jack said, his voice rising an octave as he stood, taking several steps back. “Good to know I passed your standards and now get to live! What? If I’d been just a little shittier you would’ve just murdered me earlier today?” He stepped back, fear coiling off him like snakes. “That’s why you were acting so weird when you got your gun! You were still thinking about it!”

“I was thinking about myself.” Koz stood and Jack took a few more steps back. Koz could see in his every movement the urge to fight or run and it made him sick. He slouched and stepped back. “I was still deciding if I deserved a second chance.”

Jack wasn’t listening, his face was drawn, his eyes red and wet. “I-I came to find you-I got bitten when I went back for you and you… ” He was trembling, tears shaking out of the corner of his eyes. “You were just going to… ” He gasped for breath. 

Koz reached for him and he knew that was a mistake as soon as he made it. 

Jack stumbled back. “Don’t touch me!” He ran his hands through his hair. “God… I kissed you! You were thinking of killing me and I was thinking of-ugh!” He made a face of utter disgust.

Koz took a hesitant step toward him, feeling anger flare for the first time since he’d confessed. “I was not thinking about killing you by then. I swear—”

“Certainly helped you make up your mind, didn’t I?”

“What? No!” Koz took a step forward and Jack took three steps back. “It was nothing like that.” He took another step forward and Jack snarled.

Koz froze. He could smell how close Jack was to changing. The boy’s eyes shone supernaturally bright, his teeth curved into fangs. “Stay back!” He roared. Koz could see him trembling, but wasn’t sure if it was out of fear or fighting the desire to change.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Koz said, lowering his voice. He looked away. Inspiration struck and he took the few steps needed to leave the druid circle.

He held out his hands. “See, I’m outside the circle while you’re still inside.” He stepped back in, making sure Jack was watching good and hard. “See? I’m not going to hurt you.”

Jack shrank, visibly deflating as the wolf in him took a begrudging step back. Still, he watched Koz with a wariness that cut deeply.

Koz didn’t like it. After all Jack had been through it was amazing he could trust anyone and he’d still put his faith in Koz. If only Koz were a good enough person to be worth such faith.

“I want to leave,” Jack said, his voice shaky. “I just… I can’t be around you right now.”

Koz winced. He didn’t want Jack to go. “The pack might still be out there,” he warned.

“What are they going to do?” Jack said, his voice evening out. “Turn me?” He glared at Koz pointedly, the ferocity in his eyes only fueled by the unshed tears still lingering there. “Try to kill me?”

Koz looked away.

Jack didn’t say anything more, just walked out of the circle without a second glance, head bowed.

Koz let him. There was something broken between them now and he knew it. He also knew that time and distance were probably the only thing that could fix it. So he let Jack go, watching him until he couldn’t make out the boy’s snowy hair through the gloom.

The frogs and crickets resumed their noise. Occasionally he caught the whine as a mosquito flew overhead, followed sometimes by a swift-winged bat. 

Koz sat with his knees drawn up to his chest, head resting on his arms. He felt raw, like he did after a therapy session – but at least after he talked to Tooth he usually felt better, lighter. Now his heart felt twisted, emotions tangled like heavy knots.

Memories of Manny’s words and his wife’s death chased their way around his head, followed by the vivid image of Jack’s eyes as the hope and trust in them bled out.

He watched the place he’d last seen Jack’s snowy white hair. His eyes itched for sleep, but his mind wouldn’t stop going. He rested his head on his arms and waited for Jack’s return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:D


	7. Long Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rift between Jack and Koz grows wider as danger grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the most gore-y chapter I've written just so y'all know. Be prepared!
> 
> In other news I'm hella sleepy.

Koz dozed a little, but he was just awake enough to know that Jack never returned when he nodded off. This was worrying, but he dismissed it. Manny wasn’t half the threat he’d been before Jack was bitten, and Koz didn’t doubt that the Czar would rather have him join up than kill him. He figured Jack had gone off, decided not to come back, and slept somewhere else. When the early morning birds started to rise, he began to worry.

He didn’t want a repeat performance of the first day on the island; he didn’t want Jack to return to the druid circle to think Koz had abandoned him. Jack mistrusted him enough right now. But what if something had happened to him?

Koz bit his lip, his thoughts going back and forth before he shook his head. No, if Jack came back, he’d just keep tracking him until he found him. Then explain and apologize profusely… since that worked so well last night. He sighed.

He left the druid circle, following Jack’s trail through the gloomy trees. At first he searched for footprints and broken fauna as he made his way through the brush, then he remembered his enhanced sense of smell.

The air was cool but humid. Koz found he could follow Jack’s scent without needing to crouch and track. The lingering moisture held the scent trail fresh longer than usual. He walked normally, following Jack’s scent in a west-ward direction.

He kept his head high, scenting the air for any trace of Jack returning. Occasionally he called for him, but all he heard was the chatter of early birds and the rustle of leaves. He wasn’t sure if Jack was in a forgiving enough mood to respond anyway.

Koz’s feet crunched through dead leaves and twigs and he swatted midges from his face. It was getting warmer. The light streaming between the foliage had turned from dark blue to purple.

Koz hadn’t thought Jack would go so far, and yet he had couldn’t find any place heavy enough with Jack’s scent to indicate he’d stopped to rest for the night. “Jack!” He called. Had he gotten lost? He seemed to be heading in a fairly straight line for someone who’d lost their way. 

A breeze blew from the west and Koz lifted his head and inhaled deeply, trying to catch a whiff of his companion, but all he smelled was exhaust and asphalt. The highway. His stomach turned in dread. Jack had walked to the highway. 

“Shit.” Koz turned and ran back the way he’d come. If Jack had gotten picked up by a driver, he might be home already by now! “Shit!” Koz sprinted back towards the lake and the scene of last night’s party. He didn’t know how he might catch up to the boy, but he’d probably at least need his car.

***

Jack walked slowly towards Burgess along the highway’s shoulder. There were very few drivers out so late, but he dutifully put his thumb out for each pair of headlights he saw, hoping for a ride.

Each time the vehicle would pass him by until finally a semi-truck pulled over for him.

Jack was a little wary. He’d dealt with his fair share of creeps and knew about the reputation truckers had with female hitchhikers. Still, he figured there must be some advantages to being a werewolf. He could always let loose his control a little, and go just wolfy enough to and scare the crap out of the guy if he tried anything funny.

This plan flew out of his head as soon as he climbed up into the cab and was greeted by a very small, very excited poodle, wearing a leather-studded vest that said ‘Bad to the Bone’ on the back.

The poodle yipped and skipped across Jack’s lap, licking at his face.

“C’mon Gilly-girl,” the driver said, his mustache bouncing as he spoke, “be cool.”

He pulled the semi back onto the road and Gilly settled on the seat between the two of them, alert and watching the scenery beside the road.

“So you a student at the college or what?” The driver asked.

“Um… yeah,” Jack lied. “Car broke down on my way home and no phone so…”

The trucker grunted and scratched the poodle’s ears. “Probably would’ve been faster to head back to Claussen,” he said. “Would’ve taken you all night to get to Burgess.”

“Yeah, but I live at home, so I thought I should just… y’know. Don’t want my mom to worry.” Jack twiddled his fingers on his shorts. He felt odd. He was wearing stolen clothes, he’d been through this crazy nightmare/adventure, and now he was here, hitchhiking home.

“Why you think I picked you up, kid?” The trucker said, “I saw you and thought: that kid’s probably got somebody worried about him, wondering where he is.”

Jack felt a little guilty at that. Koz was probably wondering where he was right now. He shook his head as if to shake away the thought. He didn’t care what Koz was doing! His mother was definitely worried about him, and had been for weeks now. He was going home.

He leaned his head against the window and watched the trees go by, nothing but a darker patch against the night sky. He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but when he woke the rig was slowing down as it pulled onto the exit ramp towards Burgess.

It was still dark out, that much he knew immediately. He blinked sleepily as Gilly squirmed beside him, hopping over his lap to look out the window. He rubbed his eyes and looked up ahead to see the blaring white lights of a 7/11. A familiar 7/11.

The semi pulled up at the gas station’s edge. As soon as they’d stopped Jack gently pulled Gilly off his lap and hopped out of the cab. “Thanks for the ride,” he said. He heaved the door shut just as the driver rolled down the window. Gilly yipped in excitement as she pranced about and watched him from the window.

“You need me to drop you off someplace?” The driver asked.

“No thank you, I live just down the street.” Jack waved goodbye and set off. He hadn’t lied. The 7/11 really was just up the block from his house. He could see his mailbox from here.

He shoved his hands in his pant-pockets and walked, although he almost felt like running. He felt kind of bashful. What do you say to someone who thinks you’re dead? That your dad maybe murdered you? Who’s already started mourning? Gosh, the neighbors were going to freak out. The whole town probably would – he’d made it into the newspaper! Somehow waltzing up to the front door, knocking, and announcing ‘Not dead’ didn’t seem appropriate.

He was also afraid. Was his dad home or had he been detained for questioning? If the police thought he might’ve killed Jack, he could be in prison!

The 7/11’s lights threw shadows all down the street and Jack stared at the long shadow stretching out before him, trying not to let fear take hold of him. The night was quiet, the neighborhood still asleep, so Jack jumped in surprise when Gilly’s sharp barks echoed from the gas station parking lot.

A quick glance revealed the little poodle had been let down from the cab and was standing next to the tire pump at the edge of the lot, barking her head off. Even from a few houses down, Jack could hear the driver hushing her. The tiny dog was incensed though, barking and snarling, her whole body tensed in defense-mode as she edged back towards the semi.

Jack followed her gaze to the treeline, just at the edge of the lot. The convenience store lights were bright, but the branches were too thick to see far beyond the trees.

Jack felt a tingle along the back of his neck as his arms broke out in goosebumps.

‘Probably a raccoon,’ he reassured himself. Why would it be anything else? How could one of Manny’s pack have followed him? He shuddered. They had driven a long way going maybe seventy or eighty miles an hour. Could a werewolf keep up with that? 

Jack hurried his steps. He may have talked big to Koz, but he was afraid of running into Manny’s pack. Even if he was immune to their bites now, he wasn’t keen on getting mauled again. He almost wished Koz were here. But maybe it was Koz. Maybe he’d followed Jack?

Jack nearly broke into a run as his unease grew, but remembered at the last moment that you weren’t supposed to run from wild animals – it only encouraged them to attack – so he resisted the urge. He walked quickly up to his front door, so frazzled he barely registered his own joy at standing on this porch once more. He was just being paranoid, he told himself. He’d been on the run from supernatural monsters for weeks now, of course he’d still be antsy now.

He could see the specks of purple where his sister had spilled nail polish on the sidewalk, the bushes next to the steps where a stray cat had once had a litter of kittens. The paint along the door was chipped and scratched in places, marking Jack’s height as he’d grown, even though it had driven his mother crazy for him to scratch up her house.

He reached up above the doorframe, a feat once impossible for him, and groped blindly until his fingers met the chill of metal. He pulled the key down from on top of the doorframe and slid it in the lock, pausing as he realized that it might be a little alarming for his family if he suddenly appeared inside the house.

He stopped and replaced the key over the door. The doorbell was broken and had been for as long as Jack could remember. Heart in his throat, he knocked on the door.

He waited a breathless moment, shaking from head to toe, though he wasn’t sure why. In the distance he heard a deep rumbling as the semi pulled out of the gas station and back onto the highway. The deep silence left in its wake sent a shiver down his spine. He’d grown accustomed to the sounds of the forest at night.

The hair raised on the back of his neck. He should at least be hearing crickets chirp – the forest started at the edge of his backyard - but all was quiet.

He bit his lip. Everyone was probably asleep and if his father weren’t at home, his mother might not even answer the door. He tried again, stealing his nerve and knocking louder, more insistently.

He bounced on the balls of his feet, adrenaline coursing through him. Maybe his mom had decided to stay at a friend’s house?

Sound hit him like a thunderclap – an explosion of noise, there and then gone again. It was his only warning.

He backed away. No, no, no, no! Not now! He couldn’t have a sensory attack now!

He clapped his hands over his ears as he slouched over, braced for pain, but that didn’t stop the rising wave of sound. He could hear his own blood rushing through the veins in his hands. He gasped in alarm and agony and his own breathing sounded like a thunderous gale. He opened eyes he didn’t remember closing and looked up at the front door.

He couldn’t let his mother see him like this – maybe after he’d talked to her first, but not right off the bat. He wasn’t even sure if he could talk to her; if a sound louder than a heartbeat came to his ears, his eardrums might burst.

He staggered back, nearly falling down the steps. The sound of his own footsteps was like a bludgeon to his senses, so overwhelming he couldn’t even think straight enough to keep his feet under him.

He fell onto the grass at the front lawn and curled into a ball, palms white against his head as he tried to drown out the noise. He opened watery eyes and looked at the blurry grass just before his eyes.

What was it Koz had said? Focus on something else.

There was a terrifying crunching noise growing closer and closer, ragged wind and tearing, breaking – Hell and who knew else what - sounds so distorted by volume they couldn’t be identified and all Jack could do was press his hands over his ears and hope the insistent throbbing of his own pulse would drown out the jagged edges of sound that pierced through his senses.

He gasped for breath and just registered a foul taste in the air. Foul enough to notice, foul enough to distract him.

He breathed deeply through the nose and took in the rough, musky scent. It was familiar somehow, like something he’d smelled not that long ago. It was nighttime then too. He had been with Koz – the night he’d first found out Koz was a werewolf! He’d smelled just like this.

Jack lifted his aching head. “Koz,” he whined softly, tears pricking at his eyes.

A cold nose pressed firmly against his cheek, hot breath ghosting across his skin. The tactile sensation was so contradictory and shocking coupled with the strong scent – Jack could feel the world slowly quieting down around him.

He blinked back tears, eyes focusing on the muzzle gently nuzzling against his cheek. It was white.

He jerked away, leaping to his feet, still dizzy and shaking from the attack.

The wolf jumped, startled at Jack’s sudden movement. Up close, the supernatural glow from its eyes was bright as a flashlight and . . . green, not red. So it was a white wolf, but not the White Wolf.

The two stared at each other a moment in mutual surprise and alarm, then there came a crash like shattering glass from around the side of the house.

Jack jumped. What the hell was that? Then he realized - if there was one werewolf here, there might be another! He bolted around the side of the house. The white wolf followed after with a hesitant growl.

Jack skidded on the dewy grass and saw a brown she-wolf struggling to pull her head out of what remained of the kitchen window, glass shards dropping from her thick ruff, although her face was covered in bloody scratches. She hardly noticed Jack. Instead she stood on her hind legs and gingerly pawed the last of the glass out of the way.

Jack’s felt cold. There were werewolves at his home and they were trying to get in.

“I’m calling the police!” Even the wolves jumped in surprise as Jack’s mother shouted from within the house. 

The sound of her voice made Jack want to cry. He wanted to call out for her – but didn’t dare. He heard a door slam shut somewhere upstairs and he prayed his mother did more than lock herself and his sister in her room. They’d need a barricade to keep out these monsters.

The she-wolf hopped up onto the window-ledge, balanced precariously as she squeezed her large frame through the comparatively small opening.

Jack saw red. He charged forward, stumbling as his legs warped beneath him. His clothes shrank, threatening to choke him before he tore through them entirely. He fell on all fours and hit the ground running, a roar bursting from his throat as he tackled the she-wolf. She yelped as her body was wrenched to the side, her back legs losing their purchase while she scrambled to pull herself inside with her forelimbs.

She was trying to get inside, away from Jack – but more importantly, towards his family. The thought of her harming them filled Jack with a bestial rage. He grabbed hold of her hind leg and yanked. There came a sickening pop and the she-wolf screamed in pain, but Jack wouldn’t stop. He barely registered what he’d done. His thoughts were murky, clouded out by two instincts: protect and fight.

He clamped down on the she-wolf’s hind limb and shook, wrenching her dislocated foot even further.

The she-wolf cried and kicked at him with her other back leg.

The white wolf was on him in a moment. They rolled clumsily head-over-tails before lurching to a stop. Jack jumped to his feet, fueled by a panicky aggression. He lunged for the white wolf’s flank, forcing his opponent to feint back, snarling, ears back, tail between his legs. He was small, Jack registered. Young. A pup. The female too. He felt no pity though – only a cold confidence that he would win. He darted forward and snapped at the white pup’s muzzle, almost enjoying how the wolf flinched back, his body lowering slightly.

Jack’s ears turned around at the clatter behind him and he turned his head to look. The she-wolf had pulled herself back out of the window and landed in an ungainly heap.

Jack charged at her and she scurried away while her male companion darted forward with a snarl. Jack whirled on him and instantly the pup’s ears flattened. He bore his teeth, but his tail hugged his belly.

The female shrank away, moving unsteadily on her damaged limb.

Every move Jack made, the white wolf put himself between him and the she-wolf, all the while displaying obvious signs of his own fear. Still, he clung stubbornly to bravery until the female had ducked into the woods.

The pup glanced nervously from Jack to the edge of the yard before bolting for the forest. Jack gave chase, snarling at his heels, more to chase him from his territory than for any intent to do harm. He followed him to the edge of the treeline and then the fur rose on the back of his neck.

Up ahead, the two pups scurried toward two sets of glowing eyes. Jack’s hackles rose, and he growled uncertainly.

The two watchers were larger than the pups who’d attacked Jack’s home. The injured female hobbled toward them, head bowed, ears flat, tail between her legs. The male followed after, body low to the ground in the face of his older pack members.

One of the wolves growled at them while the other glared at Jack. Jack didn’t break eye contact until the sound of sirens broke out in the distance.

As one, the four pack members started into the woods.

Jack remained, unsure. This was his home wasn’t it? He should stay, right? But he shouldn’t? Why not? He couldn’t remember. But he did remember when the sun came up, he’d be a human again. He’d be able to think better then, but he’d also be vulnerable. He needed to hide.

***

Koz jogged back the way he’d come, trying to stave off fear. He was usually better at shutting down such emotions when he needed to, but Jack had gotten to him. He couldn’t break off his feelings towards him any more than he could towards North or Bunny.

He tore past the druid circle and found the creek he and Jack had followed the night before. He slipped and slid over the damp stones, feet kicking up wet sand in his wake.

The wind shifted and he had a moment to breathe in the new scents it carried before he stopped dead. The hair rose on the back of his neck. Even though dawn had broke and the beast in him should have been at rest, he still felt an animalistic fear rise in him. He scented the breeze again to be sure – but there was no mistaking it – he smelled blood, and there was a lot.

Koz moved carefully after that, eyes and ears strained and scenting the wind for anything other than the stench of blood and decaying flesh.

The smell grew stronger and stronger until he’d come to the end of the stream, where the water’s steady trickle merged into the lake. Here on the bank, Koz found the source of the smell easily.

The gloom put a fuzzy edge to the scene, so it seemed almost like a dream. But there they were: the tents from the night before were torn to shreds, down and fluff from the campers’ sleeping bags lay strewn about, soaked red so they blended in with the campers bloodied remains.

A few Koz recognized as teens at the party from the night before, the rest were either face-down or torn beyond recognition. Teeth and claw marks stood out against lifeless flesh. Bloody paw prints patterned the beach.

He swallowed bile and moved away from the bank, hoping to avoid walking through the scene. Flies buzzed around the beach in a frenzy, swarms surrounding the bloodier forms. An eager crow pecked at the red-stained sand and hopped towards one of the still bodies. Koz picked up a pebble by his foot and threw it at the bird. The crow squawked and flew off. He’d be back soon though - and with friends. This was a feast for carrion birds and Koz would rather not be present to witness it.

The whole scene reminded him of his wife’s death, but he had practice shutting that out. Besides, he’d been to a wendigo’s nest, this was nothing.

Still, when he got in his van on the other side of the massacre, having stepped around several bodies laying further away from the beach, he paused to take a few deep breaths.

He knew Manny was not afraid to spill blood. He’d heard plenty of horror stories about the White Wolf, but it was a little different seeing it for himself. And what purpose did it serve? He’d mistaken his wife, Jo, for a threat and had turned Jack out of some twisted desire for kinship (or else on accident) but why had these children needed to die?

Was it because of Koz? Was this some show of force to intimidate him and Jack into joining Manny’s pack? Or a warning to not cross him? No. He remembered, they’d showed up last night smelling like blood. Jamie had even had blood on his muzzle.

Jack had said that Jamie had hunted him as part of a test – an initiation. If Jamie hadn’t been the one to turn Jack, did that mean that Jamie hadn’t passed his initiation? Was killing those campers his and his sisters’ second chance?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now wasn’t the time for speculation. The blood bath was bound to draw more attention than birds and bugs, and he didn’t want to be caught loitering when the police turned up.

He needed to stop and report the wolf attack to Mr. Qwerty and tell him he was on the case before Bunny or North tried to step in. Then he’d find Jack. He put the van in gear and pulled away from the scene of the massacre, frowning as he saw another crow fly in just as he pulled out.

When he was able to breathe without the scent of blood making him want to gag, he rolled the windows, hoping to catch a whiff of Jack on the breeze – but he couldn’t be so lucky. 

He cursed as he pulled out of the park, using the same pass as he had last night to slip through security. Jack could be anywhere! All Koz knew was that he lived in Burgess, but he had no idea where. He didn’t even know Jack’s last name!

The newspaper might have it – but Jack was a minor so they shouldn’t have released it. No, wait! Jack wasn’t a minor, Koz had nearly forgotten. If he could get his hands on one of those newspapers, he could find Jack’s last name. Maybe then he could find him in the phone book. Burgess wasn’t a large town, so long as Jack’s last name wasn’t something outrageously common, he was sure he could find him.

He wasn’t quite sure what he’d do after that.

He didn’t want to kill Jack – it wasn’t even an option at this point. That didn’t mean he trusted him alone. Whether Jack wanted it or not, he would change and he would attack humans if he could. At the very least, Koz needed to keep in contact with Jack so the boy would have him if he needed him. And if Jack did want to explain things to his parents, it might help to have someone there to back up his story and maybe provide a buffer between Jack and his father.

Koz grit his teeth to think he might have to meet and make nice with such a person.

He drove past a road sign announcing an approaching exit for Burgess. He’d get off there, he decided. There was a gas station just off the exit that he knew of. He might be able to find a newspaper with the article about Jack, and he might as well grab a coffee and some breakfast while he was at it. He wasn’t hungry, but he’d need the fuel in the likely event that he’d be spending the whole day searching.

He pulled off onto the exit ramp and drove into the 7/11 parking lot.

Instantly, he noticed a commotion going on down the street.

The sun wasn’t even up and people were standing in their doorways, on their porches, crowding the cracked sidewalks and generally milling about. Most of them were wearing pajamas with sneakers or jackets hastily pulled on. In the midst of it all was a police car, flashing lights throwing red and blue across the street and splashing the pavement with stark shadows.

The houses along the street weren’t dilapidated, it wasn’t a bad looking part of town, but neither was it a squeaky-clean suburb. It wasn’t too surprising to see the police there, but then an animal control van pulled in down the block.

Koz’s heart sank. He pulled out of the convenience store lot and drove slowly down the street. He looked plenty suspicious, but he also blended in – what was one more snoop amongst the crowd?

Koz pulled up to the curb near a set of antsy-looking neighbor women. He rolled down the window, smiled, and turned the posh in his accent up to an eleven. “My!” He said, “What’s going on over there?”

“A bear broke through their window!” One of the neighbors said excitedly.

“Or a mountain lion!” Cut in another. “We aren’t quite sure. Nobody really saw much.”

Koz held back his relief. “Good God, I hope no one was hurt?”

“No, no.” The neighbor lady shook her head.

“Thank goodness!” Koz said, and he meant it. He doubted that whatever had broken in was a mountain lion or a bear. Perhaps Jack hadn’t been able to get a lift and had changed in order to get home faster? He might be hiding in the woods at this very moment, waiting for the commotion to die down.

Koz thanked the neighbor ladies, disentangling himself as quickly as he could from a conversation about his accent. He drove a few blocks and parked around the corner, then left the vehicle and headed towards the treeline on foot.

When he felt he was far enough into the woods that he wouldn’t be spotted from the outside, he started back towards the commotion, keeping his senses alert for any sign of the boy-turned-wolf.

His heart pounded as he crept through the trees, the thrill of the hunt fanning his adrenaline – but he tried to force the feeling away. This wasn’t a hunt. He kept low with his weapon out and down. He didn’t want to be mistaken for a mountain lion and shot, but neither did he want to get attacked by a rampaging werewolf. He’d written Jack off as a non-threat, but he wasn’t so sure about his wolfish side. If Jack saw him as a danger now . . .

He whirled at the snap of branches behind him.

Even in the gloom he could clearly make out Jacks’ snowy-white fur.

“Jack?” He said, his voice low, ready to raise his weapon at any sign of aggression. He didn’t want to harm Jack anymore now that the boy hated him more than he had before, but he didn’t want to get laid up when they were both in such a vulnerable position either.

He was in luck though. Jack whined and shuffled toward him slowly, ears back and eyes wide, the fur on the back of his neck fluffed up. He was clearly distressed, but his eyes flickered around – away from Koz – so it wasn’t Koz who had him so anxious.

It might have been the police, who were shining flashlights into the trees not far from where they stood.

“Come on, Jack,” Koz said, urging the young wolf to follow him as he turned and made back towards his car. Jack hurried to follow after, nearly knocking Koz over as he clung to his side, whining softly. “Shhh!” Koz hissed. He wasn’t sure if animal control had started combing the woods for the ‘mountain lion’ but he knew he didn’t want to by found by them.

Suddenly he caught a stench on the breeze and froze. Beside him, Jack also went still, ears pricking and leathery black nose flaring as he scented the wind.

Koz could smell wolves – other wolves – but he couldn’t see them.

Jack growled into the brush. Koz put a hand on his ruff, thinking he might grab hold if Jack tried to bolt into the trees. The instant he touched him and felt the muscles beneath his hand, he realized this would be impossible – this was not some little pup he could grab hold of. But then he didn’t need to. Jack seemed to calm under his touch. He licked his lips and settled back against Koz.

“C’mon,” Koz urged, giving Jack’s ruff – loose now that he wasn’t so tense – a soft tug. Jack followed him willingly.

Those onlookers who were still out were thankfully too distracted talking to one another or else looking towards the trees to notice Koz and a 200-pound white wolf run across the street.

Koz had just managed to squeeze Jack into the back of his car when the sun peeped over the horizon.

A quick run-through of their things while Jack changed confirmed that while the van still had all the groceries they’d purchased from the day before (and thank goodness he hadn’t bought any refrigerated items) he didn’t have any clothes for Jack to wear.

He slipped off his jacket just as the younger man shifted into human form and his tremors stilled. He wrapped the jacket around the young man’s narrow shoulders.

Jack sat up jerkily, pulling the edges of the coat tight around himself. He swallowed and shook his head, trying to clear out the cobwebs from the night before. He opened his mouth to speak a few times, eyes distant as he tried to remember how to form words.

“Manny—” he spoke haltingly, his words still clumsy. “His wolves were here.”

“I know,” Koz said.

Jack looked up at him with damp eyes, the scent of fear rolling off of him. “They know where my family lives.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all my peeps who joined me in tonight's Game of Thrones stream, I was pumped enough to pound this one out! Now sleep.


	8. The Overland House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Jack is home again, but he starts to question if that is the best place for him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The playlist for this is posted! http://8tracks.com/guardian-of-da-gay/grayscale

Koz left to get food shortly after Jack turned back. They spoke only long enough to agree that it would have been a bad idea for Jack to appear in front of a crowd of police officers wearing only an oversized jacket. Much as it would lend credibility to his fugue state claim if he were to show up buck-naked, he’d much rather look a little less credible and save his dignity by showing up with clothes on. 

He sat in the back of the van, head burrowed in his knees, arms wrapped around his legs. Outside he could hear birds and people—the sounds of life—but inside the car all was silent.

He was afraid. The werewolves knew where he lived. Members of Manny’s psycho pack knew where Jack’s family lived. They even tried to break in!

Were they out of control? Jack had never seen a truly rabid werewolf—even what he remembered from when Manny bit him, the wolf had been calm and calculating in his attack.

Jack shuddered and rubbed his hands up and down his arms. Manny had chosen to turn him and the thought made him feel slimy. An idea prickled at the back of his mind and his stomach turned as it grew. What if the wolves last night were trying to turn his family?

He swallowed hard, fear clawing at him. He’d known the she-wolf breaking into his house last night hadn’t had good intentions, but he hadn’t had the human thought capacity to contemplate what that meant. Manny’s pack had come to either kill or turn his family.

He thought of the two older wolves waiting just inside the woods, watching the pups, and remembered Jamie’s words. They make new pack members prove themselves. Jamie’s family had to kill hunters to prove themselves, those two pups from last night must have been given a similar task last night—and neither of them had seemed all too keen on going after Jack.

He swallowed bile, panic rising in him. What should he do? He’d been all but helpless in the face of werewolf attack before Koz came along. All he did was hide in the cabin and slowly starve, and his family couldn’t even do that—their home wasn’t fortified against werewolves like the cabin had been. Sure, Jack had chased off the two last night, but could he do it again? They were smaller and younger, but there were two of them and two older wolves waited in the wings. What if next time they decided to step in? There was no way he could win by himself.

He wanted to rely on Koz—but Koz wasn’t trustworthy. On the other hand, Koz could help him—and likely would help him. 

Jack ran his hands through his hair. He didn’t know what to do. He liked Koz and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but Koz had proven himself to be terrifying and dangerous, and didn’t always have Jack’s his best interests at heart.

Jack had a newfound respect for what his mother must go through, but at the same time, he was wary of repeating her mistakes. Koz had proven to be a threat, and under normal circumstances Jack would have avoided him at all cost. He bit his lip. But in this case, the cost might be his family’s lives.

Koz had parked his van the next street up from Jack’s house. It was far enough away that he wouldn’t be mistaken for a persistent looky-loo but close enough that Jack could see his home in-between the houses.

A parade of people traipsed in and around his home. Police milled about, taking statements from the neighbors while the animal control officers skulked in and around the forest, searching for a mountain lion they’d never find. Eventually the local news showed up and started taking photos and videos and interviewing the neighbors. Then came a tall man in a suit with a clipboard—an insurance agent, Jack guessed.

The man talked with Jack’s mother on the porch and Jack sadly noted that she’d been kept so busy she was still in her pajamas and bathrobe. If he were there he could give her a break—or at least make her some coffee and make sure Emma got ready for school.

He watched as one of the neighbor ladies, Miss Clavel, hobbled up the steps and pressed a steaming mug into his mother’s hands.

Jack let out a sigh of relief. At least his mother wasn’t totally without help.

Jack was so engrossed in watching the house he jumped nearly a foot when the front door of the van opened suddenly. Koz slid into the front seat, carefully slinging a plastic bag onto the passenger seat before reaching back to hand Jack a cup of coffee.

“Sorry,” he said, not really looking Jack in the face. “I wasn’t sure how you took it, but I brought some creamer cups if you’d like.”

Jack took the cup and put it in the backseat’s cup holder without a word of thanks, then accepted an offered bag of mini-muffins and put them on the seat beside him without even looking Koz’s way. He couldn’t let himself be swayed by kindness—the man had plotted to kill him. Actually kill him! Coffee and breakfast wouldn’t make up for that any time soon.

Still, Jack wouldn’t leave again. That much he’d decided on. If Manny’s wolves knew where his family lived, then they were in danger—and the best person Jack knew to stave off blood-thirsty werewolves was Koz (even if he had technically failed to protect Jack from his werewolf attackers). While he was pretty much convinced Koz was a lying ass—and really, he must be, you can’t plot someone’s murder one moment then make out with them the next—the fact of the matter was that Jack still needed Koz. He just wouldn’t let his guard down around him.

He couldn’t boycott the food Koz brought him for too long. The change always left him starving. He inhaled the muffins and drank the coffee black—which was disgusting, but asking for the creamers would mean in some way acknowledging that Koz had been thoughtful and Jack didn’t want him to get any sort of idea that he’d been forgiven.

He kept looking up from his breakfast to watch his house. People had started to trickle away—getting ready for their days as usual while they mentally rehearsed how they would tell their co-workers about this.

Jack’s mother was the last to head inside after the insurance agent and everyone else had left. For a moment Jack was worried—his sister had school soon, would his mother be able to get her on the bus? But then the door opened and Miss Clavel marched out—still in her bathrobe—leading a fully dressed, ready-for-school Emma by the hand.

Jack covered his hand to stifle a laugh. His sister was eight and firmly under the impression that she didn’t need to hold hands with adults anymore. She rolled her eyes when Jack made her hold his hand, once even going so far as to say ‘I’m too old for this shit.’ She was too polite to sass Miss Clavel, but the look on her face made her thoughts on the hand-holding abundantly clear.

Jack watched her walk down the street and disappear from view. He craned his neck and pressed his face to the glass to catch a glimpse of her heading to the bus stop, but the other houses were in the way. He waited until his mother came out of the house fully dressed. She was wearing khakis and the uncomfortable polo that formed her work uniform at the local craft store, grey-streaked brown hair tied back in a ponytail. 

Jack watched her lock the front door and head down the steps. He felt a pang in his heart. She looked so tired.

Koz dozed in the front seat, but Jack sat back and watched the neighborhood empty out. Around midday, the streets were clear, the houses vacant as everyone left for work or school.

*

Koz pulled the car up onto Jack’s street and kept watch while Jack scurried into the forest. He walked parallel the tree line just out of sight, heading to his own backyard. They had decided—or rather, Koz had said as much and Jack had silently nodded his head—that it would be less alarming for neighbors to see a stranger letting himself into the empty Overland house than it would be to see Jack doing so, seeing he was missing and presumed dead. Jack had told Koz where the front door’s key was hidden and he walked up to the front door, calm as you could believe and let himself in.

Moments later, he appeared at the back door and Jack darted from the cover of the trees, up the back steps and into his kitchen.

As soon as he stepped up the rickety wooden back steps and through the backdoor, he was misty-eyed. He looked around at the sunny kitchen, taking in every detail: the wall clock over the kitchen table, the dirty dishes in the sink, the handmade magnets strung across the refrigerator door. He’d once thought he’d never see this place again. He took a few steps into the room and rested his hand on the worn surface of the kitchen table. 

The broken window over the sink had been hastily repaired with a taped up piece of wax paper. There were scratches on the counter from the she-wolf’s claws and Jack would bet good money his mother was absolutely furious about the marks to her counters.

As he continued to look around, Jack felt that something was off. Still, it took a second for him to figure out what. Normally there was a picture of the four of them hanging on the wall between the kitchen and dining room, but it was gone.

Across from the back door was the door to the basement (a glorified cellar really) and then a path to the dining room. Curious, Jack poked his head into the dining room. There were the good table and chairs they used only for holidays, and the shelves along the wall with all the family’s good glassware. But all the family photos that usually adorned the shelves alongside his mother’s china were gone.

Jack walked through the dining room, and into the living room, pausing in the doorframe. Everything seemed normal here at first sight. The family’s lumpy couch was pressed against one wall. His father’s chair was stationed right in front of the television, the seat ripped up because his dad’s ass had worn through the fabric over time. Except that there was a cover on the chair now.

Jack stared at it. That hadn’t been there when he left. The whole room looked classier now, but also strangely cold. The shelves beside the TV held their DVDs and various VHS tapes, but all the photos usually there were gone.

Jack looked across the stair’s banister in the entryway and saw Koz standing just in the kitchen, watching him warily. Jack looked away, flushing as he remembered he wasn’t wearing anything beneath Koz’s jacket.

“I’m going to take a shower and put some clothes on,” he said. He looked around. He hadn’t really considered playing host for Koz. “You can uh . . . eat or watch TV, I guess.”

He put a hand on the banister and started up the steps, ignoring how Koz was eyeing him. He hadn’t noticed it so much before, but the steps dipped downward in the middle. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Everything here felt strange and new and achingly familiar.

‘Focus,’ he thought, ‘shower.’

His shower was brief—he kept fighting off paranoia that one of his family members would suddenly come home while he was washing. But if he hadn’t been worried about that, he might never have left. He’d forgotten how good showers and feeling clean felt. He’d had one at the cabin just after he’d turned, but he’d been an inch from passing out then.

He wrapped himself in a snuggly clean towel and headed across the hall to his room, feeling a strange sense of dysphoria as he did—like he didn’t belong in his own home. He tried to push the feeling away. It was only because he was so paranoid that his mom or sister might come home and find him here after being missing for so long.

He found even in his room, things were different and yet just the same. 

Half of it was a mess as usual—DVDs and books that he was determined to watch and read but hadn’t gotten to lay stacked against his bed. His clothes—dirty and clean—were strewn about the floor and there were Halloween candy wrappers next to his open math textbook on the desk. He rifled through the clothes on the floor and picked out something clean to pull on before investigating further.

Over-top of his usual mess, black dust was scattered across his desk and dresser. Upon closer inspection he saw his own fingerprints outlined in the fine powder. The police must have come and collected his prints, he realized. In case they needed to identify him. He looked around in embarrassment—the police had seen his dirty room?

Some of the dust had been wiped away—his mother’s doing no doubt, which would also explain why half of his floor was cleared of clothing—but not why these clothes had been deposited on the bed (Jack never put clothes on the bed, that was his sleeping space). He sat on the edge of the mattress and looked around his room—different and yet just the same.

It wasn’t like his mother to leave his room half-cleaned once she’d lost patience with his messiness. He bit his lip at the thought that it probably wasn’t the mess that had overwhelmed her so much she couldn’t finish. Maybe, he realized, that had something to do with all the missing photos too.

It felt weird to be there, where so much had changed and yet nothing had changed at all.

Koz knocked gently on the doorframe, looking in with concern on his face. ‘Don’t look at me that way,’ Jack wanted to say. ‘Don’t act like you care.’ He blinked a few times, hoping his eyes weren’t red.

“The showers free,” he said.

Koz hesitated, his eyes slipping around the room for a second before landing on Jack. It felt so strange to see Koz standing there. He didn’t belong here. Koz was the woods and wolves and hunting and this was Jack’s home – where his mother and sister lived.

Still, while Jack found it weird, it wasn’t necessarily bad. When his father came home it felt like the house was set on a field of landmines, where one misstep could set off an explosion. When Koz walked into the room, it felt more like finding a strange cat had wandered through the open door—it was surprising and unusual, but only dubiously threatening.

“I thought we might discuss our plans first,” Koz said, taking a few steps into the room before pausing.

“What’s to discuss? I’m going to wait until my mom and sister get home, tell them what happened, then we’re going to split town and get away from Manny’s pets. You can do whatever you want.” Jack ground out, bracing himself to hear Koz’s criticism.

Koz took a step forward and Jack shifted uncomfortably on the bed. He mentally chided himself as he saw Koz realize that he was nervous being so close to him. The older man leaned back slightly, pressing his back to Jack’s dresser, but not moving away.

“Do you think they’ll believe you?” He asked. “I know from experience it can be hard to get people to believe in this sort of thing—even you once tried to chalk it up to a drug-trip.”

Jack flushed. “I’ll make them believe me!”

Koz watched him evenly, calculating. “How?”

Jack glared down at his lap. “I don’t know!” He growled.

“I’m not trying to bully you, Jack,” Koz said, unphased by Jack’s anger. “I’m trying to help you.”

Jack snorted in disgust. “Yeah, right,” he said, “you’d rather I were dead.”

There was a pause, the only hint that Jack had struck a chord. Jack looked up to see Koz carefully crafting a neutral expression. God, he’d thought his stoic-ness was cute just the other day but now it was just annoying.

“I don’t rather you were dead,” Koz said. “I told you I regretted it.”

Jack looked away and Koz kept talking.

“I know I have a lot to make up for, but we need to focus on this right now, okay? Keeping your family safe is more important than what’s going on between us.”

Jack balked. He was reminded of all the ‘think of the children’ song and dance his father had gone through the few times his mother made like she was going to leave. At the same time however, he knew he couldn’t deny that he needed Koz. There was a chance his mother wouldn’t believe him, or she wouldn’t want to leave until his father was home or whatever. On some off chance that he couldn’t get his family out of here tonight, they’d need Koz.

He let out a frustrated sigh. “I guess if you want to help, you could back me up. My mom might think that I’m on drugs because I’m a ‘troubled teen’, but you look pretty legit.”

Koz blinked his ‘I’m laughing on the inside’ blink. “Thanks,” he said sardonically.

“The wolves followed me from the woods, even though I rode in a truck all the way here,” Jack said. “Could they follow us if we try to leave?”

Koz frowned (frowns came easy to him, Jack had noticed). “Werewolves are incredible trackers and significantly faster than regular wolves. They certainly could keep up with a moving vehicle for quite a long way and then track by scent beyond that.”

Koz’s eyes glazed in thought. “Of course, if your mother and sister disappeared so soon after you it might mean trouble. Your father might get blamed, but your mother might be suspected. She could end up a wanted criminal. Either way, she’d probably never be able to contact any of the people she knows now.”

Jack bit his lip. His mother wouldn’t leave her abusive husband because it would mean leaving everything. If she wouldn’t do it to protect both of her children, could he really expect her to do it just to see him?

“I don’t know if she’ll want to leave,” he said, avoiding Koz’s eyes. “She might just be happy to hear I’m alive and then . . . y’know, stay home and wait for Dad.”

“Even if she thought she and her daughter were in danger here?”

Jack let out a mirthless laugh. “We weren’t safe whenever my dad was home.” He shrugged helplessly. “They’re in danger here or there, with or without my dad. I don’t think it’ll make any difference to her.” He fell back onto his bed and pressed his hands against his eyes.

He heard a soft sound as Koz approached and quickly yanked his hands away from his face, afraid that Koz would sit on the bed and try to sympathize with him, but he had kept his distance and instead was looking at a collage his sister had made for him when he finished his physical therapy. Most of the photos were of him at therapy with his trainer, but there were a few glamorous shots of him lying in his hospital bed.

Koz noticed him watching and backed away. “We should go,” he said, “until we have a plan on how to get your family out.”

“What if that doesn’t happen before tonight?” Jack asked.

“We’ll have a stake-out,” Koz said simply. “Either way, I think I’ll want to stock up on weapons and ammunition. How nosy are your neighbors, by the way? Do you know?”

“They stood around for over an hour because they thought a mountain lion broke into their neighbor’s kitchen.”

“Point taken,” Koz said with a soft quirk in his eyebrows. “We’ll need to have our stake-out in the woods then; if they’re nosy they’ll question it if a car with tinted windows sits on the street for too long.” Once again Koz was talking about things that seemed completely un-ordinary as if he’d done them a million times before.

With a plan of action more or less figured out, the two separated. Koz went to wash up while Jack went downstairs for lunch—he was still famished. He finished two packets of Poptarts and was still hungry, so he went to the refrigerator to check its contents. Here, there was something else that was new: a small white board calendar with all sorts of engagements written on it.

He could see his mother’s work schedule, his sister’s soccer games, and several meetings with ‘Mr. Hart’, a name Jack recognized from ads as a lawyer.

Jack bit his lip. The situation with his father must have been very serious if they needed a lawyer.

He opened the fridge and rifled around. Instantly he noticed the abundance of take-out containers and the complete lack of beer. Curious, he left the fridge and checked the cabinets. He found flour and sugar and a plethora of sauce mixes, but no liquor.

Had his mom thrown it out? He worried his lip between his teeth. There would be Hell to pay if she’d thrown it out without his father’s consent.

He ate cold, leftover pizza and tried to push aside his curiosity and anxiety about his family. He’d find out what was going on soon enough, once they got home. One step at a time. He finished the pizza and sat at the table, he was exhausted. The only sleep he’d gotten the night before was during the truck ride. But he couldn’t rest yet, he had to plan this out.

As startling as it would be for his mother to come home and find him sitting at the kitchen table with Koz, if he came up to the front door it was possible their reunion would become a neighborhood event: he’d rather not have a crowd when he came out as a werewolf to his mother and subsequently explained how they had been slated for death by a pack of psychotic lycans as part of an initiation ritual and should maybe skip town.

Yeah. Maybe Jack would explain all that after they were on the road.

He heard the sound of car doors slamming shut somewhere outside and froze. His mother couldn’t be home yet, could she? He glanced at the clock over the kitchen table. Two o’clock. His eyes flitted to the calendar on the refrigerator. His mother wasn’t due home for at least an hour.

With the window gone, he could hear the sound of footsteps making their way through the grass outside, but they didn’t come to the front door. Instead the footsteps came right up to the broken window. Jack could just see two shadows on the other side of the wax paper.

He sat frozen, heart pounding in his chest. Were they burglars? Was somebody about to break in? Or were the police back to check the scene again?

“How ‘bout we follow the trail first and see if we can find anything, eh?” A male voice with an Australian accent said from outside.

“Da,” said another, deeper voice with a harsh accent. “Though I doubt we will be finding anything. Not in day time, anyway.” His shadow shrank as its owner ducked down by the wall.

Jack stayed still and listened to the pair’s footsteps as they walked along the side of the house. He caught a glimpse of movement through the windows over the kitchen table and turned just slightly to see two men in matching gray animal control uniforms, carrying tranquilizer guns.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the two disappeared into the forest. It would be too easy for them to spot him when they came back out of the trees, so he quickly ducked into the living room.

Confident he wouldn’t be spotted, he got out his mother’s laptop. He booted up the old machine and searched for information about his disappearance—namely about whether or not his dad was in jail.

This turned out to be surprisingly difficult. The Burgess and Whitestown papers were the only ones doing coverage (Claussen was too big and too busy to care about locals in the next town over (the opposite of the Whitestown paper)). Both papers didn’t have much on him at all, other than the article about how his father got brought in for questioning. Jack sighed. He knew he shouldn’t have expected much, he was a troubled teen boy from a bad, not quite-poor-but-not-quite-middle-class family in a small town. His disappearance was never going to make national headlines, but he’d still sort of expected it to at least be the talk of the town.

He shouldn’t complain too much though, he scolded himself. There were probably people kidnapped or murdered who only had a photo on a milk-carton or some homemade missing person’s poster . . . like Koz.

Jack did a quick search of Koz’s name, trying to remember how they’d spelled it on his poster. He found nothing, even after altering the spelling just in case. Nothing. Now he’d gone and done it—he was feeling bad for Koz when he was supposed to be mad at him.

He sighed again and closed out of the browser, shut down the laptop, and stowed it back where he’d found it. He was still hoping to talk to his family that night, but he reluctantly agreed with Koz that he needed a plan—especially with Manny’s pack involved—and if he wasn’t going to greet his family at the door, he certainly wasn’t going to scare them by letting them come home to a house where everything had mysteriously moved around.

He glanced at the couch, wondering if he had some time for a quick nap when Koz appeared at the stairs. His hair was wet, but combed back so it looked the same as usual, albeit a little drooped from the weight of the water. It was the first time in a long, long while that Jack had seen his hair combed. He looked very sharp.

‘No,’ he scolded himself, ‘don’t fall for it again.’

“I was thinking,” Koz said as he paused on the stairway, “that we should check and see where your father is.”

“I just looked online—there’s nothing on where he is now, just that he was brought in for questioning a few days ago.”

Koz frowned. “They couldn’t hold him for questioning for longer than twenty-four hours without making an arrest—and if the papers got so excited about him getting brought in for questioning, I’m sure they would’ve released something if he had been arrested.”

Jack bit his lip. “So whatever our ‘plan’ is, we’ll have to include him. Great.”

“Come on then,” Koz said, “we can brain-storm on the way to get supplies.” He walked down the last step and stopped, head quirked to the side suddenly, as if he were listening to something.

Jack froze, listening as well. He could just hear footsteps around the side of the house. “Oh,” he said quietly. “There’s some animal control guys outside.”

Koz frowned. “They were already here,” he said quietly, silently walking into the kitchen.

The two shadows were at the window again, one large and thick and the other thinner. The thinner one’s head moved, looking this way and that. “Seems like it was quite the dog fight,” he said. “What are you thinking, North?”

Koz jerked back like he’d been shot. He clapped a hand over his mouth. Jack stepped forward silently. “What?” He barely breathed, suddenly twice as anxious. Had Koz smelled something? Were the control officers actually werewolves or something?

Koz was incredibly still. “That’s North and Bunny.”

For a moment Jack was confused. Who? Then he remembered. North and Bunny. Koz’s hunting partners. He raised his eyebrows.

Koz pressed his lips together and nodded, face pale. He slid to the floor silently, putting a finger to his lips. Jack followed suit, lowering himself to the floor. If the two outside could see anything through the wax paper, they wouldn’t be able to see the two of them beneath the counter tops.

Jack glanced at Koz and saw him watching the hunters’ shadows with a sad, hungry look in his eyes.

Jack turned his attentions back to the men. The thin one who’d just spoke—Bunny—looked about while North knelt just beneath the window. Jack heard a click and a noise he recognized as measuring tape being drawn out.

“Definitely a wolf,” North said, his voice thick with a Russian accent. Between his Russian accent, Bunny’s Australian accent, and Koz’s British accent, Jack was sure it would be fun to be in a room with the three of them. “We’ll check inside when the family gets home.”

Bunny shifted his weight. “Look, I know you don’t want to consider it but—“

“It probably bled on grass when it broke through. Animal control would take sample—we hack into computer and confirm later.” He slunk away, acting as if Bunny hadn’t spoken.

“You can’t keep ignoring me, mate. This attack here and those campers—it could’ve been—“

“Look at claw marks!” North said, his shadow jerking forward as he pointed. “Too close together for full-grown. A pup left them. Check yourself if you want. Is not him.”

Jack's brow furrowed in confusion. What campers? What were they talking about?

“Those campers weren’t killed by a pup.”

“They also weren’t killed by a lone wolf.”

“Yeah, I got a theory about that,” Bunny said. “Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that this family’s boy goes missing and then a werewolf pup breaks into their home?”

North nodded at length. “Yes, I too thought the two might be related. The Overland boy might be werewolf now.”

“But who turned him?”

“Bunny—”

Bunny held up his hands defensively. “I’m just saying—we do know one werewolf with a tendency of going off on his own who’s currently missing. And you said he’d been acting squirrely before he left.” 

Koz let out a heavy breath and Jack looked across at him. They were talking about Koz. They thought Koz had turned him. They thought the two of them had attacked him family!

“Koz wouldn’t bite anyone—not unless moon was full—”

“It was!” Bunny hissed desperately. “It was full and he didn’t come home, North!”

There was a pause and then North spoke quietly. “I’m sure he took precaution. Koz is careful . . .” His voice trailed off, as if he doubted his own words. “He wouldn’t turn the boy,” he said quickly, his tone assured. “And he for sure would not harm those campers.” North turned away, his shadow disappearing from the wax paper—but Bunny wasn’t ready to let the subject drop.

“What if he did, eh?” He asked. “I mean . . . you said he’s been acting strange and all the old accounts of werewolves say they’re evil. Maybe that’s just medieval superstition—but what if it isn’t? What if one of the changes that occurs with a werewolf’s bite is to their minds? Koz could be doing awful things and he just doesn’t realize he’s doing anything wrong ‘cause the wolf in him is messing with his head!”

Koz shifted uneasily beside Jack and Jack almost wanted to scold him—he didn’t want to be caught by these hunters! But he was also alarmed at what he was hearing. Were their personalities going to change because of the bite? He remembered how the first time he’d met wolf-Koz he’d been tame—cuddly even—and the second, he’d tried to attack Jack. Was Koz going to change so his personality was like that—like some super aggressive predator—even when he was human? Was Jack going to become like that?

For the first time, Jack seriously reconsidered going home. He didn’t want to rejoin his family only to become a blight worse than his father.

But what about Jamie? He’d been a werewolf for years it sounded like, and he wasn’t murderous. But then again, his sister sort of was and he’d said his father and uncle weren’t nice either. His father had even killed his mother for Christ’s sake! And Jamie wasn’t a sparkling image of morality either. He’d joined Manny’s pack, hadn’t he? The ambiguous moralities Jack had accepted before suddenly became questionable. Were the werewolves acting in reaction to complicated situations as he first thought or were they simply working on some psychotic werewolf aggression?

“I don’t know,” North spoke at length. “I do think Koz is not doing so well, but I am thinking he is just depressed. He is having a hard time, you know? And you are not helping, I might add.” He sighed. “I only hope he returns so we can clear this all up. I’m very worried about Seraphina—“

“How’s the little sheila doing?” Bunny’s tone changed completely in an instant. Even his shadow’s posture changed. “I’ve been worried sick about the little bird.” His voice carried so much love and concern; Jack suddenly realized why Koz had defended him as a friend even after telling him that Bunny had tried to kill him.

“You know Seraphina,” North said, his shoulders slumping. “She’s a teenager and Koz’s daughter. She is keeping everything to herself. I am thinking of taking her to see Tooth.”

“Struth,” Bunny sighed. “That bad?”

“I told her Koz is bitten.”

Koz tensed beside him and Jack glanced his way. Koz looked like he was going to be sick.

“Are you crazy?” Bunny snapped. “Man, even if Koz isn’t going off his rocker, he’ll still kill ya when he finds out.”

“I know, I know—but she kept asking questions and I hate lying. She already knew anyway—of course she noticed when Koz left every month around full moon . . . then that time Koz is getting lose.”

“Struth . . .”

“Da,” North sighed. “I can see why Koz didn’t say anything to her. She is worrying too much. But she is not saying anything of course.” He shrugged. “She broods.”

“Like father, like daughter,” Bunny said, sounding half annoyed, half fond.

“Da,” North sounding miserable. “I caught her crying the other night.”

Koz let out a quiet, horrific sound and buried his face in his hands, his breath coming unevenly.

“Did you hear that?” Bunny’s head whipped around as he raised his tranquilizer gun. Jack thought his heart might burst, he was so scared.

“Maybe a bird?” North suggested, sounding like he didn’t believe his own words for an instant.

Jack hardly dared to breathe as the two hunters left the window and stalked around the side yard. Looking over his shoulder, he could just see the two of them through the windows over the kitchen table. One was a springy sort of man. He couldn’t have been older than Koz, but his mousy brown hair was streaked with grey. He didn’t look bad though—with his squared jaw, and stubbled chin . . . he was actually a babe. 

Koz had said North was the more experienced, so the second man—who was at least fifty—must have been North (which mean the hottie was the werewolf-hater, Bunny). North was the sort of large person who was not only wide but very tall. However, there was a certain sway in his movements that said his thick middle wasn’t all chub. In short: he looked like a bear. He had a thick salt and pepper beard and his matching-colored hair was long and tied back in a ponytail.

The two carried their tranquilizer guns with the professionalism of a trained SWAT team. They combed the edge of the wood, moving low and careful and reminding Jack very much of Koz.

He looked back at his companion and found him trembling, palms pressed hard over his eyes. Jack couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Maybe that made him weak, but even while Koz was a lying, slightly murderous creep, he was also a caring father and he was suffering.

Jack reached over and rested a hand on Koz’s shoulder, feeling the man start slightly at the touch. Jack rubbed a few shallow circles across his back before his hand went still. Koz’s hands slid down his face and he gazed at Jack with red, but dry eyes.

Jack looked back at him. He wanted to tell Koz he didn’t trust him, that he didn’t forgive him; but they were both in this together and Jack liked that better than being alone. He wanted to tell Koz he was sorry things weren’t working out for him, but he couldn’t, the hunters were out in the yard, debating whether or not Jack’s footprints were part of animal control’s or not.

They sat there, still and quiet, until a car pulled up. Jack could tell by the position that it was on the driveway next to the house. He heard a car door slam shut. All attention, both from the hunters and the wolves, shifted as Jack’s mother got out of the car. Jack thought his heart might explode as he and Koz exchanged wide-eyed looks.

What would happen if she found them here with those hunters outside? What would they do? He could hear his mother’s footsteps coming up the sidewalk in front of the house.

He stood up and Koz rose as well. They were probably going to give her a heart attack, but at least they’d get it over with quickly.

“Hello ma’am!” North voice boomed so loudly, Koz and Jack both jumped.

Jack could just hear his mother quietly acknowledge him. Koz took three giant, quiet steps forward and looked through the front door’s peephole. He looked back at Jack. “They’re both out there with her.”

“My name is Scott Claus.” North’s voice was too large to not overhear. “I’m with animal control.”

Jack’s mother still seemed hesitant. “Oh,” she said. “Well, some officers came this morning . . .” North’s boisterous voice was easy to hear even at a distance, but Jack’s mother’s voice sounded like a whisper in the next room it was so small.

“Yes,” North said. “We’re from the Claussen animal control. I’m sure you heard about the campers who were attacked last night?”

“You think they might be related?”

“We’re certainly suspicious!” Bunny said. “Peter Briar, nice to meet you.”

Koz moved away from the door, grabbed Jack’s arm, and pulled him toward the back of the house. Jack, at a loss for what to do, obeyed him silently. They slipped out the back door, across the yard, and ducked into the trees. It wasn’t until they’d gone in far enough that Jack could barely see his house that his heart stopped pounding. This was turning out to be more complicated than he’d thought.


	9. Do Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired of writing summaries, can you tell?

It was only mid-afternoon, so Koz thankfully got ahead of traffic as they left Burgess and made for Mr. Qwerty’s. Jack was quiet the whole way. Koz was used to the cold shoulder—he had an adolescent daughter after all—but getting snubbed over no extra piercings wasn’t quite the same as ‘I’m hurt and angry that you plotted my death’.

Koz wasn’t sure how to fix this. The most he could do, he figured, was protect Jack’s family. If Tooth were here, she’d probably point out that he was acting as though saving Jack’s family was a do-over for failing to protect Jack. He was cool-headed enough to think it; he was self-aware enough to admit it. He wanted to save Jack’s family not only because it was his job as a hunter, and not just in a vain attempt to win Jack’s forgiveness, but also to redeem himself for his previous failures.

They picked up supplies at Koz’s storage locker and then headed for the Whitestown grocery for food supplies. They still had their groceries from the other day, but unfortunately most of it was canned goods, which would last a while, but weren’t very useful on stake-outs. All the rest of it required preparation or had too strong a scent to risk using in a situation where you needed to avoid being detected by anything with a keen sense of smell. 

They spoke little. Jack was thoughtful—Koz was too.

Removing Jack’s family from the situation was a short-term solution. If the wolves were truly committed to causing the family harm, they could track them with relative ease. Koz tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he considered of all the ways they could fool any pursuers—sticking to crowded places, disguising their scents with perfumes and the like, switching vehicles regularly, and so on.

But even then, it would be hard for Jack’s family to drop everything and leave forever—it would be better to move them temporarily then implement a long-term solution, like kill Manny.

Koz sighed. If Manny were easy to kill, it would’ve been done before. For now, he was hoping they could monitor the situation. It could be the wolves wouldn't come back again and he was worrying for nothing. He highly doubted that was the case, but he could hope.

He parked the Mystery Machine in the grocery store car park and the two got out in silence.

Perhaps they could discover what Manny’s plans were through Jamie? The boy was obviously hesitant about what the Czar was doing, and he and Jack seemed to have some sort of bond. If only he’d asked more about it when they’d spoken together! He’d been so distracted after they first saw Manny, then he’d tried to force himself to forget, going to that party . . .

The party. It seemed extraordinary, but Koz had almost forgotten the massacre. Sometimes his skills in compartmentalizing were more than a little alarming. 

They walked through the store’s automatic doors into the foyer, passing the same line of newspapers as the day before—and it was astonishing, really, that it’d only been that long—and there on the front page, read: ‘Massacre at Claussen Campgrounds, 9 Dead’.

Jack followed his gaze before he could look away.

“Whoa,” he said, finally breaking his silence. “We were right near there!”

Koz winced. “We were exactly there,” he said. “Manny attacked that party we crashed.”

Jack’s head whipped around to face him, his eyes wide. He stared at Koz silently a moment, seeming to process the older man’s words. “Th-those guys—those kids are dead.” He spoke not to Koz, but to himself, as if he were trying to grasp the concept. “Why?” He looked up at Koz, eyes wide with shock, terribly young.

Koz glanced around, feeling strangely ashamed. This was a bad idea. Jack was in such a vulnerable position right now, he should’ve known better than to—

“It was my fault,” Jack said suddenly and Koz started. “I was the one who wanted to go to the circus and the party—I practically brought the wolves to them!” The young man looked away, running both hands through his hair, face drawn and pale.

Koz shook his head. “No-you couldn’t have known. I shouldn’t have taken you to the party after Manny saw us—he hounded you for so long, I should have realized he wouldn’t just let us leave like that . . .”

Jack was breathing rapidly. Koz feared he would have a panic attack—or maybe be sick. Koz nearly had a breakdown the first time someone died indirectly through his own actions, now he was unfortunately used to that burden of responsibility—he didn’t like it, but it was familiar. Jack wasn’t used to the feeling. Koz stepped forward and reached out for Jack’s shoulder before he thought better of it and let his hand drop back to his sides.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Koz said evenly. There was a slight squeal behind them as the grocery store’s automatic doors opened. The two of them fell silent as another grocery store patron walked past, totally absorbed in her phone.

Koz took a deep breath and continued on in a quieter voice: “It’s Manny’s fault. He thinks because werewolves are violent we must let ourselves be violent—he could have followed us without harming any of them, but he chose to kill them for no other reason than that he could.”

Jack’s voice was hardly more than a whisper. “But he wouldn’t have been there if he weren’t tracking us.”

“Yes,” Koz admitted. “But he very well might have killed some other people someplace else! It’s not—it wasn’t like your car accident, where you wouldn’t have been hurt if one person weren’t involved—it wasn’t an accident. He wanted to hurt them, we merely offered a setting.”

Jack bit his lip. “What about my family?” He wrapped his arms around himself and fixed his gaze on the dirty floor tiles. “I’ve already lead his pack to them—what if they get killed just like those campers?”

“I won’t let that happen.”

Jack’s gaze snapped up from the floor to Koz’s face. “That’s what you said to me before I got bitten!” 

Koz winced and glanced behind him. One of the cashiers was giving them a dodgy look, but they weren’t close enough to overhear. “I know,” he said, keeping his voice low, “I mean it as much then as I do now. I’ll figure out a way to make it work this time.”

Jack gaze didn’t soften. He took a step back. “And what if you fail?” Ha asked, voice cold. “What if you don’t save them and they get turned like me? Will you kill them?”

The honest answer was that he wasn’t sure. A whole family of werewolves was a huge liability. Plus from what Koz knew, Jack’s father wasn’t exactly a trustworthy person. He didn’t know many werewolves that could co-exist peacefully amongst humans—but then, that was most likely because all the werewolves he’d known were the ones who caused enough problems to catch a hunter’s notice. But Jack didn’t want to hear all this, so Koz simply said. “I won’t.” Then, because he knew his word meant little to Jack now anyway, he added: “Even if I tried, I’m confident you could stop me.”

Jack nodded as if to say ‘damn right, I’d stop you’ before turning to look at the newspaper one last time. He frowned, once again reminding Koz of a frightened child, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s just get what we came here to get and leave.”

Koz frowned and nodded. “All right.” He let Jack have one last look at the article detailing the camper’s massacre before he led him away. Koz had been truthful when he said it was Manny’s fault—but he could have done more to prevent it, so he was also responsible. Unlike Jack however, Koz was a little more used to handling such an emotional burden. Those nine campers were just nine more souls to haunt him on lonely, dark nights—the same as he’d been haunted by his failure with Jack. He took a deep breath and tried to recall what Tooth always told him when things got bad like this. ‘Move on. Do better.’ He would do better. He would save Jack’s family.

***

After a hasty, late lunch, they dropped off the van at a local parking lot and carried their things back to Jack’s house. People were starting to come home now and Jack was glad Koz had grabbed a spare jacket at Mr. Qwerty’s for him to wear. The leather was heavy and unfamiliar, but it had a hood so he could at least hide his face.

They snuck into the forest and made their way to the stretch of woods behind his house. The house seemed empty. Jack couldn’t remember what the calendar had said—perhaps his sister had soccer practice, perhaps his mother was meeting with their lawyer—he didn’t know where they were. They weren’t at his house, and neither, thankfully, were Bunny and North.

Jack’s mind wandered as they made their way over fallen branches and dead leaves. The day was cool, but not enough that his leather jacket wasn’t overly warm. He barely noticed though. He kept remembering the faces of the kids from the party. 

He hadn’t even gotten phone-number guy’s name and he very well might’ve been killed. Nine dead. There definitely had been more than nine people at the party—had the others not been there, or had they survived with only a bite for their trouble? 

Koz walked ahead of him, searching the tops of the trees the nearer they got to Jack’s house. Finally he seemed to find one to his liking. He set down and began arranging the heavy bags he’d taken from his storage locker. Opening them, he pulled out lengths of rope and nails.

Jack stood by, still lost in thought. He could imagine crawling into his sleeping bag after a long party—sleepy, drunk, and full, tired from a night of excitement and laughter—only to wake to the screams of his friends as pale beasts of teethandblood leapt out of the darkandpain-rippinghisworldtopieces.

“Jack?”

Jack was snapped from his thoughts at the sound of Koz’s voice. He realized he was breathing heavily, hands clenched at his sides. Koz was looking at him with such care and concern. A few days ago Jack might have been tempted to let Koz wrap him in his arms and reassure him until Jack started to believe everything would be okay. But Jack couldn’t do that now—he wanted to—but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t be like his mother—cowering from his father one moment and snuggling next to him on the couch the next.

“I’m fine,” Jack said. “What’s up?”

“Our camp sight.” Koz pointed at the boughs of a massive oak Jack had fond memories of climbing.

Jack looked up, incredulous. “We’re staying up there?”

“I’m setting up a tree stand.”

“A what?”

“Like a hunting stand up in the trees,” Koz said. “It’s less likely we’ll be spotted—by humans or wolves. Nobody remembers to look up.”

Jack glanced at the tree’s thick branches. “Hide over their heads, huh? Like Spiderman.”

“Exactly.” Koz smiled in that strange way of his—not quite smiling, but giving off a sense of fondness just through the slightest change at the corner of his mouth. For a moment, things were as they had been. Jack made some silly pop-culture reference, Koz gave a sardonic reply, and then they moved on. 

Jack took a step back, biting his lip and running a hand through his hair. “So how do we do this?” He asked.

The tree stand was a small metal platform that hung off the side of the oak’s thick trunk. They took turns between setting up the stand or bringing supplies—both of which involved a lot of climbing, firmly wedging themselves between tree branches, fending off late-season insects, and prayer. Lots of prayer. It would almost have been fun—like setting up a secret fort—but for the reason why they were building it.

Occasionally they’d rest and discuss how they could get Jack’s family away. Much as Jack disliked it, it more and more seemed likely that they were going to have to lie. He didn’t mind lying once in a while, but the situation seemed desperate enough that he should just be honest. At the end of the day though, no matter what they said to get his family to leave, if they managed it they’d likely end up wanted criminals, leaving behind all they had and knew. Much as the stakeout felt like treading water, the alternative seemed too confusing and complicated to act on.

Jack’s mother came home not long after they’d finished setting up the tree stand. She was dressed sharply, definitely a meeting with the lawyer then.

Koz and Jack hauled themselves up into their hiding place and settled in. Some of the tree’s leaves were starting to yellow, but thankfully the foliage was still clinging to summer and they had plenty of green cover to conceal their presence.

Another news crew showed up and Koz and Jack watched as the neighbors gathered on the sidewalk to gossip and talk to the reporter. It must’ve been a slow day for the local news, but of course every day was slow for Jack’s neighbors.

Jack leaned back in the stand, putting his back to the rough tree bark. Koz copied him, sitting with his legs stretched out before him, feet dangling over the edge of the stand, and his arms crossed over his chest. He put his head down and apparently started napping.

Jack wished he could rest. He was exhausted, not just from setting up the stand, but from the whole day and night’s events. Still, he forced himself to stay up. Evening was setting in and Emma still wasn’t home yet. She must have been at soccer practice, but she should have been done by now.

The lights were on in the kitchen and Jack could just see his mother’s feet as she bustled around the kitchen preparing dinner. He bit his lip. If he were there, he could go pick up Emma while his mother finished dinner. His stomach turned at the thought that his father might be collecting her. The last time Jack’s father had been in charge of picking up one of his children from practice, things hadn’t gone so well.

He needn’t have worried however. Miss Clavel appeared at the side of the house, leading Emma by the hand once more. She must have revved up her old AMC Pacer (affectionately but also spitefully named “The Shit Pile”) and picked up Emma from practice.

Jack was glad, but also uneasy. He didn’t want his father around, but not knowing where he was felt like losing track of a spider—he just felt anxious and uncomfortable, waiting for him to show up again in the worst place.

But he didn’t.

The neighbors all went inside. The houses along the street lit up as the evening wound down. Jack watched his mother, sister, and Miss Clavel, sit down to eat. He wished he were down there with them. They were on a bland food diet to keep their smell to a minimum. As he watched the three below enjoy a warm meal, he and Koz ate carrots and protein bars.

He watched Miss Clavel start across their yard, heading back home. A van pulled up to the curb just in Jack’s line of sight. A sign on the side read ‘Claussen Animal Control’. What were they doing here?

Evidently, Miss Clavel was wondering the same thing. She approached the driver’s side and waited patiently as the person inside rolled down the tinted window.

Jack’s eyes widened to see North smiling at his neighbor. He couldn’t hear what he said, but judging by his face, it was something comforting but professional. Miss Clavel seemed satisfied at least. She started on down the street.

Just before North rolled up the window, Jack caught sight of Bunny in the seat next to him. Neither of them got out. The minutes dragged by and the van didn’t move.

“Looks like we aren’t the only ones doing a stakeout,” Koz spoke, making Jack jump. “The good thing about them being here, is that we don’t need to move your family immediately. Between the four of us, we should be able to protect them.” He yawned and stretched his neck and arms. On cue, Jack realized how uncomfortable he was. He followed Koz in stretching.

“Of course, the bad part about them being here is we can’t move your family immediately.” Koz finished stretching and let out a long breath. “If you try to approach your family with them watching you’ll definitely catch their attention. Based on what we heard earlier, they suspect you of killing those campers, so you certainly don’t want to show up and tell your family you’re a werewolf until they’re gone.”

“When will that be?” Jack asked.

“I’m not sure,” Koz admitted. “Perhaps until you are no longer a suspect. Or until another lead draws them away . . .” he trailed off.

Jack frowned. He was scared as hell to be reunited with his family, but he also wanted it more than anything and he didn’t appreciate another delay.

Koz nudged him. “Don’t worry,” he said. “This may complicate things, but we’re better off than we were. Your family is in good hands.”

“Because they weren’t before?” Jack snarked.

“Well,” Koz said with a wince, “they’re in more good hands. We can watch the back of the house while they watch the front.”

Jack looked at Koz, eyebrow raised. “But they don’t know we’re here.”

“It might be tricky to explain everything to them,” he said. “Especially since they suspect I’m going mad.” It was getting dark beneath the cover of the trees, but Jack could just see Koz’s frown. It wasn’t his usual, resting-face frown; he was genuinely troubled. “I’ve heard the theory before, but never anything for sure. It doesn’t help that I don’t know any non-aggressive werewolves. All the ones I’ve gone after were dangerous.”

Jack shook his head. He was worried about it too, but he’d decided that in this situation he was going to cling to denial as long as he could. “I don’t think it’s true,” he said. “Jamie made it sound like he’d been a werewolf since his sister was a baby, and he’s not crazy.”

Koz gently pushed a beetle away from himself along the platform floor. “He was definitely part of that massacre on the campers though,” he said at length. “When Manny showed up, Jamie was there with his sister and they smelled like . . .” His eyes found Jack’s and he fell silent.

Jack swallowed, drawing his knees to his chest. He hadn’t realized . . . or perhaps he’d just ignored the likelihood that Jamie was involved. He’d thought he had something in common with Jamie. They both wanted to protect their little sisters and keep their family in one piece. Jack had thought he could understand Jamie’s drive to go to great lengths to accomplish that, but now he wasn’t so sure. 

He wrapped his arms around his knees and looked at Koz out of the corner of his eye. “If either of us is going to start going crazy, it’ll be you first.”

“I know,” Koz said darkly, his lips pursed. “If I really start to change like that, I will kill myself and if I can’t do it . . .” He looked sidelong at Jack. “You could give me a little payback for trying to kill you I suppose. I can damn near guarantee you won’t fail if it comes to that.”

The thought made Jack’s stomach turn. He shook his head. “I don’t think I’m that pissed about it,” he said.

“My point is,” Koz said. “I don’t want to become more of a monster than I already am. Let’s make an agreement—”

Jack blanched. He wasn’t Koz’s biggest defender now, but he still didn’t like the way he talked about himself, and he definitely didn’t want to make some crazy suicide pact with him. “Don’t call yourself a monster,” he said.

“Have I somehow redeemed myself?” Koz sneered. “What makes you say that?”

“If trying to kill me just because I’m a werewolf makes you a monster, then your friends over there are monsters too. And if being a werewolf—even one who’s never hurt anybody—makes you one, then I’m a monster.” He glared at Koz. “So stop it.”

Koz seemed to deflate some, the fight leaving him suddenly. He looked up toward the house, the conversation dropped. Silence fell between them as the sun dipped low and the temperature dropped. Jack let out a quiet sigh. It was going to be a long night.

***

Stakeouts weren’t enjoyable at the best of times, but with things still tense between Jack and Koz, it was downright unpleasant.

Koz spent most of the evening dozing and spacing out. His thoughts bounced between Bunny’s theory of werewolves mental transformation and the sound of North’s voice saying: ‘I caught her crying the other night’. His heart clenched painfully each time.

He’d known this was going to happen. The fear and anxiety she was going through now were nothing compared to the pain she was about to go through. He couldn’t be too angry that North had revealed him to be a werewolf; it might give her time to adjust before she got his letter. Maybe, after she’d already adjusted to the idea of him being a werewolf, she’d be able to understand a little better why he’d run off to kill himself.

Except he wasn’t doing that now, was he? He was going to stay alive and look after Jack while staying away from Seraphina. That way she’d be safe and Koz could ensure Jack did no harm. But . . . he was tempted. Maybe he could write to her? Or phone her? All he’d need to do was check in with Sandy and the letters he’d written would get tossed out. Then he could give North a call, explain the arrangement to him and be a bloody phone-in father for the rest of his life.

He bit his lip. Would it be better to be a phone-in father than a presumed dead father?

And then he doubted he could keep his distance. Even if he wouldn’t be tempted to sneak in-person visits (and he would), if North and Bunny thought he might be losing his mind to the point where they suspected him of being the cause of that massacre, they’d very likely do all in their power to hunt him down. Going home or being caught would mean close supervision, possibly even death. He wasn’t sure if North would really try to kill him, but Bunny would. He appreciated it. Even when he’d been laid up with a silver bullet wound in his shoulder after he got loose, he’d been so damn happy that Bunny was willing to kill him. Now? Not as much.

And even if by some miracle, Bunny let him slide, Jack’s chances were worse.

No, it would be easier for Koz to disappear entirely—though it would be hard for him. He’d simply have to consider the pain his punishment for all the heartache he was about to put Seraphina through—what he was putting her through right now. He was resolved, but his hatred of the resolution left him with a bitter taste in his mouth.

“This is so boring,” Jack groaned. “I thought stake-outs would be cooler.”

Koz smirked slightly. “No, they’re mostly about trying not to fall asleep.” He kept his voice low.

Jack wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face in his sleeves.

Koz looked towards the house and noticed an elderly woman marching down the sidewalk, bearing a large Tupperware container in her bony arms. He’d seen her leave the house nearly twenty minutes ago and then earlier today, leading Jack’s sister about by the hand. “Who’s that?” He asked, mostly out of boredom. 

Jack raised his head. “Miss Clavel,” he said. “Probably bringing over some cookies.”

“Neighborhood busy-body?” Koz eyed the Tupperware she carried and suddenly felt very hungry. He reached for the bag of protein bars.

“Not really,” Jack said with a snort. “More like the neighborhood grandma. She used to be our go-to babysitter. Then she forgot a roast in the oven and almost burned her house down.”

“Good God,” Koz said, watching the tottering woman with brows high. Jack chuckled.

“She’s a nice lady, I used to mow her lawn for her . . .” Jack trailed off, evidently remembering that he wasn’t speaking to Koz.

“Tell me about her,” Koz urged as he unwrapped the bar. “It’ll give us something to do.” 

Jack sighed, letting his arms fall to his sides. “She knows all the kids on the block, so whenever the ice cream truck comes, she buys popsicles for any of the kids that aren’t there. When I finally got home from the hospital, she brought over a whole bag of popsicles she’d bought for me. That and the phone number of the guy who mowed her lawn while I was away—he was a babe.”

Koz’s eyebrows rose. “She got you a date?”

“She got me laid.”

“Oh my God,” Koz choked on his protein bar. When he’d finally managed to swallowed properly he spoke: “She doesn’t look the type to be a wingman.”

“She’d always get me the numbers of gay guys she met. She was the only adult I ever came out to so she thought it was like . . . her mission to help me find the right guy.” 

Koz smirked. They could more or less see into the kitchen. Jack’s sister set plates on the table while the old woman—Miss Clavel—set down the Tupperware. He could tell by the misting on the plastic that the cookies inside were freshly made. He wrenched his thoughts away from warm, homemade food.

“What about your family?” He asked. “Do they know?”

Jack laughed a tired, bitter thing. “Are you kidding? They had enough to worry about besides my sexuality. I didn’t know how my parents would react either and . . . well there are normal families out there that kick their kids out for being gay—what could possibly happen in a screwed up family like mine?” His fingers traced the lines of the stand floor. “I kind of just thought I’d ignore all that until after I graduated, got a job, got my own place, and got custody of my sister.”

Koz was quiet a moment. He didn’t want to point out that a lot of parts in that plan were unlikely even before Jack had been bitten—they were next to impossible now. He crumpled the empty protein bar in his hands. “A plan like that would take a long time to implement,” he said finally.

“I know,” Jack said. “I did research. Even if I went to college and got a nice job, it could take years to get my own place and get my sister out. Plus I probably won’t be getting into college. Since my accident, I don’t really have a chance at the track scholarship I was hoping for. On the bright side, I won’t have crippling life-long debt. On the downside, it’ll take even longer and be even harder to get my sister out.”

Koz looked back at the house and watched the family and their neighbor tuck into their dessert. Even from so far away he could tell they weren’t quite the happy, boisterous group they could be. There was a clipped edge to the smiles they offered one another as they spoke that hinted that a lot of it was just for show. Part of their family was absent, but they were desperate to pretend not to notice.

He thought Jack’s plan was very brave. He also thought it was completely improbable now that Jack was a werewolf. He just didn’t have the heart or the energy to say so. So he switched subjects.

“You’ve mentioned your accident a few times now,” he said, throwing the protein bar’s wrapper in the bag with the rest of their food. “I know you were badly hurt. May I ask what happened?”

Jack frowned, biting his lip. “I suppose you’ve heard enough shit about my family,” he said at last. “You can’t judge us too much more . . .” He resumed tracing the patterns on the platform floor. “So usually my mom picked me up from track after she got off work, but this time she took her friend’s hours and my dad had to come get me. He was drunk—not as wasted as he can get to be, but definitely drunk.” Jack let out a long breath. 

Koz got the feeling Jack didn’t have practice telling this story. Even while Jack traced the stand’s floor, his other hand fiddled with the worn fabric over his knees. Koz folded his hands in his lap and watched his companion evenly.

“I know I shouldn’t have gotten in the car,” Jack continued, licking his lips. “But all the kids on my street knew about him and it was so embarrassing, I didn’t want to make a scene . . .” He let out a mirthless laugh. “And there definitely would have been a scene if I didn’t get in the car. The worst thing you can do when my dad’s drunk is tell him he’s drunk. All my friends were in track and they kind of knew about my family but I didn’t want them to actually see . . . so I got in and he ran a red light across state road 37.” Jack gestured feebly towards the highway. “Then we got t-boned by a semi going full speed.” 

He held up both hands and shrugged as if to say ‘what are you going to do?’ Then looked away.

Many thoughts were going through Koz’s head: a frightened, parental impatience with Jack for getting in with a drunk driver, a vicious, snarling anger at his father (along with an intense desire to slowly break all of the man’s fingers), but mostly he was in awe. “How are you alive?”

“Grace of God,” Jack laughed and it almost sounded genuine. “I honestly don’t remember much after that ‘cause, believe it or not, getting hit with a semi knocked me out. Also I had a small concussion.”

“Really?” Koz raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, like a tiny one,” Jack said in a voice that hinted it was actually very serious. “Plus some broken ribs, collapsed lung, broken femur, dislocated shoulder, a bunch of cuts, one hell of a bruise on my whole right side, and some very intense whip-lash.” He smiled a little wickedly. “But I had my hood up, so not as much glass went into my head as there could’ve . . . unlike my dad. He hit his head on his window so hard he broke it.”

Jack shifted, his smile sagging slightly as he rested his hands on his knees. “I probably shouldn’t let that make me feel so happy.”

“Well he did involve you in a serious car crash,” Koz said, happy to make a quick judgmental comment on Jack’s father if it would stop Jack from thinking he should feel guilty.

“Yeah . . .” Jack said, unconvinced.

“He could’ve killed you. How did he not go to jail?”

“Also grace of God,” Jack snorted in disgust. “The EMTs forgot to check his blood-alcohol levels. Pretty much the entire time I was in the hospital he was trying to get clean but obviously that didn’t last.” Jack looked away, face thoughtful. Koz held his silence, thinking the boy was going to say something. He wasn’t disappointed. Jack’s brow drew and he frowned. “I’ve never really thought about it but he could’ve killed me.”

Koz tried not to feel exasperated. When he was a police officer, he’d been called to enough domestic disturbances to know how abuse victims downplayed the severity of their injuries, even if they didn’t mean to. “You hadn’t thought that?”

“I mean,” Jack licked his lips, “I thought ‘I could’ve died!’ but didn’t really think ‘he could’ve killed me!’” His frown deepened. “And I lost my chance at a track scholarship because of that. So he almost killed me, but he succeeded in fucking over my future.”

“Didn’t you get lost in the woods in the first place because he chased you?” Koz said, raising an eyebrow.

“I did!” Jack pressed his hands against his eyes. “Oh my God, I’m a werewolf and it’s partly my dad’s fault!” He lifted his head and looked upward. “God, he’s such a- a—“

Koz twiddled his thumbs. “Tit?”

“—Fucker, but thanks.”

Koz nearly smiled. “Don’t mention it.”

Jack looked at him with a grateful smile. Then the smile was gone and the young man reached over and pinched his arm so suddenly; Koz couldn’t help the surprised gasp he let out. “You’re a fucker too,” Jack said fiercely. “I just want you to know you still aren’t forgiven.”

Koz’s humor dissolved in an instant. “I promise you,” he said, “I’ll make it up to you. And if you think there’s no way I could, remember that I mean what I say—no matter what it takes, I will make it up to you.”

In the gloom he could see Jack roll his eyes. “That’s exactly what Dad said when I woke up in the hospital.” He shook his head, silently rejecting anything Koz might have been preparing to say. “I just . . . I know we have to stay together, so I want us to move on. But at the same time, I don’t forgive you.”

There was a tight feeling in Koz’s chest; a knot of many different feelings tangled up inside of him. He didn’t want to be compared to Jack’s father, but he was self-depreciating enough that he couldn’t deny he deserved it. The irony that Jack would tell him he wasn’t a monster for being a werewolf and then make him feel like one anyway for acting as a hunter was not lost on him. 

Jack was right. No matter how sorry Koz felt, he didn’t deserve to be forgiven. 

Tooth’s voice echoed from his memories. ‘Move on. Do better.’

Koz looked Jack in the eye and nodded. “I understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter :D But soon I will be done with this arc ;-; I've told my tumblr followers this but for those of y'all who don't follow: the first draft of arc three is pretty far along and there will be smut and loveliness. You just need to hang on a little longer ;-;


	10. The Sins of the Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at chapter summaries so I'm just not even gonna mess with that anymore. This chapter is late because my beta-reader is great at her job (i.e. she told me I needed to rewrite part of this and then I flopped around for weeks trying to find inspiration).

When day break came, Koz made the executive decision to sleep. They didn’t even move, they just laid their heads down on their arms and slept straight into the afternoon. It was Koz’s second all-nighter technically and if he were being honest, he could have slept longer—he was unfortunately older than he liked to think—but Jack woke first and the scent of gas station mini-muffins lulled Koz into wakefulness.

They ate in sleepy, neutral silence. Finally, Jack curled his knees to his chest and crumpled the empty food wrapper in his hands. “So are we spending the day up here too?”

Koz shook his head. “I’ve done steak-outs that lasted for days,” he said. “It’s a good way to burn yourself out—especially if it’s largely unnecessary. Your family’s not here—why would Manny’s pack attack in daytime when they’re more vulnerable anyway?”

“Good point,” Jack said, picking the fabric at his knees. “Then what are we going to do? See a movie?”

“Actually,” Koz said, “I was thinking of giving you a crash course in hunting. Starting with how to use one of these.” He pulled one of his handguns from its holster, flipped it, and offered the grip to Jack.

Jack blanched. “Do I have to use a gun?”

“Your other options are an axe, crossbow, or machete—but you’d have to cut off their heads or chop them in half for that to be effective.” Koz said, trying not to sound impatient. Jack wasn’t like him; he was entering the hunting world with no prior training—nothing to desensitize him to the act of killing monsters but the television shows he used to watch. “A gun will be the most useful—especially if the wolves that attacked your house are as adept with weapon as the Bennett’s.”

Jack bit his lip. “I suppose that’s true. I just . . .” he stared at Koz’s weapon, looking queasy. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, let alone kill somebody.”

Koz watched the self-conscious way Jack scrubbed his hand through his messy white hair. Thinking about it now, Jack’ father probably had something to do with the boy’s aversion to violence. He sighed. “Honestly, I don’t like harming others or killing either, but I’m afraid we’re in a bit of a life or death situation here. We can’t afford to safeguard our morals as much as we might want to.” He let out a breath. “You don’t trust me right now, but you’ve been forced to rely on me, right? As much as you may not want to. Well, this is how you start becoming stronger so that you don’t need to rely on me anymore.”

Jack still didn’t look happy, but he nodded along anyway. “If it means I can protect my family,” he said, “I suppose you’re right.”

*

Jack was trembling from head to tow. His arms ached and the protective goggles Koz had given him were digging into the bridge of his nose but he finally—finally—managed to hit the target. Koz clapped a hand on his shoulder, his voice unintelligible garble through the earplugs and muffs Jack was wearing. Jack looked across at him and Koz gave him a thumbs-up.

Jack felt a rush of mixed emotions: pride at the accomplishment, pleasure at being praised, and disgust with himself for being so damn eager to please.

Koz had brought him out to an unregulated indoor shooting range just outside of Burgess. It was mid-afternoon on a week day, so they were the only ones there. Thankfully, the shooting range had stalls, so they had a little bit of privacy in case the range’s single attendant got curious.

It’d been nearly two hours since Koz had started Jack’s ‘Hunter’s Crash Course’ and Jack was finally getting the hang of loading his borrowed weapon. Firing it however? Not so much. At least he hadn’t smacked himself in the face or fallen backwards (in the past hour).

Koz lifted one side of Jack’s earmuffs away and spoke loudly enough for Jack to hear. “Make sure you’re moving your trigger finger only,” he said. “You’re jerking your other fingers and it’s throwing off your aim.” He paused with a frown. “Better yet—let’s take a break.”

Jack let out a long breath as he unloaded the gun with trembling fingers. He set the handgun and the magazine down on the loading table and pulled his earmuffs down to hang around his neck. “I know this sounds dumb, seeing as I’ve been facing werewolves for almost a month now—but this thing is terrifying.”

Koz smirked, setting his own earmuffs down on the table. “You’re basically firing a miniature canon from your hand—it’s not dumb to feel nervous, but you’ll have to get used to it. Trust me, it’s much more terrifying to shoot and miss than it is to just shoot.”

“I’m not going to have safety goggles and ear protection in a real gun fight,” Jack said. “Shouldn’t I be practicing without them?”

“We aren’t to the part in training where you need to risk your safety just to get used to it,” Koz said. “Hopefully, we’ll never need to get to that part.” He peeked around their stall’s partition. “Also if you get caught not using ear and eye protection, you’ll get kicked out. And we don’t need that kind of attention.”

Jack let out a huff. It was astounding really, how life was going on the same as usual for everybody else. That same dysphoria he’d felt standing in his home was coming back to him now: he didn’t belong here. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he said. “It’s not like I can master this by tonight—what’s the point? I’ll just mess it up and then those wolves will get through . . .” His stomach turned to think of what would happen if he couldn’t stop them. His heart sped up as he thought of a white muzzle, teeth and painbitingintohim—into his sister, his mother. “God,” Jack gasped, his whole body trembling. “What the hell am I going to do?” He pressed a fist against his mouth and willed back the tears he felt burning in his eyes as his panic rose. His eyes flew from the gun on the table, to the stall divider opposite him, to the target hanging across the range, the single bullet hole glaring at him.

Koz’s eyes widened in concern and he stepped into his space. “It’ll work out,” he said. “Everything will be okay. Take deep breaths.” He put a hand on Jack’s shoulder.

Jack jerked away, feeling dizzy as his breath came too fast. “Things don’t just get better just because you want them to,” he rasped. 

Koz took a step back, raising his hands. “You’re right,” he said. “They don’t. ‘It’ll be okay’ is a placation for children, which you aren’t. But being an adult means you can make things better. I just want to help you get to a point where you can do that.” He pointed to the target. “And the best way I know how is to improve your aim so that the next time a wolf comes at you, you can put a bullet between its eyes.”

He watched Jack evenly, clasping his hands as he leaned back against the stall’s partition. Jack ran a hand through his hair and tried to get his breathing under control. This was what he wanted, he tried to tell himself, to be able to handle things on his own. He took a deep breath of air and then let it out again, slowly. “Okay,” he said weakly. He took the earmuffs hanging from his neck and pulled them up over his ears.

Koz pulled his ear protectors back on as well. His gaze was searching, but Jack ignored it and kept his head down as he loaded the gun once more. He was entering the post-freak out embarrassment phase.

He widened his stance slightly, and raised his weapon. He kept his finger off the trigger while Koz adjusted his posture so he leaned forward more. 

“Now try to only move your trigger finger!” Koz said, taking a few steps back.

Jack took a deep breath and put his finger on the trigger. This always looked a lot easier on television, he thought resentfully.

*

Jack’s back and shoulders were tense and sore hours later when the two of them crawled up into the tree stand. Between the long walk, the busy day, and their late night the night before, he was ready to fall asleep as soon as they lay down on the floor of the stand. Unfortunately that seemed to be when he most needed to be awake.

They had several cans of soda—not coffee, which Koz said had too strong a scent—as well as a bag of plain, stale donuts (again, because the scent was weaker). They’d washed up using the sinks at the gun range to clean off the smell of gunpowder only to get themselves scratched up and filthy as they snuck through the forest behind Jack’s house, trying to avoid detection not only from his neighbors, but Koz’s friends. Luckily—or unfortunately in Jack’s opinion—it would only help mask their scent further into the background of the forest.

Jack was trying not to fall asleep, focusing on the back of the house. His sister’s bedroom window didn’t face their hiding place, but he could still see the light streaming out across the bit of roof that jutted out over the kitchen. Around 8 o’clock the light went out. He blinked, eyes adjusting to the change, and noticed the animal control vehicle now parked across the street.

He felt a little reassured by their presence. It sounded like they could be trusted to keep his family safe, even if they’d likely shoot Jack and Koz if they showed themselves. Jack blinked and lifted his head. A thought had come to him and he turned to Koz lying next to him. “What would your friends do if my family got bitten?”

Koz blinked rapidly—Jack had caught him dozing. “Uh . . . “ he murmured. “Honestly, I’m not sure,” Koz said. “We had something similar happen once and . . . it didn’t end well.”

Jack looked up at him, heart rate picking up. He realized he didn’t really want to know the answer, but now that he’d heard something similar had happened, he wanted to know the details. He needed to. Were there enough differences that if the same happened to his family, the ending would be better? “What happened?”

“A civilian got bitten. We had to decide what to do with her. Astor thought we should put her down. He said it was only a matter of time before she hurt someone.”

Jack glanced at the animal control van. “Astor? He . . . was your mentor right?”

“Yes, and Bunny’s father.”

Jack scoffed. “Then I’m not surprised.”

Koz quirked an eyebrow. “You might be surprised to hear that Bunny strongly disagreed with him. He thought it was wrong to execute her if she’d done nothing wrong. You probably wouldn’t be surprised to hear that I was conflicted,” Koz said.

Jack snorted and looked back up at Koz. “You’d be right,” he said. “Though I’m a little surprised you didn’t agree with Astor.”

“Well . . .” Koz sighed, tapping his fingers on the floor of the stand. “I was less experienced then. Regardless, we couldn’t decide what to do. I suppose Astor decided to do what he thought was best without telling us—“

Jack’s eyes widened. “He killed her?”

“He tried. We found his body the next morning.”

“Oh.” Jack looked down at his arms. Koz’s story sort’ve explained a few things about Koz and his friends. Certainly it illuminated what Koz might’ve been thinking when he tried to kill Jack . . . and himself. Jack sighed. He didn’t feel the need to point out to Koz that Astor would probably be alive if he hadn’t gone back to kill that werewolf; he was sure Koz knew full well and he was too tired to try and pick a fight. 

Jack knew the exact moment when he started nodding off—he’d dozed off enough times in class to tell when he was slipping out—but just like in class, he was too tired to put up much of a resistance.

He opened his eyes what felt like a moment later, unaware of how long it’d been or what had woken him, but alert to a growing sense of dread spreading from the pit of his stomach.

He lifted his head and immediately winced at the crick in his neck.

Koz turned toward him slightly, his face barely visible in the gloom. “Have a nice nap?” He asked. He sniffed—he did that a lot, Jack had started to notice.

“Did you have a nightmare?” He asked suddenly.

“No,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think so.” It would explain the way he felt. He’d fallen asleep with his head on his arms, knees pressed to his chest, so he took a moment to straighten himself out. “Did anything happen?”

“A man walked up to the front of the house. I can’t see him, but he’s been knocking very insistently for the past few minutes or so.” Jack cocked his head to the side and listened. He couldn’t make out anything from so far away and was a little astonished that Koz could until he remembered a little thing called werewolf super hearing. As soon as he thought about it, his hearing began to shift. It felt as though Jack had been reaching for something and it suddenly moved towards him—and that something was sound.

He flinched, closing his eyes as the suddenly close jumble of sound crashed around him. It felt better to block out what he was seeing—which didn’t match up with what he was hearing. For a brief moment he teetered on the knife’s edge, just about to fall into a sensory attack, before he came to a strange sort of stop, hanging just between acceptable and too much.

He could hear the insistent knocking, just as Koz described. He heard the man breathing and the sense of dread that’d faded at his surprise at his own hearing suddenly returned full-force.

It was probably weird that the way someone breathed could sound familiar, but Jack recognized the heavy, wet, mouth-breathing almost instantly.

He froze as the man on the porch cursed under his breath and knocked on the door once more. The sound of his voice confirmed what Jack already knew and he pressed his forehead to the floor of the stand.

With his hearing so distended, Koz’s voice sounded a million miles away, even though he was right next to him. Even then he could still make out the concerned question in his tone.

Jack grit his teeth and answered, although he felt like he was speaking underwater. “It’s my dad.” He drew his knees back to his chest and grabbed his ankles.

There was a long pause, filled only by his father’s meaty knuckles pounding on the front door. Then Koz spoke, his voice soft—though it was probably because Jack’s hearing was still so distorted. “Do you want me to . . . ignore the next few minutes?”

Jack thought a moment. He could hear his mother descending the creaky steps, her feet padding softly against the floor as she approached the front door.

He lifted his head, only to fold his arms beneath his chin. “Whatever,” he said. “My mom threw out all the alcohol, the whole neighborhood’s gonna hear about it—what’s one more person?”

Koz shifted next to him, but Jack ignored him. He wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but it couldn’t be good. It might end up that he’d reveal himself to his parents after all—he couldn’t not intervene on his mother’s behalf.

He quieted his thoughts and focused on what he was hearing.

His mother stood in the entryway, not opening the door, not moving. Jack could hear her heart pounding. “Who’s there?” She asked, voice trembling slightly.

“It’s me, Annie,” his father said. “I know it’s late but I just saw the thing about the cougar on the news and I thought I’d come check on you.”

“Paul,” his mother breathed and Jack’s stomach turned at the tone of relief in her voice. He could hear her swallow hard and the floorboards creaked as she shifted her weight. “Paul . . .” she said again, her tone taking on a sternness Jack was quite familiar with, but always directed toward him or Emma, never his father.

“I thought I could take a look at the kitchen window. We’ll have to replace the glass it sounds like, but I could probably save us some money if I do most of the work myself.”

“Emma set up this thing online,” his mother said, “I don’t know how she learned to do it but she set up this thing where people can give money to help us get a new window. We’ve already got half of what we need.”

Jack could just imagine his father’s face turning that particular shade of red it gets when he’s angry but trying to bite it back. “That’s charity, Annie! We don’t need that!”

Jack could hear his mother’s heart jumping in her chest. He heard the floorboards settle as she stepped back from the door. He was so familiar with the scenario he could imagine it perfectly: his mother backed away, crossing her arms and ducking her shoulders, shrinking in on herself while her lip trembled. “I went over my finances,” she said and her voice shook. “We were barely staying afloat between the car and Ja—“ her voice cracked, “—the hospital bills and now . . .” She sucked in a long breath of air. “I need help. I can’t do this on my own.”

“That’s why I’m here,” his father said, his voice full of emotions Jack wasn’t used to hearing from him: desperation, frustration, fear, regret. “For better or for worse, right? Let me in, we’ll have a cup of coffee and we’ll talk about it.”

His mother shifted her weight and took a step toward the door.

Jack frowned into his crossed arms, a familiar sinking feeling consuming him from the within. ‘No!’ he wanted to cry, ‘don’t forgive him! Don’t let him in—he’ll just wreck everything again!’

“I need you to leave.”

For a moment Jack thought he’d misheard, but no, both his parents’ hearts were pounding like crazy.

“Annie!”

“I know I can’t make it alone, but that’s why I’m asking for help—I’m sorry if I made you think I’d changed my mind but—“

“Annie, you can’t!”

“My lawyer said I shouldn’t talk to you when he’s not around, so please go.”

“Annie!” His father’s voice was like thunder. It was his ‘not fucking around, on the verge of breaking something, possibly you’ voice. It might seem incredible that anyone would approach someone speaking that way, but Jack was sure if his father told his mother to open the door in that voice, she would’ve—he might’ve too. His mother seemed to realize this as well. For an instant she was rooted to the spot and then she spoke. “I’m going to call the police.”

Jack heard the harsh clack of buttons being pressed and realized his mother had come to the door with the phone already in her hand.

“Annie! Don’t you dare!” His father roared.

His mother stumbled away from the door, her feet beating an uneven staccato against the floor. The steps creaked under her weight, fingers gripping the phone so tightly Jack could hear the plastic creaking.

A tiny, tinny voice spoke over the receiver. “Detective Batista, who’s calling?”

“Hello Detective,” his mother spoke in the faint, syrupy voice she reserved for when she was pretending everything was all right. “I’m so sorry to disturb you, but . . . my husband is here.” She swallowed. “He won’t leave and he’s—he’s being aggressive and I don’t feel safe. I’m afraid for my life, please, please send someone to help me!”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” his father said, his voice normal once more. “You’re just overreacting because you’re so stressed. Let me in. Tell them you don’t need them after all. We’ll have coffee and talk about things and—and I can rub your shoulders! You’ll feel better I promise, just let me take care of you.”

“Alright,” said the detective over the phone. “I’ve contacted dispatch. A squad car will be there shortly. Would you like me to stay on the line with you?”

“Yes, please,” his mother said, relief evident in her tone. “Thank you.”

“Annie what will Emma think if she wakes up and sees me getting arrested?”

The detectives voice was thin through the phone, but Jack managed to hear him say. “You should check on your daughter and stay somewhere safe. Officers will be there soon.”

“Annie!” His father rapped on the door so hard it rattled on its hinges. He was using that voice again. “Annie! Let me in!”

But she didn’t. She bolted up the stairs like a startled deer, ran down the hall and turned into Emma’s room. Between her calm tone as she spoke to the detective and her lack of response to his father, she seemed utterly unaffected by her world crashing down around her. Only Jack could hear the rapid pounding of her heart as she closed Emma’s bedroom door and locked it after her.

He felt a strange sense of pride come over him. He was still anxious for her, but if she was to the point where she was freely calling on people to help . . . There was a chance things would be okay. He wasn’t too happy that it took him ‘dying’ for this to happen, but at the same time, after all the other shit that he’d been through these past weeks, this was like a breath of fresh air.

His hearing shifted from long to close range as startling and quick as having your ears pop.

He lifted his head, feeling strangely giddy. He looked at Koz beside him, about to speak when Koz put a finger to his lips.

He was staring at Jack’s house. Jack slowly followed his gaze and saw—on the bit of roof jutting out from beneath the second story over the kitchen—Emma, sitting on the narrow roof tiles and looking out towards them.

“I don’t think she’s seen us,” Koz said, moving his finger away from his mouth as he spoke in the softest whisper. “But she may have realized something unusual is here.”

“She probably thinks we’re a mountain lion,” Jack hissed back, probably not adequately alarmed, but too elated to care.

Emma turned her head back towards her bedroom window.

Jack didn’t need to strain his hearing to guess that his mother had caught her. The way Emma flew back inside was all the indication he needed. She wasn’t supposed to go out on the roof.

Koz let out a breath. “She crawled out just after he raised his voice.”

Jack nodded and pointed to the other side of the house, where a roof slope stuck out over the dining room, identical to the slope on the other side of the house. “Whenever things would get really bad we’d sneak out and go to the convenience store down the street for a little while. We weren’t supposed to, but it ended up being one of those rules my parents ignored us breaking ‘cause sometimes they’d come and get us afterwards. We could usually tell how things went based on who came to get us.”

Koz was quiet a long moment. “I’m not sure if that’s a happy memory or a sad one,” he said finally.

Jack chuckled. “Me neither,” he admitted. He went quiet, watching the house. The light was on in his sister’s room now, but he couldn’t see in. “Were you listening to what happened?”

“I didn’t want to intrude,” Koz said.

Jack glanced over towards the street and saw the animal control van still parked there. “My mom kinda kicked my dad out.”

“That’s wonderful,” Koz said, and he sounded genuinely pleased.

It was wonderful, but there was a strange mix of unhappy emotions bubbling at the back of Jack’s mind. He frowned as he stared at the patch of light over the kitchen roof.

“Are you . . . conflicted about that?” Koz asked carefully.

Jack sighed, a lump forming in his throat. “It’s just . . . it’s not fair? Like that happy/sad memory of going to the convenience store with Emma. The worst thing about me . . . never going back would be that all their memories of me would be like that.”

“That’s sort of a given whenever you lose someone,” Koz pointed out. “I would know. But it doesn’t last. Your sister won’t care about how frightened or sad she was when you’d take her to the store, she’ll remember . . .” he seemed to think a moment. “I don’t know. She’ll remember the things you’d do to pass the time together. How you looked after her. What a good brother you were.”

Jack took a long breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair, digging his nails in so it almost hurt. He’d tried pushing it away and squashing it down, but when he turned and thought right on it, he knew—he knew—Koz was right. If he went to live with his family he’d be a threat to them. He had clung to the notion that his mother and sister needed him, but now that his father was out of the picture and his mother was getting outside help . . . 

“If . . .” He felt distant from himself even as he spoke, the idea so against his wishes the words didn’t quite connect. “If I go live with my family, they’ll think of me the way they think of my dad.”

Koz opened his mouth and then hesitated. Jack spoke over his silence. “I know it’ll be different but . . . I don’t know. It might be worse?” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I’ll just be another threat. One more thing to hide from. I’m—God, I’m not even human.” And that was the first time Jack had thought of himself that way. “My dad’s just a human and look at all the damage he’s done—how much could I do? How can I go home like this?”

Koz looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “I . . .” He winced and Jack remembered that Koz had probably already thought of all these things and had come up with a very final solution.

“Fuck!” Jack rocked back, throwing up his hands and forgetting to be quiet. “Why the hell can’t anything work out?” He flopped forward, wrapping his arms around his legs and squashing his face against his knees. He gasped for breath and his eyes stung, as the last traces of hope slipped from his fingertips. 

Koz shifted next to him. “Jack?” Koz’s voice was soft and edged with concern. His arm hesitantly reached across Jack’s shoulders, half holding him.

Jack took a deep breath, trying to shore up the strength to pretend that all was well, but he couldn’t find any because he was starting to realize that nothing was ever going to be okay again.

Koz rocked him slightly, his fingers rubbing light circles on his shoulder. As angry and hurt as Jack was that Koz had tried to kill him, he knew Koz was sorry. It was also very likely that Koz could be his only friend from here on out and he could probably do worse.

He took a few more deep breaths, letting his thoughts flicker like candlelight through his mind, but not allowing any to take hold. He breathed in deeply. What was that counting thing Koz had told him? It seemed a thousand years ago that Koz had helped him out of a panic attack when he saw the bones of the cabin-owner. In-six, hold-four, out-seven, if he was remembering correctly.

He did that for a moment, focusing only on counting and breathing. He felt better after that, a little more grounded. He let out a final long breath.

“Feeling better?” Koz asked. He shifted away just slightly, but didn’t pull away entirely.

Jack lifted his head and rubbed his face, relieved that he hadn’t started crying. “Yeah,” he said. A few more deep breaths and he felt strong enough to pull up his mask and pretend all was well—never mind that it wasn’t, or that it never would be again—no, superficial thoughts only. “You ever just have one of those ‘the walls are closing in’ moments?” Jack asked. 

Koz was quiet a moment. “You remember I tried to kill myself, right? I mean, repeatedly. For about four months I was in a constant state of ‘the walls are closing in’. I still have those moments, quite often actually.”

Jack hadn’t thought of it that way. It almost made him feel better to know that he wasn’t alone. Koz had felt all that he was feeling now, even the fear of leaving everything he left behind. “I just had one of those,” he said.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Jack shook his head. “I was just thinking . . . you’re right about some things.”

There was a pregnant pause filled only by the buzzing of late-season insects. “I wish I weren’t,” Koz said at length.

“I just . . .” Jack grasped for the words to describe the enormity of his own dark, blank future spread out before him. “I don’t know what to do,” he said finally.

Koz shifted his weight to face Jack more fully, the stand creaking slightly. “I don’t have an answer for you,” he said. “But for now, I think you need to sleep.”

Jack frowned and laid his cheek on his arms. There was no way he could sleep after all that’d happened this evening. He needed to stay awake and watch over his family.

The night was cool and the floor of the stand gave little warmth. Koz hadn’t moved his arm from Jack’s back and he appreciated the warmth.

Jack passively watched a patrol car pull to a halt along the curb and then the Overland house lit up as his mother went out to greet the police. He couldn’t see what happened at the front of the house, but the car left not long after it arrived. He saw no signs of his father, but wouldn’t be surprised if he’d snuck off while Jack was too busy freaking out.

A few minutes after the car left, the lights in the house went off one by one. Jack felt his eyes droop more and more with each blink. The light in Emma’s room went out and finally he let exhaustion take him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last in this arc! :D I've finished writing Arc 3 so I can start putting that out soon after this one is done. I've also started writing Arc 4 (the final arc!). I'm hoping it'll be the shortest and that's how it's looking so far (meanwhile, Arc 3 is probably the longest, but is also the most action-y (and smutty :d)).


	11. Last Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But this way, they might get some closure.”
> 
> Jack sighed. “It still sucks.”
> 
> Koz couldn’t think of an eloquent response to that, so he merely nodded. “It does.”

The sun shone brightly through the trees at just the right angle to fall right on Jack’s face. His brow furrowed as his eyes opened hesitantly. The gun Koz had given him was digging into his shoulder and his right side was chilly and just slightly damp with morning dew. In his sleep he’d huddled close to Koz, and his left side was warm where their bodies were pressed flush against one another. A rush of mixed emotions flew through him at the warmth. He still didn’t know how he felt about Koz. Logically, Jack knew he shouldn’t trust him, let alone like him, but—cheesy as it sounded—his heart wasn’t cooperating. He’d liked Koz a lot before everything had come to light, and the instinct to submit and forgive was strong. But it was too early to think about this stuff. He swallowed down his mixed emotions—figuratively, because ugh, his throat felt like sandpaper.

He sat up slowly, letting out a small groan of distress as his muscles protested. Stretching did little to sooth his stiff muscles.

Jack reached for the cooler hidden at the back of the hide and pulled out a bottle of water. He was surprised to see Koz was awake, albeit just barely. He blinked blearily and gazed up at Jack, the morning light reflecting off his eyes so they looked nearly gold. Jack’s jumped emotions came surging back with a vengeance and he looked away toward the house. His mother was awake and in the kitchen, making breakfast.

He heard Koz sigh and it rankled him enough that his emotions finally settled on ‘annoyed’.

Thankfully, Koz said nothing.

Jack watched his family sit down to eat, but that just made him depressed—not to mention hungry. He jealously watched his sister finish a plate of waffles. His stomach growled, and he took a swig of water and reached for the stale donuts. 

“Once everyone has cleared out for the day, we can go get some real food,” Koz said, sitting up as slowly and carefully as Jack had.

Jack sighed and sat back against the tree. He watched his family scurry around, preparing for the day, his vision often obscured as they walked away from the rear-facing windows. He felt the same sense of otherness as when he’d been in his bedroom the previous day, as if he were watching someone else’s family—like he belonged with them about as much as he belonged in any random family on the street. And he didn’t really belong with them anymore did he? He wasn’t human anymore.

The front door banged shut before his mother and sister crossed the lawn toward his mother’s car. He could tell, even from how far away he was, how anxious and sleepless his mother looked looked. Her long brown hair was tied back into a hasty bun, her flush cheeks were drained of color, and there were dark circles under her eyes. 

Emma was the spitting image of their mother in miniature: waifish, with brown hair and eyes, and rosy cheeks. She too had a certain tired look about her. Her face wasn’t quite as flushed as normal. For a child whose favorite superhero was Squirrel Girl, she wasn’t looking her usual bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self.

It hurt to think that was because of Jack. She was grieving. They both were. If only Jack could stop that. If only things were that simple.

His mother kissed Emma goodbye and then his little sister set off down the street to where a handful of kids stood waiting for the school bus.

Several of them abruptly halted their conversations and looked away as Emma approached. Jack’s stomach turned. He knew exactly what they were talking about. His father hadn’t exactly been quiet last night. The ‘mountain lion’ incident was forgotten quickly when Paul Overland made an ass of himself in public.

Even from a distance, Jack could see the rigid line of Emma’s posture and the stiff tilt of her chin. Jack had used the same look when approaching a group he knew had been discussing the latest Overland family gossip.

His mother left for work and a few minutes later the bus arrived and his sister left as well. He and Koz waited an hour or so more for the street to clear out. Koz dozed while Jack thought himself deeper and deeper into his own head before finally Koz sat up and announced he was going to go get some lunch at the gas station.

“You should climb down and stretch your legs,” he said. “I think we’ll get some more target practice in today.”

Wordlessly, Jack followed his advice, climbing down the hide’s hidden steps to the forest floor below. It was cooler down here, where the sun’s rays couldn’t reach as well. The forest floor was littered with red and yellow leaves. Soon the ground would be absolutely covered while the trees were stripped bare. Jack rubbed his arms mechanically as Koz climbed down beside him.

Koz gave him a questioning look that Jack ignored, staring straight ahead at the house.

“I’ll be right back,” Koz said uncertainly.

Jack gave a jerky nod and didn’t watch as Koz crept away towards the convenience store.

***

Something was off with Jack, Koz knew, but he didn’t know what. They’d still been getting to know one another when he’d told Jack how he’d tried to kill him and driven this rift between them. Now, the growing connection between them had withered and he wasn’t as in-sync with his companion’s thoughts and emotions.

The single employee at the convenience store was not the one who’d waited on Koz the last time he’d been there. Koz thanked small blessings. He’d just as rather not risk anyone noticing him as a person of interest.

The gas station was small, brilliantly lit, with grime and dust in every corner. They had alcohol, cigarettes, hot dogs on a roller, a coffee machine, and a small case of donuts. There was nothing special about it. He’d absorbed and forgotten all these details the day before yesterday, but now they all seemed to come alive.

He could just imagine Jack in the blue hoodie he’d first met him in, probably fifteen pounds heavier with an eight-year-old sister hanging on his heels, wasting hours in this dingy, noxiously lit gas station until it was safe to go home again.

Koz went to pay the man behind the counter—a rather alarming looking fellow, complete with tattoos and a huge bushy beard. Likely someone North would be friends with. Behind him, Koz noticed Jack’s missing person poster—but this one had several photographs taped to the side—home photos. One of Jack with crutches, standing in a crowd of people, balloons over his head and a hesitant smile on his face. One of him, brilliantly sunburnt and leaning on a cane, in what looked like an apple orchard. And another of him on his front steps holding a kitten. 

Someone had put a handful of daisies in a plastic cup beneath the photos. Next to the poster hunger a sign that read ‘Overland Memorial Service 5:30’ in big block letters.

“You seen him?” The man asked suddenly.

Koz started. “No,” he said quickly. But I’ve seen him in the papers.”

“Yeah,” the man said with a disappointed huff. “He used to live around here.”

“I see,” Koz said, trying to keep his expression sincerely sympathetic. He found it wasn’t that difficult. He wondered if he should let Jack know, or if the knowledge would only make him even more depressed. Then his eyes focused on the memorial date. ‘Today, September 23rd.’

Koz’s heart sank. He paid the man, moving mechanically as he walked from the store. He felt detached from his body, like he was looking at himself from the outside. Maybe, he thought, there was still time. Maybe he could get to a phone. Maybe he could ask the convenience store worker. He forced his legs to start moving and they carried him back toward the tree line, all the while his thoughts turned round and round. September 23rd. Maybe the sign was wrong. It probably wasn’t.

***

Jack sat curled up at the bottom of the tree. He felt anxious, panicky even. A swell of negativity he’d managed to push away since all of this began was finally starting to envelop him. It’d been present when he woke that morning and had grown in strength when Koz left him alone.  
‘You don’t belong here anymore,’ it said. ‘You’re a monster. You’re dangerous. Your mother finally managed to get rid of one monster, and you want to force another one on her because you’re too scared and childish to do what needs to be done!’

Jack swallowed hard. He felt helpless, lost. He’d been so certain he could return to his life here—when had he started agreeing with Koz? When he’d decided not to contact his family? When he’d chosen to temporarily forgive Koz? No. It’d happened last night, when his mother threw his father out.

A soft sound behind him had him nearly jumping out of his skin. He whirled around to see Koz setting down a plastic grocery bag. Jack’s nose and eyes prickled as if he were on the verge of tears—they were probably red. He turned away, rubbed his nose with his sleeve, and took several deep breaths. ‘Just stay strong a little while longer,’ he told himself, though for how long, he wasn’t sure. ‘Now is not the time for a breakdown.’ Jack turned to Koz, mouth open to say something—he didn’t know what—then he stopped.

Koz’s face was nearly white. He stood nearly ten feet from Jack and he was looking into the distance. For a moment, Jack wondered if he’d heard something, but Koz didn’t look alert, he looked . . . pained.

“A-are you okay?” Jack asked.

Koz seemed almost startled by his voice, but still he didn’t turn toward Jack. “My daughter is going to get her letter today,” Koz said quietly.

He said this with the severity of one who expects the magnitude of their words to be understood and Jack wasn’t feeling strong enough to pretend he did. “What?”

Koz looked at him with empty eyes. “When we leave on dangerous hunts,” he started. “We update our wills and leave letters for our friends and . . . loved ones,” he swallowed thickly. “If my lawyer didn’t hear back from me by today, he was to give out my letters . . . My daughter’s going to find out that I . . . that I’m not coming home.” He seemed to shrink in on himself.

Jack stood rooted to the spot. He felt a swell of emotion settle over, both for himself and for Koz. He remained frozen and silent while Koz continued. 

“I keep thinking that . . . they might put it off. I wouldn’t put it past them. Reading someone’s letters is acknowledging that there’s no hope of them coming back . . . But I almost hope they read them right away, just so they don’t have to keep waiting and worrying—but I also can’t stand the thought of how much it’s going to hurt them.”

“Maybe your lawyer friend hasn’t given out the letters yet,” Jack said, swallowing around a lump in his throat. “Maybe you could still call him. You could rewrite the letters or explain what happened—you don’t need to let them think you’re dead. You could just say you can’t come back.”

Koz shook his head. “I thought all this through before I wrote the letters—saying I was leaving, saying I was killed but not specifying that I’d died by my own hand . . . I didn’t want them to look for me or look for something that might’ve killed me. Telling them that I was ending my life seemed the best way to help them all reach some semblance of closure. It may not be grounded in truth anymore, but the idea is still the same.”

Jack took a few steps back until he bumped into a tree trunk. “Closure . . .” He murmured, running a hand through his hair. “I wish I could give my family something like that . . .”

Koz let out a weak laugh. “And I wish I could look in on my daughter and see . . . see her grieving but moving on.” There was a long pause between them, filled only with the rustle of leaves in the breeze. Jack wondered if he should point out that Koz could easily go check on his daughter, but then realized Koz must’ve already considered that. 

Then Koz cleared his throat. “I don’t know if I should show this to you . . .”

Jack looked up to see Koz holding up a crumpled flyer. He read the words ‘Overland Memorial’ and was on his feet in a second, snatching the paper from Koz’s hand. 

Overland Memorial Service 5:00pm  
Today, September 23rd  
Saint Ailbe of Emly’s Church  
Reception at Overland house

He read the whole thing, then read it again. His emotions were doing that roulette thing again and he wasn’t sure where they’d land. Beside him Koz sat with an exhausted sigh, leaves crunching under his weight.

He let out a long quivering breath. What was there to say? What was there to do? He looked down at Koz, seeking some answer, and saw him lost in thought, his expression more hopeless than Jack had ever seen. It was then that it hit Jack fully that Koz would rather die than live without his daughter, and he’d chosen not to for Jack’s sake.

Jack fell to his knees next, leaves crunching under his legs. Koz sat immobile, just barely glancing at Jack out of the corner of his eye as if he were afraid he’d scare Jack away if he moved. Jack dropped his head onto Koz’s shoulder, surprised but unsurprised to find the man was shaking. Maybe he wasn’t worried he’d scare Jack away. Maybe he was the scared one.

Jack swallowed. He was probably making the same mistake his mother made but he was miserable and it felt so nice to rest against a warm living person. Slowly, Koz moved his hand between them, gently touching Jack’s. Jack took it.

***

It wasn’t a good day and Koz didn’t have the heart to make it one. Jack was depressed too—and rightly so—but it felt strange for both of them to be so out of sorts. Koz almost expected Jack to turn it all around somehow—to lose patience with sadness, flop over and demand they go do something. But Jack didn’t. 

They crawled up into the hide again with their meager provisions. He mechanically pushed Jack to eat something and Jack in turn urged him to have something as well, which was kind of him. There was definitely a distance between them now, but it didn’t feel like there was a wall there anymore.

Every waking moment Koz spent holding himself back. He kept playing through his options and every time he came back to the same conclusion. He couldn’t go home. He shouldn’t go home. He wouldn’t go home. He needed to do what was best for Seraphina, even if it wasn’t what was best for him, even if it hurt her. 

It was the same cycle of emotions Koz had gone through each time he’d attempted to kill himself and he felt almost a Pavlovian response to end it. But he couldn’t, Jack still needed him. And unlike Seraphina or his friends, it was safe to be around Jack.

Koz was exhausted. His troubled mind struggled to rest and he woke at every rustle of the wind, every leaf that drifted down on him, every time Jack shifted. Sometime in the afternoon he opened his eyes and saw Jack’s mother pull up. She got out, looking as drained as he felt. Jack’s sister got out of the passenger door and the two of them went inside. Not long after, they came back out again, cleaned up and wearing all black. 

Koz thought Jack was asleep, so he was surprised when he spoke: “Do you think they’ll bury an empty casket?”

Koz swallowed and his mouth tasted like old coffee. He reached for one of their water bottles. “Maybe,” he said quietly. “But this way, they might get some closure.”

Jack sighed. “It still sucks.”

Koz couldn’t think of an eloquent response to that, so he merely nodded. “It does.”

About an hour after the Overland’s left, another car pulled up in their driveway and Jack’s neighbor, the funny old woman—Ms. Clavel—got out. She must’ve come from the service, since she was wearing black from head-to-toe. She darted up to the house.

Evening was falling and the house lit up as Ms. Clavel marched from room to room and turned on the lights. Koz felt a blade of apprehension. He’d read the flyer for the memorial service, but he hadn’t quite processed that the reception would be staged at the Overland house. There was no lawn furniture in the backyard and it was getting chilly, so hopefully there wouldn’t be many people out there.

The Overland’s—that is, Jack’s mother and sister—arrived about ten minutes later. And it seemed they were leading the cavalry. Cars lined up all along the street and people in black starting filing into the small home.

Astor’s funeral had been such a small thing; Koz had forgotten how funerals could be such a communal event in small towns. He glanced at Jack. Darkness was setting in fully and it was hard to see the young man, but the lights from the house provided just enough illumination to outline his profile.

“Are you alright?” Koz asked.

Jack’s profile nodded. “It’s . . . It’s really weird,” he said. 

His tone of voice was so normal, not depressed, not upset, just weirded out. Koz managed to crack a smile. “Have you ever read the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn?” Koz asked.

“No,” Jack said. “But I watched the Wishbone episode.”

There was a long pause and then, suddenly and strangely enough, they were both laughing. It was strange to think watching a funeral reception could be entertaining; the people there were mourning after all, but somehow the situation just felt so bizarre and surreal that they couldn’t help but laugh.

They sat back and watched people come and go from the Overland house. Jack almost seemed to enjoy watching it all. He pointed out his track friends from high school and his Best Buddies friends from middle school. There were people he knew from church, teachers, and classmates, his physical therapists and nurses, neighbors, ex-boyfriends, extended relatives, and employees from the gas station. Koz recognized the bearded, tattooed man he saw earlier in the day and felt a pang of sympathy at his wet, red eyes.

Koz noticed that Jack’s father didn’t make an appearance. When he tentatively pointed this out to Jack, the young man only said: “Good.”

It felt intrusive watching these people. It might’ve been a blessing that Mrs. Overland and her daughter stayed out of sight at the front of the house. Koz didn’t know what Jack would’ve done if he could see them grieving. Koz glanced at Jack to see him watching the gathering quietly. Perhaps, Koz reflected, seeing this was a way for the young man to gain some semblance of closure just as much as it was for the people below. 

The night dwindled and more and more of the guests left until all who remained were relatives and neighbors. Jack’s mother and sister finally made an appearance, cleaning up all the food, tissue boxes, and trash the guests had left. Eventually it was all cleared away. One by one, the cars drove off until no one was left but the little Overland family.

The sun had long since set. Koz kept an eye on the street, wondering. If he were staking out the house from the roadside, he would park closer—just where Bunny and North had parked the night before. Of course, the guests had all but blocked the whole street. Now that they were gone, he would’ve moved his vehicle closer.

He waited, glancing left and right as though he might be able to look through the houses and see the street beyond.

“Your friends must be running late . . .” Jack noted.

Koz drew in a long breath and let it out again slowly. He leaned back against the tree trunk. He felt a strange mix of crumbling hopelessness and detachment. It almost felt like it weren’t happening to him. “They won’t come,” he said finally. “If they opened my letters . . . they’ll be with Seraphina . . . I’m sorry,” he said.

Koz watched the shadow of Jack’s head turn to look at him. “What for?”

“I’ve made a mess of things again I’m afraid. They won’t be here to protect your family.”

“We’re here,” Jack said. “We’ll keep them safe.”

Koz heard a soft creak of old wood and lifted his gaze to the house to see Jack’s sister clambering out her bedroom window, still wearing her black dress. For a moment, she looked exactly like Seraphina. He flinched and scrubbed his hands over his eyes. Was this how it was going to be from now on? Seeing phantoms of his daughter everywhere? He blinked purple and green spots from his vision until his eyes refocused on Jack’s little sister—not Seraphina—Emma. His night vision slowly came to, as his eyes adjusted to the growing gloom. Emma tipped her head up to the stars and he could see the sparkle in her eyes. She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. 

She seemed too somber for such a young child, but he knew firsthand how grief could age a person. She wasn’t Seraphina but she could be. She too had been left waiting, for weeks on end, hoping for a loved one to return.

They were a little different of course—Seraphina was getting a written confession that he wasn’t coming back, while Jack’s sister would forever wonder. Seraphina was left an orphan to be raised by a loving man. Emma was stuck in a messy divorce with a struggling single mother and long memories of abuse. If a little girl could suffer all that and still be all right, surely Seraphina could be too?

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Koz asked. “Your sister, I mean.”

Jack sat back next to him and was quiet a long moment. “Yeah,” he said at last. “She and my mom, I think they’ll both be okay. I’m more afraid that I won’t be okay without them.”

Koz let out a long breath, leaning ever so slightly against Jack until Jack pressed back against him. Maybe it was the chill in the air or the lack of warmth to be gained from the tree, but that point of contact with Jack felt like a greater comfort than anything that could be said.

For a long, long moment they stayed there like that. Koz was absently watching the house all the while. He could see Emma’s shoulders rise as she took a deep breath. She moved, standing up, and Koz’s heart picked up a pace. It was nearly a ten foot drop to the ground and she was standing on such a steep slope. 

Emma took three careful steps toward the slope edge and Jack shifted uneasily next to Koz. She looked at the drop carefully, waivered for a moment, then jumped. Koz gasped in alarm as she dropped. She bent her knees as she hit the ground and took several clumsy steps forward before toppling to her hands and knees. Koz and Jack both let out a breath of relief. At least she hadn’t crashed into the ground.

Emma pulled herself up to her feet and examined her hands. Once she determined she wasn’t badly injured she brushed herself off and looked back up at the roof with a gleam of pride in her eyes. 

Jack let out a soft huff, half pained, half laugh. “Yeah, I think she’s gonna be okay.”

Emma turned away from the forest, from the house, and toward the street, where the lights of the convenience store stretched across the pavement.

A violent rustle sounded from below and Koz glanced down in time to see something large and black tear through the foliage. 

Time slowed.

Koz scrambled to climb down from the hide just as Jack threw himself off the edge, exploding into the change faster than Koz had thought possible. He hit the ground on all fours at the same time as Koz gave in and jumped as well. He bent his knees and rolled across the ground, drawing his weapon.

The werewolf tore across the yard and Emma half turned, saw the beast barreling at her, and screamed. Time seemed to speed up all at once.

Koz fired, just missing the wolf’s flank. The werewolf flinched in alarm—just the barest hint of hesitation, but it was enough time for Jack to tackle him teeth-first.

Koz didn’t dare shoot as the two werewolves struggled. He bolted across the yard.  
He had to reach Emma before either one of them could get to her. 

Emma didn’t see him. Her gaze was fixed on the two beasts in front of her. She stumbled back, nearly falling in her shock, but managed to stay on her feet and take off down the street. 

Koz made it to the sidewalk and flinched as a scream wrenched the air. He turned to see the black wolf collapse onto the grass, blood spurting from a massive wound in his neck. Jack stood over him, back arched, tail high, and hackles raised.

Koz’s gaze snapped around to see Emma pause halfway to the convenience store, her eyes wide and chest rising and falling rapidly.

A howl rose from the trees and then the woods seem to burst open, wolves pouring forth. Jack snarled, and a wolf Koz recognized as Sophie Bennett tore past them, charging after Emma with one brown pup and another silvery-white one following after. Koz fired at them and missed. Then Jack flew past him, nothing more than a white blur.

Seeing Sophie coming, Emma turned and ran, but was cut off by the white adolescent. He snarled, but didn’t move to attack her. Sophie barreled toward her, fangs bared, and then Jack was on her, tackling her to the ground and tearing his teeth into any bit of skin he could grab hold of. The brown pup lunged at him, snatching at Jack’s ruff and momentarily separating the two. Jack snapped his head around—cracking his jaw against her eye. She his fur instantly and Jack whirled around to snarl at the other white pup—he merely backed away, ears folding back.

Poor Emma took stock of this stalemate and tried to run around for the store, but Sophie leapt to, cutting her off once more. Jack flew between them, his growling growing louder. Either the pups forgot their main target was Emma, or were willfully ignoring her in place of attacking Jack. Either way, Jack seemed to be handling himself relatively well.

That was more than Koz could say. He was near surrounded by eight of Manny’s pack members. None of them made a move, but he could tell by their raised tails and raised hackles that he was in danger. 

He heard Mrs. Overland’s voice from inside the house, calling for her daughter. Surely she’d be able to see the wolves through the kitchen windows? But then if she realized Emma was out here, wouldn’t she come outside to save her? ‘Please don’t come outside,’ he thought. ‘Please don’t come out here!’ 

He watched as the wolves around him inched nearer and nearer. He spotted Jamie, his glowing golden eyes darting nervously from Koz to the shadows of the trees. Koz followed his gaze and spotted Manny approaching, clothed this time in a loose white dress shirt and slacks. 

Manny looked down at the black wolf Jack had killed with a quiet, pensive look. “So much blood shed,” he said softly, looking across to where Jack fought, standing nearly on top of Emma to keep the others away. “Especially considering this would have been a victimless crime. I suspected Jack was hesitating to join our ranks because of his family—it’s not uncommon, nor is it a difficult problem to fix. Or it wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t gotten involved.”

“What do you want with him?” Koz demanded, forcing an approaching wolf back with a strong kick to the snout.

Manny smiled. “He’s pretty. I like pretty things.”

The back of Koz’s neck burned as his body tensed, the change creeping up on him. “He’s mine.” Koz almost didn’t recognize his voice through the snarl. 

Manny’s eyebrows shot up. “Yours? Your pup? Your brother? Your mate?”

“He’s mine!” Koz raised his weapon to shoot Manny once and for all and one of the wolves lunged at him. Koz put a round through its mouth, then quickly stepped aside to avoid another wolf’s bite. He grabbed the beast’s ear to hold it still, blasted a hole in its skull, then whipped around to shoot a retreating wolf in the hindquarters. He only realized afterwards that it was Jamie. The young wolf dropped to the ground with a sharp yelp and lay still, whining pathetically.

People had obviously taken note of the noise by now. Heads were poking out of doors and windows, then slamming shut soon after. Mrs. Overland was screaming her daughter’s name. Koz heard the front door open and fired his gun into the air. “STAY IN YOUR HOMES!” He roared.

A wolf jumped and tackled Koz to the ground, earning a silver bullet to the chest for his trouble. Koz barely had enough time to force the wolf’s body off of him before the other wolves leapt in on him.

Teeth clamped around his leg, he fired, and the teeth disappeared. A wolf grabbed his shoulder; he twisted and shot it between the eyes. A third leapt atop him, pining his arm—and his gun—over his shoulder. The wolf bit into his arm, while another fastened onto his calf and thrashed, tearing flesh. Koz fired at the ground, hoping the sound would startle them, but all it did was temporarily deafen him.

Through the ringing in his ears, Koz snarled and let the change creep up inside of him. He craned his neck to sink his teeth into the first wolf’s muzzle. His fangs sank into the spongy flesh of the beast’s nose and it yanked away suddenly—leaving a chunk of flesh as it did—and knocking back the wolf at Koz’s leg.

Koz spat out blood and flesh and sat up, pushing the change back again. His leg was shredded and all he could do was sit up as best as he could and fire on his attackers. The nose-less wolf took a hit to the shoulder, the other Koz hit in the eye.

“You’d be a magnificent asset if you only worked for the right side,” Manny said with a sigh. Koz looked up to see him standing on the Overland porch. His hackles rose and he lifted his weapon. But he hesitated. How many shots had he fired? Did he have enough left for the three wolves attacking Emma? What about his other gun? No, he’d given it to Jack! It was probably lying beneath the tree with all the rest of Jack’s shredded clothes. But he couldn’t let Manny see him hesitate.

He forced a smirk as if he weren’t currently sitting in the dirt with blood dribbling down his chin and his leg mangled. “Are you just going to keep sending your people to me? I can keep killing them all night.”

Manny shrugged. “I can always make more.”

The Czar glanced down the street.

Emma was curled on the ground, arms over the back of her neck and face pressed into her knees. Jack was a blur, darting around her, defending her on all sides from the three wolves.

“Sophie, darling,” Manny called.

Sophie’s head whipped around, ears pricked, green eye shining.

“Come try and kill this one.” Manny gestured to Koz like he was bored of him.

If a wolf could skip—then that’s what Sophie did. Smiling doggishly and tail-wagging she trotted over to come kill Koz.

Koz glanced from her to Manny. “You know I can kill her, don’t you?” 

“I know it. She knows it. She’ll try it anyway—that’s why she’s my favorite right now.”

Sophie seemed to swell with pride, her gaze cold and angry, glaring at Koz as she approached. Koz raised his gun, stomach twisting in disgust. This could be his own daughter, devoted to some asshole who didn’t care a lick for her. He hoped Sera wouldn’t be so foolish, but wiser women had been fooled before.

He didn’t want to do this, he realized. When had that happened? When had he started to see the person behind the monster? Jack was rubbing off on him.

Sophie began to circle around him, eyes intense and body low as she contemplated her attack.

“EMMA, STAY DOWN.”

They all started in surprise. The tattooed convenience store clerk was standing just inside the store’s side door. He raised a battered double-barrel shotgun to his shoulder and fired.

The white wolf pup fell to the ground, blood and brain matter splattering the pavement.

Sophie flinched behind Koz and shrank back while the brown she-wolf screamed. The girl pup ran at her companion, running close to Emma as she did. With a roar, Jack barreled at her, snatching her foreleg in his mouth and thrashing. The store clerk fired again and the buckshot sparked against the pavement at Jack’s feet. Startled, he released the she-pup.

The clerk cursed and fumbled to reload his weapon with shaking hands. Emma staggered to her feet and froze as Jack turned his gaze on her. She was visibly trembling, eyes wide, and mouth open in horror to see the white beast before her, his mouth stained red-blood, fangs bared. And then Jack snarled.

A cold claw of terror struck Koz, as he watched Emma whirl, brown hair flowing out behind her like a banner as she ran for cover and Jack chased after her. Koz raised his gun, breathing heavy, eyes pricking, and fired.

Jack’s teeth clicked on open air as he fell to the ground. Emma approached the store’s side door and the clerk grabbed her by the arm and hauled her inside. The door slammed shut. 

For a moment, there was silence and then in the distance, sirens sounded.

Manny snickered. “Wouldn’t it be funny if you got arrested?” He said to Koz. He let out a sigh. “Well, our last night in town didn’t go quite as well as expected, but it can’t be helped. Come along, darling,” he cooed to Sophie. Sophie looked up at him, ears flicking anxiously. She glanced back down the street to where the brown she-wolf stood over the white wolf-pup’s still form.

“He’s as good as dead,” Manny said softly. “You’ll have to leave him, Katherine.”

The she-pup, Katherine, whined, pressing her muzzle against her companion’s still form and rocking him gently.

Manny stepped lightly from the Overland’s porch. Before he could think about it, Koz pointed his weapon up at him and fired. Click. Sophie flinched and Manny’s eyes widened. Koz’s heart sank. No. Not again.

Manny threw back his head and laughed as he walked away. Koz dropped his arms to his lap, too shocked to notice the apologetic look Sophie threw Katherine before trailing after her czar.

Katherine yelped and whined, torn between nudging her companion and following Manny, her distress as apparent as her limp.

Manny didn’t return and the sirens drew closer.

Koz breathed deeply through the nose and let it out again. He failed to kill Manny, but Emma was safe. Now, he couldn’t walk, but he could probably crawl for his car—no that would leave a noticeable blood trail.

He looked up at the sound of approaching feet and saw Jamie limping into the gas station lights. He picked up the white-wolf by the scruff of his neck and with some teamwork with Katherine, the two of them managed to drag their injured pack-mate across the street and into someone’s yard. Koz couldn’t see them any further than that.

“Jack,” Koz called. “We have to go.” He dragged himself away from the sidewalk, out of the light from the convenience store. He was sure there were at least a dozen camera phones being pointed his way at the moment, and he didn’t want them to see him while he changed. With fumbling hands he used his t-shirt to wipe down his gun. He could only hope the authorities wouldn’t spot their hide before he and Jack could take it down. The last thing he needed was an investigation on the two of them.

He tossed the gun away and brought on the change, letting the pain wash away the agony in his leg, his body healing as it turned. Becoming a wolf mellowed out all his fears and worries, blurring all that had happened into a murky, pleasantly black and white world.

He stood and shook himself, the last scraps of his torn clothing falling free from his massive frame.

He loped down the street to Jack’s still form. The younger wolf hadn’t moved but for his tail, which was firmly between his legs. Koz touched his muzzle to Jack’s and instantly his blue eyes opened. The scent of fear came to Koz’s senses, almost as powerful as the look of shame in Jack’s eyes. The young werewolf whimpered and Koz could sense it was a question, but didn’t know what it was or how to respond. He gently licked the pup’s forehead and stepped back, allowing him to stand.

Blood trickled down the younger wolf’s thigh where Koz’s bullet had grazed him, painful but not serious.

Koz headed off and, with one last look at the pair of frightened faces in the gas station window, Jack followed unbidden. The two werewolves disappearing into the woods as the authorities finally arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prize for shortest cameo goes to Nightlight who took it to the head in this chapter. *Throws confetti* Good job Nightlight.
> 
> And that's all folks! Well, that's all for this arc. I'm excited for Arc 3 since, as I said, there's a lot more action (both as in action and as in sex action).

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on my blog for art, updates, and asks: http://guardian-of-da-gay.tumblr.com/
> 
> Or you can check out the #notteenwolf tag for art and news here: https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/notteenwolf


End file.
